Words are worse than sticks & stones

I. What is emotional/verbal abuse

II. How many women are effected by verbal abuse
III. Effects of verbal abuse on women
IV. Effects of verbal abuse on children
V. How children should deal with verbal abuse
VI. Long term effects of verbal abuse
VII. Signs that you are in a verbally abusive
relationship
VIII. How to deal with an abusive relationship
IX. How to stop verbal abuse
X. What you can do if you need help
• Emotional/Verbal abuse is a more subtle type
of abuse, yet harms a woman’s emotional,
cognitive, & physical state. The abused person
is:
• Humiliated & manipulated
• Degraded & demeaned
• Ignored & discredited
• Undermined & devalued
• Possessed & controlled
• More women experience emotional/verbal
abuse than physical violence. 35% of all women
who are or have been in married or common-
law relationships have experienced emotional
abuse. In comparison, 29% of women have
been physically assaulted by their male
partners.
The effects of verbal abuse on women range from confusion to
symptoms of, or the development of, mental disorders. Women
also report that emotional abuse is responsible for long-term
problems with health, self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. In one
study 72% of women reported that being ridiculed by their
abusive partners had the greatest impact on them, followed by
threats of abuse, jealousy, and restriction or isolation. There are
commonalities among victims in general.
• Have difficulty forming conclusions and making decisions.
• Feel or accept that there is something wrong with them on a basic
level (selfish, too sensitive, “crazy”, etc.)
• Analyze and relive abusive experiences to see where they made
mistakes
• Doubt their ability to communicate.
• Experience self-doubt, low self-confidence, and lose spontaneity
and/or enthusiasm.
The effects of verbal abuse on children ages 18 and
under include:
• substance abuse (more prevalent in males)
• physical aggression
• delinquency
• social problems
The more verbally aggressive the parent, the more
pronounced the problem, and the relationship
between these problems and verbal aggression
does not depend on the child’s age, sex, or
economic status.
• Recognize that emotionally abusive parents are trying
to compensate to feel better about themselves.
• Tell someone that you trust about the issues.
• Try to do what you can to prevent/avoid the abuse, or
at the least some of the biggest attacks.
• Bite your tongue.
• Tell your parents how you feel.
• Try to move on in a positive way.
• Get some help from a school guidance counselor or a
therapist.
• Get away from the abuse.
• Have someone you trust contact the authorities if you
can’t take it anymore.
Over time verbal/emotional abuse is strongly associated with:
• Chronic pain
• Migraine & frequent headaches
• Stammering
• Ulcers
• Spastic colon
• Frequent indigestion, diarrhea, or constipation
The psychological effects of emotional/verbal abuse are associated with:
• Fear and anxiety
• Depression
• Stress & PTSD
• Memory gap disorders
• Sleep or eating problems
• Anger issues
• Alcohol & drug abuse
• Suicide
• Self-mutilation
• Your partner uses words and attitudes to disrespect
you
• Persistently demand and retain control
• Humiliate, criticize or yell at you
• Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your
friends or family to see
• Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments
• Blame you for his or her own abusive behavior
• See you as property or a sex object, rather than as a
person
• Treat you as though you are inferior to them
• Manipulate you
The only way to stop verbal abuse in a relationship is if victims
change the way they respond to it.
• If victims change their beliefs about the abusive event, then
their emotions and behaviors change, too
• Recognize the difference between healthy negative emotions
and unhealthy ones.
• Set personal boundaries on behaviors you will not accept
from other people and enforce them.
• Victims of verbally abusive relationships who tell other
people about the abuse find support and strength and are
better able to stay clear-minded when the abuse occurs.
• Victims who address the verbal abuse as it occurs have the
opportunity to point out behavior the abuser might not
realize they are doing.
• Love yourself
The abuser knows you are emotionally spent. He counts on your low self
esteem, lack of self confidence, and reluctance to stand up for yourself to
keep the cycle of abuse going.
• Know who you’re dealing with
More than likely, the abuser chose you because he recognized your
vulnerabilities and had his own insecurities.
• Change you!
Don’t waste time hoping the abuser will wake up one morning and magically
stop mistreating you. Change the way you respond to the abuse.
• Forgive, and set yourself free!
The biggest reason we fail to move on after devastating abuse is the inability
to forgive those who cause the hurt.
Women don’t have to live in fear:
• In the US call the National Domestic Violence
Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (safe) or you can visit
the International Directory of Domestic
Violence Agencies for a global list of help lines
and crisis centers.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16741199

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-
wellness/articles/2013/10/03/the-telltale-signs-of-
verbal-abuse
http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/verbal-
abuse/verbal-abuse-signs-and-symptoms-cause-
emotional-pain/

http://consumer.healthday.com/encyclopedia/depressio
n-12/depression-news-176/depression-and-verbal-
abuse-645007.html