HUBUNGAN INTERPERSONAL

Pemahaman Diri

ATTRACTION
A force that draws people together Types:
Friendship love

Involves:
Feelings Positive thoughts toward others Inclination to act in positive ways toward them

Factor contribute to feelings of attraction

Physical attractiveness Attitude similarity Proximity Reciprocity

Physical Attractiveness
Key factor determining romantic attraction Women preferences on men Men preferences on women Some aspect of beauty appear to be crosscultural. Example?

Attitude Similarity
A key to contributor to initial attraction Women place greater emphasis Way to cope with dissimilarity
Try to convince others to change their attitudes Reevaluate our attitudes, explore the possibility of changing them End the relationship

Proximity
Determines whom we are likely to come into contact so that attraction can develop Increases the chance of interacting with others Does not always spill over into positive attraction

Reciprocity
Powerful determinant of attraction Tendency to return feelings and attitudes that are expressed about us. Positive reactions to flattery, compliments, attention.

FRIENDSHIP
A relationship between people characterized by intimacy but not by passion and commitment.(Philip Zimbardo)

Factors
The tendency to desire what is best for the other Sympathy and empathy Honesty Mutual understanding and compassion Trust Positive reciprocity

 Girls typically form closer friendship than boys Clique a small group of close friends who share confidences Crowd a large number of loosely knit friends who share activities

Tugas Kelas
Apa saja kriteria teman yang baik menurut anda, tuliskan sebanyak-banyaknya. Dari kriteria2 tersebut, buatlah peringkat kriteria yang paling penting (1-3) dan yang paling kurang penting (1-3)

Qualities that define a good friend (Psychology Today magazine)

Ability to keep confidences (89%) Loyalty (88%) Warmth and affection (82%) Supportiveness (75%) Honesty and frankness (73%) Humor (72%) Willingness to set aside time for me (62%) Independence (61%)

LOVE
Complex concept, involving many areas of experience emotional, cognitive, and motivational (Sternberg, 1988) The word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle aged, and the mutual dependence of the old (John Ciardi) An attempt at penetrating another being, but it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual (Octavio Paz)

Styles of Love
Eros romantic love
Begins with powerful pshysical attraction or feelings of passion

Ludus game-playing love Storge friendship love

the best love grows out of enduring friendship

Pragma logical love

I consider whether my partner will be a good parent

Mania possessive, excited love

When my lover ignores me I get sick all over

Agape selfless love

I would do anything I can to help my lover

Triangular Model of Love (Sternberg)

Intimacy

Passion

Commitment

Types of Love (based on Triangular of love)

Non Love
no Intimacy, passion, commitment
Romantic Love
intimacy + Passion

Companionate
Intimacy + Commitment

Liking
Intimacy alone

Fatuous
Passion + Commitment

Infatuation
Passion alone

Consumate
Intimacy + Passion + Commitment

Empty Love
Commitment alone

Types of Love; Non-love

None of the component existed Most of our personal relationships are of this type Casual interaction and acquaintance

Types of Love; Liking

Intimacy alone True friendship without passion or long-term commitment

Types of Love; Infatuation

Passion alone Love at first sight Passionate desires for another person, no intimacy & commitment

Types of Love; Empty Love

Commitment alone Commitment to maintain the relationship in the absence of either passion or intimacy

Types of Love; Romantic Love

Intimacy & Passion Lovers physically and emotionally attracted to each other but without commitment.

Types of Love; Companionate Love

Intimacy & Commitment Derives from combination of intimacy and commitment Example: Marriage where the passionate attraction has died down and has been replace by a kind of committed friendship

Types of Love; Fatuous Love

Passion + commitment Shallow relationship, Foolish Love Commitment based on passion but without time for intimacy to develop

Types of Love; Consummate Love

Complete love consisting of all three components Ideal but difficult to attain

Having a lasting love relationship

Self-acceptance Appreciation of each others qualities Commitment Good communication Realistic expectation Shared interest Ability to face & deal with conflict

Refleksi (Log book)

Apakah anda pernah jatuh cinta? Bagaimana anda menyadari bahwa anda jatuh cinta? Perasaan apakah yang membedakan antara jatuh cinta dengan sekedar rasa suka? Dari ke-8 tipe relationship berdasarkan Sternberg, mana saja yang pernah anda alami? Manakah dari tipe hubungan tersebut yang paling berarti bagi anda anda mengapa?