Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
Culture Documents
a pornography addiction Seven point plan for recovery Pornography and Homosexuality Obstacles to healing Responsible parenting The role of priests
Self-test for a Pornography Problem 1. Do I view pornography at least once a month? 2. When using the internet, do I sometimes end up looking at porn? 3. When porn is readily available, am I more tempted to view it? 4. Do I usually view the same porn? 5. When there is little or no access to porn, do I find myself not thinking about it at all?
Pornography Addiction Viewing pornography daily or binging Craving porn needing it to deal with stress, anger, anxiety, etc. Intensity of porn has increased - Soft Core Hard Core, Fetish, Bondage, Violence, Child Porn, etc. Tempted to act out the scenes viewed in porn Becoming difficult to find anyone sexually attractive other than the women in pornography
Self-test for Pornography Addiction 1. Do I look at porn at least once a week? 2. Do I regularly look forward to logging onto pornographic websites? 3. Has the type of porn I view increased in severity over time? Soft Core Hard Core, Fetish, Bondage, Violence, Child Porn? 4. Do I look for sexy images in newspapers, magazines, catalogs, billboards, etc.?
Self-test for Pornography Addiction, continued 5. Do I seek out sexually arousing programs on television? 6. Do I look forward to going away on business trips? 7. Are there behaviors I cannot share with my wife?
Spiritual Plan
Virtue
Counseling
Self-Knowledge
Admitting that you have a pornography
problem/addiction Realizing that pornography use is a symptom of much deeper emotional conflicts Willing to do whatever it takes to recover Accept that recovery may be a life-long process Committing yourself to the process dont give up!
materials from the home Monitor all media that enters the home Place the computer in a public area of the home Subscribe to an Internet Accountability Service CovenantEyes.com Spouses must have full access to all computers in the home
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Cell Phones
Blackberries I-Pods, MP3 Players
Portable Televisions
Etc.
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similar problems Helps men achieve and maintain chastity Decreases loneliness Increases confidence Help in growth in virtue Focus on others rather than oneself
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Pornography Problem
Parish mens Bible Studies and Faith Sharing Groups That Man is You parish mens groups The Kings Men Fellowship St. Josephs Covenant Keepers Knights of Columbus
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Addiction
Stronger level of support and accountability Attend several times a week to start Uses a sponsor Work through the 12 steps of A.A. which have been
modified for sexual addiction Can be used along with other mens groups
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other 12 steps group are also used Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Narcotics Anonymous (NA)
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Counseling
Sometimes needed for a pornography problem
addiction Used to identify the emotional, personality and spiritual conflicts leading to porn use Root Causes can be; Selfishness Loneliness Anger
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Counseling
Root Causes, continued
Anger
Weak Confidence Mistrust of Women
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Counseling
Root Causes - continued
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Spiritual Plan
Essential for recovery from compulsive/
addictive behaviors Common in 12-step support groups A strong friendship with the Lord in needed Commitment not to offend the Lord Sacraments are needed for grace, healing and strength Helps in growth in virtue
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Spiritual Plan
Recommendations
Eucharist at least once a week Weekly confession Daily prayer and spiritual reading Daily Scripture study lectio divina
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Spiritual Plan
Recommendations continued
Annual retreats Being active in ones parish A strong relationship with the Our Lady as a loving,
affectionate spiritual mother A strong relationship with St. Joseph as an affectionate and protective father
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pornography and compulsive masturbation Become aware of the resources available to fight pornography Protect the emotional lives and character development of family members
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pornography Teach children/teens about healthy sexuality, respect, virtues, etc. Be willing to share with others about the dangers of pornography
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Virtues
Based on Positive Psychology and the Writings
of John Paul II Permeate and strengthen all other points of recovery Those who strive to live virtuous lives tend to be happier and healthier Growing in certain virtues can help:
Grow in self-knowledge about ones strengths and
weaknesses
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Virtues
Growth in certain virtues can help: Give greater incentive to purify the home Focus on others for support and
accountability Resolve many of the emotional conflicts that have led to porn use Develop a stronger spiritual life Help protect the family from the dangers of porn and strengthen healthy character development
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Virtues
Virtues for Selfishness
Gratitude
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Virtues
Virtues for Selfishness cont.
Humility
Detachment Faith
Deference
Read the Selfish Spouse Chapter at
www.maritalhealing.com
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Virtues
Virtues for Loneliness Commit to work on healing family and peer
wounds Commit to work on strengthening marital friendship and love Commit to work on strengthening peer friendships Generosity: cheerful self-giving to God and others
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Virtues
Virtues for Loneliness, cont.
Hope
Detachment from excessive responsibilities Humility to let go of the need to control
brother, Mary as loving, mother and Joseph as protective father in each life stage
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Virtues
Virtues for Anger
Respect
Compassion Kindness
Humility
Forgiveness Read the Angry Spouse chapter at
www.maritalhealing.com
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Virtues
Virtues for Confidence Gratitude: for ones God-given gifts and
or damaged your confidence Helpfulness: Daily reach out to help others in need
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Virtues
Virtues for Mistrust
trust Generosity: Cheerfully giving to others Work on strengthening healthy friendships Daily meditate: Lord, you are the one who keeps me safe
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wounds Father wound: Searching for the affirmation one did not receive from his father. Peer wound: Searching for the acceptance one did not receive from male peers Poor body image Weak male confidence Mistrust of females
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talents Friendships: healthy non-sexual friendships with other men Thankfulness: for ones body Forgiveness: for father and/or peers who did not offer love, affirmation and acceptance as a child or teen Generosity: to combat narcissism
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Humility
Faith Daily meditate on the holy family
rejected you.
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Obstacles to Recovery
Denial that one has a problem
correct
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Obstacles to Recovery
Poor spiritual life
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effects of selfishness Focus on character development Lead by healthy example Not afraid to correct in love
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Permissive Parenting
Fail to protect children Unable to correct selfishness due to their own
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selfishness Fosters excessive anger in children Does not present a healthy view of human sexuality Fosters the contraceptive mentality and the sexual utilitarian philosophy Enables the use of porn by failure to recognize its harmful effects Often weak in faith and spiritual leadership
Responsible Parenting
Models cheerful self-giving
sacrament of marriage Sees the other for their intrinsic beauty Unafraid to correct childrens selfishness Focuses on virtues and character development Warns teens about the damage caused by pornography and compulsive masturbation Criticizes the contraceptive mentality in the culture and the sexual utilitarian philosophy
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and priests are totally committed to the fullness of the Catholic truth on sexual morality, a truth as essential to the renewal of the priesthood and the episcopate as it is to the renewal of marriage and family life. John Paul II: April 2002
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II, that "the problem with pornography is not that it reveals too much of the person (exposed in the image), but that it reveals too little of the person. The person in the image is reduced to their sexual organs and sexual faculties and is thereby depersonalized," Blessed Are The Pure In Heart: A Pastoral Letter on the Dignity of the Human Person and the Dangers of Pornography, February 21, 2007
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children, ravages the bonds of marriage and victimizes the most innocent among us. It obscures and destroys peoples ability to see one another as unique and beautiful expressions of Gods creation, instead darkening their vision, causing them to view others as objects to be used and manipulated. Those who engage in such activity deprive themselves of sanctifying grace and destroy the life of Christ in their souls. Bishop Loverdes Letter, 2006
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sexuality in the sacrament of marriage Warn of the dangers of pornography and compulsive masturbation Criticize the sexual utilitarian philosophy Criticize permissive parenting and the contraceptive mentality Strengthen Catholic fatherhood Teach that true manliness is measured by ones character
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& teens who struggle with pornography A great source of support, accountability, and community for men in the parish The Kings Men That Man is You St. Joseph Covenant Keepers Knights of Columbus
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confess struggling with pornography: Thank God for your strength in coming forward and admitting you have a problem. This is the first step in your journey to recovery. Youre not alone. Thousands of men struggle with compulsive pornography use. Do you want to be free from this sin? Are you willing to pay the price?
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confess struggling with pornography, cont.: Healing and freedom from sin is possible, but know that you cant do it alone. It requires Gods grace, professional help, and support from other men who understand your struggle.
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confess struggling with pornography, cont.: Here is a card that will direct you to helpful resources. If youre serious about overcoming pornography use, I urge you to explore them. Know that God, the Father of Mercy and Love, will provide the grace to overcome this sin.
Developed with the Archdiocese of New York
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contribute to healing the pornography epidemic Beauty is a key to the mystery and a call to transcendence. It is an invitation to savour life and to dream of the future. That is why the beauty of created things can never fully satisfy. It stirs that hidden nostalgia for God which a lover of beauty like Saint Augustine could express in incomparable terms: Late have I loved you, beauty so old and so new: late have I loved you!. John Paul II, Letter to Artists, n. 16 (1999)
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the person rejects pornography because there is no longer an attraction to it. The force of true beauty is great and can, even if slowly and imperfectly, replace the corrupt understanding of beauty. This requires openness to the saving power of God to transform the heart. The realization of a true understanding of beauty restores the sight of man to overcome his concupiscence, to overcome his use of the other as a mere body. John Paul II knew this well when he quoted Dostoyevsky, beauty will save the world. Letter to Artists, no. 16.
Patrick Williams paper on porn, John Paul II Institute
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The End
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