Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
Culture Documents
J Munro 2007
Unit Sequence
1. Voice
Develop a Personal Voice when Writing Point of View First and Third person Planning your Narrative Orientation Complication Resolustion Sequence of Events Short Stories Opening Paragraphs Examples of Story Beginnings The Opening Sentence Active Beginnings
2. Point of View
9. Sentence Structure
3. Structure of a Narrative
4. Good Beginnings
5.
Plot Development
Improve your Plot Plot Development
Funny
One day my mom took me to the circus. I LOVE the circus. There are always some very funny clowns. My favorite clown there came up to me and told me he had a secret for me. He got real close to me and I thought he was going to whisper in my ear when POW he squirted me in the face with his water flower. I never laughed so much. I had a great time at the circus and will remember it for the rest of my life.
Serious
It was the day for the big test. I studied all week and knew I was ready. I was still a little bit nervous, but knew once I started I would be fine. The teacher asked us to get some books out to read when we were finished so we wouldn't bother the other kids if we finished early. The test was a breeze. When I was done I started to read my favorite book.
Mysterious Yesterday when I was on my way to the grocery store I saw a very strange man. He had on a brown trench coat, red hat and was carrying a purple umbrella. I'm sure he was some kind of investigator. As he began walking I noticed he was just peeking over the top of his coat and I could only see his eyes. He was very sneaky looking. I'm sure he was watching somebody, I just wonder who!
Frightening As a baseball let me tell you I have some pretty frightening experiences. Imagine being hit by a hard bat. OUCH, I want to scream every time someone hits me. Then for the flight through the air. You can't believe how scary that is. I am always asking myself three questions. Will someone catch me? Will I fly over the fence and land with a hard thud? Or will I just go bouncing across the field? The next time you are frightened, stop a minute and think about how I feel. That is the true meaning of frightened!
Look at the picture below and reading the short paragraph. Choose the voice that you think is being used in each paragraph. Remember when writing with voice it can be: Funny, Serious, Mysterious, Frightening
Have you ever seen two Martians in a play before? Well you should have been at the same show as I was. I never laughed so hard in my life. These two green creatures were trying to back to their land safely, but came across many strange people. They never saw humans before. They kept trying to act like us. Well, that is where the fun begins. You should go see the Martian's On Earth if you get a chance. It is your chance to sit back and laugh!
Halloween night was finally here. I was very excited to trick or treating with my friends. There is always one house that everyone is afraid to go to and this year we decided we would go. We slowly crept up the steps and tap lightly at the door hoping nobody would hear us and we could get out of there quickly. Before we could turn around there she was. There were bats flying around her head, a frog in one hand, a broom in the other hand and a black cat next to her leg. Before she could speak my friends and I let out a scream and ran all the way home. That is one house
The first day of school is always a tough one. You are always waiting to see who is in your class, what your teacher will be like and how your day will run. Usually everyone is very quiet trying to set a good example. We all get out our books, sit in our seats nice and tall and do everything the teacher says with very little noise. I bet this is the teachers favorite day of the year!
I will never forget my 5th birthday. My mom surprised me with a clown to entertain my friends and I. This clown was very funny and had many tricks up his sleeve. When his show was over he made everyone at my party a balloon animal. This was a great day for me!
Exercise:
You and your friends were playing a ball game outside on the top quad. You know that you are not allowed to kick balls on the quad. When the ball was passed to you, you kicked it back. The ball didnt go where you wanted it and you broke Mrs. Jones office window.
Describe what happened to Mrs Jones, using a serouis voice, and then in a funny voice described to your friends what happened.
Point of View
When a writer begins a new story he must decide:"Who will tell my story?" An author can tell a story from the first-person point of view. OR The author can use the third-person point of view
First - Person Point of View I walked home from school today with my friends. We stopped for ice cream. I had vanilla. It's my favorite. When I got up this morning I brushed my teeth. Then I got dressed and ate my breakfast.
Third - Person Point of View
Ted plays on a baseball team. He loves to play with his team. He has a game next week. His coach thinks he's a good baseball player. The princess was locked in the tower. She had no way to escape. She hoped that a prince would rescue her. Her wish came true. He came and took her to his castle.
Read each group of sentences. Decide if it is written in first person or third person point of view.
The hunter had a cottage in the woods. He lived there all alone.
I ride the bus to each every day. I like to sit with my friends.
Joey likes to go swimming. Sometimes he asks his friend Sam to go with him. He brings his ball to play with.
Frosty the snowman had a hat on his head. He also had a pipe and a carrot nose. He held a shovel in his hand.
Point of View
The role of the narrator is vital as her or his bias can affect the way the story develops.
Retell Little Red Riding Hood from two of these points of view: grandma Red Riding Hoods mother the wolf the wood cutter Use the first person I when you write your two or three paragraphs.
Narrative Writing
In a good narrative, the reader relates closely to the story, feels involved with the plot and often identifies with the characters. A good story is hard to put down and the reader feels a sense of loss when it ends. The features of a narrative are:
the plot characters the setting theme this is what happens the people or animals in the story where the narrative takes place the aurthors message
Plan the path your writing will take. This plan is in a flow-chart form.
Opening Paragraphs
The opening paragraph of a narrative will often give us an introduction to the characters, the setting, or both and will often give us a hint about the plot.
Another name for this is orientation. You orientate your readers, give them an idea, right from the start, that your text is going to be worth reading.
Opening Sentences
The Opening Sentence
To write an opening sentence which will grab the readers attention. Stories can start using the following ways: Dialogue: Hands in the air this is a stick up! he hollered roughly.
A statement:
Problem:
The school principal had to collect the boy from the roof.
David didnt know what to do: the school bully, Ted was expecting him to hand over five doallars and all he had was fifty cents.
Action:
Description of people: Description of place: Description of time:
Without a moments hesitation, Maude Drinkwater lifted the revolver and fired.
Mr Sherman looked ordinary for someone who had just solved one of the worlds most difficult maths problems. The sky was the colour of dish water. As the clock struct twelve it echoed around the hall.
Write an opening sentence for one of these stories using the different ways to start a story:
A mysterious stranger An accident An act of bravery The arrival of a new pet A win
A loss
Active Beginings
In order to capture your readers attention, the beginning of your story must be interesting and lively enough to make your reader want to keep reading. One way to do this is to begin with an action.
Directions: Revise each story beginning. Put your main character in the setting, and have the character do something relevant to the story. Example: Revision: One rainy day I went to the mall. I splashed across the parking lot, yanked open the tall glass door, dripping wet, stepped into the mall.
1. Hi. My name is Kate. This is a story about the time I went to the zoo.
Put Kate at the zoo doing something 2. This is a story about the time I built a robort in my basement. Put yourself in the basement doing something
3. Do you think this book is written about the past, the present or the future?
4. What were the clues that gave you the answer to question 3? Discuss the reason. 5. Does the opening paragraph make you want to read on? Why/why not?
Exercise 2: Rocco
Here is an orientation that gives a setting.
1. Is it daytime or night-time? How do you know? 2. Is the youth sleeping peacefully? Give reasons for your answer. 3. What do you think the story is going to be about? Making reference to the text, give reasons for your answer.
1. Is the book set in New Zealand? Give a reason for your answer. 2. Is the setting in the past, the present or the future? Give a reason for your answer. 3. What is meant by the clemantis was shining in start palaces in the bush?
Plot
A plot starts with an introduction to the narrative. A plot will include problems or crises and how these are solved, and the conclusion to the narrative. If it is a good plot, there will be situayions which happen throughout the narrative thaat will make you want to read on. What happens in a novel has been carefully planned by the author. Some authors use a flow chart to plan their work. Others might write a brief overview of events noting each crisis, climax or problem and how each will be resolved.
This text gives a good example of the rise and fall of a crisis within the plot. There is a build up with all the action of trying to get out of the way of the tiger and it leaping, then the feeling of relief when the animal is dead. Short quick sentences: Then it looked at me. It did not see me. keep the feeling of excitement and suspense going.
This is how the plot of The Keeper might look in graph form.
The plot may have many parts to it. It may have subplots within the main plot. Whether the plot is action-packed or slow and leisurely, a good plot will keep the reader interested. A crisis is a turning-point, a moment of danger or suspense. A climax is the highest point in a series of events. There is often a build-up to a big climax near the end of the narrative.
Characterisation
A persons appearance, their posture and ways of walking, their hobbies, the way in which they express their emotions, their secret wishes, fears, prejudices and religious beliefs are all pointers to their character. We develop character through the following: Dialogue Action Reactions Relationships Crisis what the characters say and how the say it what the characters do how the characters think and feel in different situations how the character interact with each other, and how others view them a turning point in the story for the character; the way in which the characters respond in a crisis revaels true character
Exercise Write 4-6 sentences, using the Show, dont tell method, which reveal the characters of the following people: a greedy child a stressed teacher a bossy bus driver an impatient explorer a terrified airline passenger a mother trying to get her reluctant todler to eat
Characters
Narrative Characters may be people of animals. Although they are imaginary, the author may have modelled their character on people they know. A reader can usually identify with characters, either through a characters personality, actions or experiences, or physical appearance. Characters in a book may be built up over several chapters with the reader getting an impression of their personality through actions, reactions and relationships to other characters.
Character Wheels
Planning a Setting
Create a setting
Write a setting that vividly portrays the background to the plot.
The setting is where the action is happening and when the action occurs ie. Time of day, month, year. Choose one of the following and write a short description of it. The description should include: time of day, the weather, the sights, sound and smells. The beach Inside a restaurant A city street A favourite park A swamp
Add Phrases
Phrases add information and interest to short, dull sentences. To add an adjectival phrase, you can ask questions like how, when, or where.
Adjectival phrases:
Adverbial phrases:
We skipped. We skipped across the playground. We skipped across the playground with great abandon after our win in soccer.
4. We worked.
Rewrite the following examples to turn each example into one interesting sentence. 1. It was Sunday. The cricket match was cancelled. The pitch had been ruined by rain 2. I was not pleased with my sister Natalie. She scribbled on my homework. I told mom. 3. Ive been working all day. Im tired. I think Ill take a rest. 4. Every night for dinner we have boiled rice. I dont like boiled rice. It is my least favourite food.
Example
Listen to what is happening. These sentences have five words. Here are another five words. Five more words to follow it. The sentences begin to drone. There is no variety here. Its like a stuck record. It goes on and on.
1. Write a five sentence story; the first sentence should have one word, the second two words, the third three words and so on. 2. Write a five sentence story with a different number of words in each sentence. 3. Study sentence lenghts in a page from a published story.
Smooth Transitions
One way an author can get the readers attention is by using pharases that we call red flags. red flags, such as all of a sudden or the next thing I knew, indicate a new twist in the plot. Red flags can replace predictiable words and phrases, like next and then.
Read the sample sentences below. Create your own Red Flag Menu by filling in the blanks. Suddenly Just then I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster.
Let's look at a story without dialogue. Sharing a room with her sister wasn't always fun. Kristi was tired of always cleaning up after her sister Ashley. Just because they shared a room, that doesn't mean they had to share the mess! Ashley was always leaving dirty dishes on her desk, and there were always dirty clothes under the bed. Kristi had tried to talk to Ashley about cleaning up the mess, but somehow talking didn't help.
Your audience will have a better understanding of Kristi and Ashley after reading the conversation that takes place between them. It's more interesting to read...AND...it helps to understand how both Kristi and Ashley FEEL .
Dialogue lets you tell so much more about your characters. It allows your readers to understand your characters more too.
Reminder When writing dialogue you must remember to: 1. Use Quotation Marks. 2. Identify who is speaking. 3. Indent each time the speaker changes. 4. Use commas correctly.
Here's a sample of what your story might look like. Notice the quotation marks and commas. Check your story to make sure you have the correct punctuation.
Paul and his dad were planning their first fishing trip of the year. "What should I pack, Dad?" said Paul. "I don't want to forget anything." "Just bring your pole, Paul. I've got everything else we'll need already in the car," said Dad. "Mom's already packed us a big lunch. We want to get an early start!" "Should I bring a sweatshirt?" questioned Paul. "Oh, it's always cool in the morning near the lake. You'll need more than a sweatshirt. You need to make sure you dress warm." Paul headed up to bed. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep, Dad. I'm too excited!"
Create Similes
LEARNING INTENTION: To liken something to something else, by using similes.
Examples: My attention was as far away as love on a battlefield. Her skin is pale as eggshells.
Complete the following: 1. The sun sank in the west like 2. The baby opened its mouth for food like 3. When he left, it was quiet 4. The shadow hung on the wall like 5. His words were as painful as 6. The sun on the water was like 7. On roller skates she looked as awkward as 8. The sky was as blue as 9. The clouds rolled across the sky like.. 10. After our huge dinner of fish and chips, we felt like
METAPHORS
A metaphor is like a simile. That's because it is a comparison that is made between things, which is not always likely or obvious. We dont use like or as in a metaphor. We often use metaphors without realising it. For instance, when we say that your parents 'bark a command' at you, you are comparing them to a dog, and hence engaging in metaphor! Other Metaphors A heart of stone He has the heart of a lion You are the sun in my sky You are the light in my life She is my East and my West, my compass. You had better pull your socks up Love is a lemon - either bitter of sweet
Create Metaphors
LEARNING INTENTION: to understand that a metaphor is a word picture in which the writer replaces the thing to be described with another image. It makes a more direct and vivid comparison to a simile. Examples: The moon is a pearl from a necklace. The moon is a cold, cheesy pizza. The moon is earths halo
Personification
LEARNING INTENTION: to understand that in personification, the non-human is identified with the human or given human characteristics.
Examples: The steel beam clenched its muscles. Clouds limped across the sky. The pebbles on the path were grey with grief. Cricket has been good to me. The New Zealand dollar had a quiet month. Life dealt him a heavy blow.
Give the following items human characteristics: wind night moon refugee camp cold war
Onomatopoeia
LEARNING INTENTION: to understand that Onomatopoeia is found in a group of words that attempts to replicate certain sounds.
We have words like woof-woof, or bow wow, tweet-tweet, and cock-a-doodle doo. However, these words are still the creation of the human mind.
Examples: crackle, splat, ooze, squish, boom. The tyres whirr on the road. The pitter-patter of soft rain. The mud oozed and squished through my toes.
Write onomatopoeia for the following: gun sound bomb planes wind tank walking in snow
IMPACT
Show Dont Tell
To write what is happening in the story without explicitly stating it. Telling sentence: Showing sentence: Joe was old. Joe creacked when he moved, his arthritic limbs bowed beneath the weight of his eighty years
Below are some telling sentences which simply state facts. Transform them into showing sentences:
1. It was cold on the beach. 2. Dad was angry.
First Draft
Revised
The idea was thought of by Jim at four oclock early in the morning. (14 words) Jims idea came at 4 am. (6 words)
Rewrite these sentences, eliminating all the unnecessary words to make each sentence more precise.
1. He looked at Mike. Mike was his brother. 2. The people that I would like to tell you about are my father and mother. 3. He let me know that the contest the Bulldogs were in resulted in a win for the Bulldogs. 4. In the vase were some daffodils. The vase of daffodils was on the table. 5. This recipe deals with and describes one method used to attain the desired result in the preparation of scrambled eggs.
Rewrite these sentences using details to make the image live. 1. The room was dark 2. The girl ran 3. His dog was unwashed and smelly 4. The lady next door is a busy body.
What were the feelings of the passengers about reching the island?
When did the boat arrive? What was the purpose of the visit? Read the following sentences. What questions would you ask the writer to ensure that all the essential information was given. 1. I dont like school. 2. My aunt is in hospital.
For my birthday I got lots of presents. It was a lovely day. We got off the train at Wellington. My sister got fifty dollars a week. In the war, lots of men got injured. Feeling annoyed, the teacher went out of the room. We had a nice holiday in Dunedin where we met many nice people.
Strong Verbs
By using strong verbs we can express movement and help to create a picture in the readers mind. Well-chosen verbs can give writing power. With throttles open all the way, big bad bruce and his gang charge down the highway on their Harleys. Bruce blasts along the highway at top speed. Icy wind whacks into his face. He whacks it back, twice as hard. He zooms around corners and shoots up the straight. He pushes his bike to the max. from Big Bad Bruce by Dianne Bates
Write a description of the action in each of thes pharases using strong verbs.
a man kicking a door a lion stalking prey a rabbit digging a hole
Using a Thesaurus
A thesaurus extend your word power.
declared questioned
exclaimed
replied bellowed
repeated
shouted
whispered
responded asked