A discussion/analysis of the differences between raising children in different cultures by: Rosanna Amato and Melissa Jurado

Idea of Parenthood
France
French believe the baby fits into the family, not the family into the baby
The families do not have to change

United States of America

American families typically want

their normal routine just because a new baby has come into it. Parents are happier Make time for themselves Do not devote all their time to children Parents do not get frantic about having a baby They have a more calm approach preparing for a baby

to change their life around to adapt to the new baby Parents feel overwhelmed
They want to buy parenting books,

research, and read about parenting techniques. They feel as if there are not enough hours in the day They devote many hours to their children Very panicked something will go wrong

Druckerman says: French parents are very concerned about their kids but are not panicked about their childrens wellbeing (3)

Idea of Tough Love in French Culture

French children experience tough love from their parents from the very beginning. Parents will allow children to fuss and cry in the crib. In comparison with American parents who immediately go to their child when they hear crying. French parents teach their children how to sort through problems on their own until the parent is really needed, such as feeding/changing diaper. French parents think this idea of having kids who need instant gratification makes life unbearable Druckerman explains this idea as the:Let it be principle - Let the children entertain themselves - Do not make childs life constraining for the parents (Druckerman, 143)

Lack of tough love in the U.S.

Parents want to meet every demand of their children to make their children happy. They will sacrifice much of their own time for the sake of their children . This is seen by the use of sophisticated technology where American parents have to have the latest baby video monitors so that they can see and hear the baby at all times to see if the baby is safe and needs anything.

Discipline in France
Stricter

especially in front of adults They do not act out in public Children have expectations instilled in them from the very beginning. When I ask French parents how they discipline their children it takes them a few beats to understand what I mean. Ah, you mean how do we educate them? (Druckerman, 7) French view discipline as educational, not as punishment Druckerman found that discipline is a seldom used category and education is something they imagine they do all the time as parents (Druckerman 7) American children have no boundaries, their parents lack authority and anything goes. This is the antithesis of French ideal. French children have very strict limits and the parents strictly enforce those limits but within those limits the children have a lot of freedom (Druckerman 68)

Children are taught to be respectful,

Discipline in United States

Parents in the United States use negative re-enforcement which makes the child learn that when they act out, they can get what they want. Children act out in public
Tantrums in stores when the child doesnt get what they want

We can see how in the United States children are spoiled, children are picky

eaters, children are obese, watch excessive amounts of television, etc. Parents feel guilt because they are working many hours and do not spend enough quality time with their children and so they overcompensate French mothers recognize this guilt, but the difference is they dont valorize it. To the contrary, they consider it unhealthy and unpleasant, and they try to banish it.

Guilt is a trap (Druckerman, 146)

French children adapt to adult routine

Children in France are taught to act like an adult at an early age.

They are not picky eaters, they do not throw food, they eat in an adult manner.

Expected to behave while parents are mingling with other adults. French children begin to sleep throughout the night much earlier than American children ( 2-3 months old) French parents can not explain why there children sleep throughout the night, but the speculate that it is because they expose children to light during the day keep them in the dark at night French parents put their children in a certain rhythm for bedtime
The fact that in American we have TVs, nightlights, and other distractions in the

bedroom, it can ruin this rhythm for children.

Once the children begins his or her education, they are taught that speaking properly is important
The French logic seems to be that if children can speak clearly, they can also think clearly In the United States, parents are too focused on buying baby-literacy DVDs, and everything else, not focusing on the childrens thinking, cognitive skills, and rationalization.

Differences in culture
France

United States of America

Culture is not work-based

Does not have a competitive nature

Siesta children and parents eat lunch and spend time together. French parents do want their children to be stimulated

Such as talking to them and taking them to tennis lessons, but are not as obsessive about overstimulation as Americans are.

French mothers realize the perfect mother doesnt exist and they say it to each other to reassure themselves. While some American toddlers are getting Mandarin tutors and pre-literacy training, French kids are by designtoddling around by themselves(Druckerman 7)

Work-based culture American culture is such that parents are very busy working, as a result it causes parents to not spend as much time with their children and parents feel guilt for this and want to spoil their child in an effort to make it up to them 1980s started a stigma that children need more stimulation, now Americans over stimulate children. Signing children up for soccer, ballet, violin, etc. They over pack the childrens schedule in an effort to be successful within the competitive nature of American society.

Pamela Druckerman Interview

http://www.youtube.co

m/watch?v=OGk5NvZ ZfRM In this interview, Pamela points out very interesting facts she discovered while raising her own child in Paris, France.

Our Thoughts after Research

We were both found the topic to be interesting and our

research helped us open our eyes to a different approach in child rearing. We think that some of the ways the French culture chooses to raise their children are very effective. However, we understand the cultural differences and believe these ideas just might not work in the work- based competitive culture of the United States. We believe that being made aware of these suggestions and the differences of child rearing in these countries can offer parents ideas to think about when they are raising their children.

Bibliography

Druckerman, Pamela. Bringing up Bebe. New York: The Penguin Press, 2012. Print. This books focuses on the differences that the author saw in French parenting versus what she saw through her experiences or friends experiences in the United States. "French Parenting? That's good ol' American Wisdom."Charlotte Observer. N.p., 27 002 2012. Web. 3 Apr 2012. This website comments on the book listed above and well as comments on our cultural differences and how times have changed. Sealey, Geraldine. "Supermom Smackdown." MarieClarie. N.p., 22 002 2012. Web. 3 Apr 2012. <http://www.marieclaire.com/world-reports/pamela-druckerman-interview>. This website provides a written interview between Marie Claire and Pamela Druckerman. It provides information on what Pamela Druckerman to become interested in observing the differences between French and American parenting. Druckerman, Pamela. Internet Videoconference Interview. http://www.askmen.com/video/sports/pamela-druckerman-bringing-up-bebe-interview-video.html

This is the reference to the video interview that we have provided as part of this presentation. It contains additional information on observations that Pamela Druckerman writes about.