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Original Foundation
Design: Genesis 2.8-21
Setting: Garden East of Eden (i.e. from where Adam was created; 2.8) Two notable trees (2.9) A presumable spring from Eden made four rivers to water the garden (2.10-14)
Original Foundation
Design: Genesis 2.8-21
Setting (contd): Work: Man was put there to tend it [care for attentively]work was made a part of the His order (2.15) Restriction: One boundary given; one testing point established (2.19a) Consequence: Death (2.19b) spiritually, physically, emotionally
Original Foundation
Design: Genesis 1.8-21
Good: Each days creation; good food; good gold (1.1-25; 2.9, 12) Not Good: alone=separation, by ones self; isolation (2.18) Helper=one who assists/rescues/helps; this implies the one helped is lacking Comparable=of equivalent quality; spiritually, emotionally & physically
Original Foundation
Design: Genesis 1.8-21
Divine Surgery: Adam was from the groundjust like the animals he was naming i.e. belonging to the earth (2.19-20) Eve was the only creature taken, not from the ground, but the flesh of anotherthe very side (2.21)
Original Foundation
Design: Genesis 1.8-21
Divine Surgery: (contd) Unique associationbelonging to Adam (2.22-23) Unique bondthe only two like this in the creation Unique loyalty to another is the result Unique marriageGod officiated (2.24-25)
Original Foundation
Design: Genesis 1.8-21
Divine Surgery: Unique Picture *Adam slept *Christ slept *Adams side was *Christs side was opened pierced *Adam was *Christ is & will be delighted delighted (Eph. 5.25-27)
Original Foundation
Design: Genesis 2:24-25 Leave =To forsake, depart from, let alone, leave behind Cleave=cling to; stick tothe adherence is so tight that to separate would be destructive (2 Sam. 23.20) Perceive=there is a new union; new life unit; new life cycle; fresh, innocent & virgin
New Beginnings
Design: Genesis 2:24-25 (used in four NT passages & prescribe four principles) 1.Matt. 19.3-9: Permanencethe Lord Jesus is answering questions about easy divorce but from the beginning it was not sowhat God has joined together, let no man separate (vv. 6b, 8b)
New Beginnings
Design: Genesis 2:24-25 (used in four NT passages & prescribe four principles) 2.1 Corinthians 6.15-7.2 Faithfulnessphysical union with another than your wife violates this principle; it is a serious matter shall I takeand makeof a harlot? the twoshall become one fleshfleeimmorality (vv.15-16)
New Beginnings
Design: Genesis 2:24-25 (used in four NT passages & prescribe four principles) 3.1 Corinthians 11.8-12 Structure of authority or headship: This is the idea of structure and order that God establishes the head ofhe is the image & glory of God, but the womanglory of manwoman for...man (vv. 3-9)
New Beginnings
Ephesians 5.22-25
Two Concepts:
Willing Submission (v. 22, 24) Loving Authority (v. 25)
the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church (5.23) Church Wife
Willing Submission
Man
the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God (1 Cor. 11.3) Christ Man Willing Submission Woman
Matt. 3.17:
Man
the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God (1 Cor. 11.3) Christ Man Willing Submission Woman
Proverbs 24:3-4
Husbands: Give your wives no reason to fear Wives: Give the respect for without the motivation of fear 1 John 4.18: there is no fear in love; perfect love casts out all fear
Communication:
Communication: Principles
Manner: Col. 4.29 speech seasoned with salt (Cf. Pr. 10.21; 15.4, 7; 16.2124; 22.17-18; 25.11; Ec. 10.12)
Essential Understandings
Essential Understandings
Contention or Conflict Prov. 18.19: A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle Insight: You cannot let offense or conflict go unaddressed Results: Spouses whose hearts are barred shut, yet sleeping in the same bed
Essential Understandings
Contention or Conflict Prov. 20.3: It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel. Insight: It is an honor not to quarrel; it is not an honor to win the argument, to speak louder, to humiliate/embarrass the other person, to have the final word None of those things bring honor or respect
Essential Understandings
Contention or Conflict Prov. 17.14: The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore, stop contention before a quarrel starts. Key: Stop before it gets started Thus: Recognize what is going and diffuse the time bomb
Essential Understandings
Contention or Conflict: See yourself
1. Hatred
vs. LoveProv. 10.12: Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sin 2. PrideProv. 13.10: By pride comes nothing but strife (Cf. 28.25) 3. WrathProv. 15.18: A wrathful man stirs up strife, but a man slow to anger allays contention (Cf. 29.22 and Ja. 1.19For the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God)
Essential Understandings
Contention or Conflict: See yourself 4. Contrary: Prov. 16.28--A perverse man sows strife and a whisperer separates the best of friends (Cf. 26.20) 5. Foolish words: Prov. 18.6: A fools lips enter into contentionmouth calls for blows 6. Scoffer (Critical)Prov. 22.10: Cast out the scoffer & contention will leave
Essential Understandings
Contention or Conflict: See yourself 7. Selfishness Death to self: If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself & take up his cross (Lk. 9.23) Death to self: Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies, it produces much fruit (Jn. 12.24)
Essential Understandings
Contention or Conflict: Look at yourself 7. Selfishness Death to self: Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesuswho emptied himselfform of a bondservant obedient to death (Phil. 2.5-8) Marriage can be an anvil where the god of selfishness is crushed; or lives will be brokenwhich will you chose???
Essential Understandings
Contention or Conflict: See yourself 7. Selfishness: In Expectations Definition: Self imposed restriction upon another that assumes they know what you are thinking, desiring or doing Insight: It is a subtle and deadly form of selfishness Insight: It comes from the flesh;
Essential Understandings
Contention or Conflict: See yourself 7. Selfishness: In Expectations Psalm 62.5: My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him expectation=the thing longed for; root is to look for eagerly This is not your spouse, but the Lord; such puts your spouse in position to fail
Essential Understandings
Resolution Principle: Mt. 5.23: Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, gofirst be reconciled reconciled=to be restored to normal relations; change feelings towards; make peace
Cf. 1 Sam. 15.22; Is. 1.10-17; Hos. 6.6; Am.
Essential Understandings
Resolution
Incongruous: To bring worship to the Lord & not obey in being reconciled one to another (Cf. 1 Sam. 15.22; Is. 1.10-17; Hos. 6.6; Am. 5.21-24) Men: You must take the lead here; do not let things remain unaddressed Do not make the same mistake of Adam Goal: Not to win the argument; but to restore the relationship
Essential Understandings
Resolution Principle: Mt. 18.15: if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. Cf. Prov. 25.9: Debate your case with your neighbor & do not disclose your secret to another Insight: Settle this with your spouse; not your parents or friends or co-workers
Essential Understandings
Brokenness Brokenness: You do not desire sacrificethe sacrifices of God are a broken spirita contrite heart You will not despise (Ps. 51.16-17) Brokenness: but on this one will I lookon him who is of a poor & contrite spirit & who trembles at my Word (Is. 66.2)
Essential Understandings
Brokenness Brokenness: Josiahbecause your heart was tender and you humbled yourself before the Lord when you heard what I spokeand you tore your clothes and weptI also heard you (2 Kg. 22.19) Insight: Both parties must be trembling at the Word of God that applies to your portion of the problem
Essential Understandings
Brokenness Insight: Treat your sin as the only sin in the entire roomthe tax collectorbeat his breastGod, be merciful to me THE sinner (Lk. 18.11-14) Insight: The one justified is not the one monitoring the other party Insight: True brokenness is tested in your response when the issue comes up again
Essential Understandings
Brokenness 2 Cor. 7.11: Evidences of repentance 1. Diligence: earnest care or extremely concerned about the matter; not indifferent 2. Clearing: Taking definitive & determined action & you clear/defend yourself
Essential Understandings
Brokenness 2 Cor. 7.11: Evidences of repentance 3. Indignation: Appropriate anger against the sin 4. Fear: Reconstituted fear of the Lord right accountable attitude toward God 5. Vehement desire: Longing to see the wrong situation corrected
Essential Understandings
Brokenness 2 Cor. 7.11: Evidences of repentance 6. Zeal: Intense interest in Gods reestablished glory, restoring the sinner, cleaning up the situation 7. Vindication: Appropriate penalty for the wrong and wrong doer
Essential Understandings
Forgiveness Definition: Col. 1.14; Eph. 1.7 forgive =the act of freeing one from an obligation Definition: Col. 3.13; Eph. 4.32 forgive=grant freely as an underserved favor
Essential Understandings
Forgiveness Insight: Releasing or sending away anothers wrongs will be an undeserved favor to your spouse Insight: Enough cannot be done to earn it Question: How do you forgive your spouse?
Essential Understandings
Forgiveness Psalm 103.11-12: as high as the heavens are abovesois His mercyas far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us Cf. Lev. 16.15-16, 20-22: The goat sacrificed & the goat releasednever found Question: How do you forgive your spouse?
Essential Understandings
Forgiveness Romans 8.1: There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus condemnation=to judge guilty & settle the case with appropriate with penalty Question: How do you forgive your spouse?
Essential Understandings
Forgiveness Heb. 8.12: For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more Insight: How can a God who knows all not remember something? Answer: Voluntarily & consistently when the Enemy comes Question: How do you forgive your spouse?
Essential Understandings
Restoration 2 Cor. 2.7-11: you ought rather to forgive and comfortreaffirm you love to him forgive=gracious gift or act; undeserved comfort=call to ones side or along side reaffirm=confirm, ratify, validate in a legally binding manner
Essential Understandings
Restoration 2 Cor. 2.7-11: lest Satan should take Problem: Reinvestment of trustwas violated oncewill you expose yourself to this risk again? Understanding: This is what you are asking the offended to doit cannot be demanded nor expected by the offender Satan: He uses these emotions to keep marriages separated in heart and body
Essential Understandings
Restoration Gal. 6.1: if a man is overtaken in any trespass restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you be restore=to make someone completely adequate for something or function well Insight: This is what spouses do one with another on a regular basis
Essential Understandings
Restoration Gal. 6.1: restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you be gentleness=your strength under control due to your trust in His ability to handle the situation irrespective of you; outwardly it looks like mild, soft, gentle; inwardly it is pure reliance upon God
Essential Understandings
Restoration Gal. 6.1: , considering yourself lest you be tempted consider=to pay careful attention to Insight: The reason one must be meek in handling restoring brother, is due to the restorers own vulnerability to the same demise Insight: This situations demands your own humility
Potential Thunderclouds
Three Areas Finances In-Laws Parenting
Potential Thunderclouds
Finances Attitudes: Your trust Prov. 23.5: Do no overwork to be rich. Will you set your eyes on that which is not, for richesmakes wingsthey fly away Insight: Set your eyes are on the Lord for provisions (CF. Prov. 3.5; Jer. 17.7)
Potential Thunderclouds
Finances Attitudes: Your trust I Tim. 6.17: Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty nor TRUST in the uncertainty of riches, BUT in the living God Insight: It really does matter to God where that heart goes when in need
Potential Thunderclouds
Finances Attitudes: 1 Tim. 6.6-10 godliness with contentment is great gain having food & clothing with these we shall be content contentment=state of having what is adequate; happy with you have & happy with what others have
Potential Thunderclouds
Finances Attitudes: 1 Tim. 6.6-10 those who desire to be rich fall intotemptation and a snare into foolishlusts which drown pierced themselveswithmany sorrows Insight: This is a very dangerous storm: It seems beautiful but deadly
Potential Thunderclouds
Finances Actions: 1 Tim. 6.17-19 (Cf. 1 Tim. 5.8; Acts 20.33-35) who gives us richly all things to enjoy. Let them do goodrich in good worksready to give, willing to share Insight: At first glance, it looks like we have what we have for our enjoyment Insight: Actually, we have what we have for good worksgiving & sharing
Potential Thunderclouds
Finances Practical Approaches 1. Plan budget together (remember Prices rule) 2. Dont spend it all 3. Look for needs 4. Prayerfully met needs 5. Give without expectations 6. Receive with grace
Potential Thunderclouds
In-Laws Attitude:
Eph. 6.2: honor your father & mother which is the first Pr. 30.11: There is a generation that curses its father & does not bless its mother Lev. 19.3: Every one of you shall revere his mother & his father
Potential Thunderclouds
In-Laws Action: 1 Tim 5.4-8: if anychildren or grandchildren, let them first learn to showrepayacceptable to Goddoes not provide for his owndenied the (Cf. Mt. 15.4-6) Insight: Provide for your parents financially, physicallyit testifies of the faith we have in Christ
Potential Thunderclouds
In-Laws Approach: Teach the children to honor: grandchildrento repayacceptable to God (1 Tim. 5.4-8) Differences: Unsaved parents (still honor, not repeat with discretion) Saved parents (still honor, may repeat with discretion)
Potential Thunderclouds
In-Laws Approach: Influence: In your marriage Take your stand with the Scriptures i.e. if parental counsel/influence/advice is contrary to Scripturestand with the Word Distance: Sometimes distance is a good thing to allow your own marital identity to mature
Potential Thunderclouds
In-Laws Approach: Influence: On your children: Take your stand with the Word with honor Dont be overly reactive Communicate your limits respectfully; give alternatives (e.g. sugar free gum; movie options; etc.) Detox wont kill you nor the kids
Potential Thunderclouds
Parenting Children: When, how many, how often talk about it Parenting: Mutual parent support: Back each other up; disagree privately Dads role; honor each other publicly Communicate with one another Consistency: Say what you mean & do what you say
Potential Thunderclouds
Parenting Parenting: Train for obedience: Immediately, thoroughly, consistently and cheerfully Aim for the heart: Gradual switch from obedience from fear of consequence to obedience from a spontaneously willing heart Cultivate the concept of trust: The main fiber of all relationships