12 Ways to Keep Your Family SAFE (Secure, Authentic, Fun, Encouraging)

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Prov. 22:6)

Most Dads
Want to protect and provide for their children.
Good dads provide a safe home for their children and

their childrens mother by protecting them from violence and abuse. Most domestic violence happens to men and women who grew up in homes that were violent. By modeling a loving, caring environment, fathers can reduce the risk that their children will grow up to be violent or victims of abuse.

12 Ways to Grow a Safe Home

Value the Mother of Your

Teach Your Children Early

Children Know what Boys and Girls Need to Learn from Their Father Teach Values to Your Children Model Proper Ways to Handle Conflict Take Responsibility for Your Words and Actions

and Often about Healthy Relationships Show Love Teach Your Children to See Things through the Eyes of Others Teach Your Children How to Cooperate Practice Compassion Learn From Your Past Look Forward to the Dad and Helpmate You Will Be

Value the Mother of Your Children

Proverbs 31:30c.-31 But a woman who honors the Lord

deserved to be praised. Show her respect praise her in public for what she has done. You are a picture of what family is. How you talk to the mother of your children is how your children learn to treat women in general. And words arent enough, actions speak louder than words

Know that Boys and Girls Need to Learn from Their Father
By watching you: Boys learn how to be men Girls learn how to be treated by men If you son knows his real worth to you, he will learn

what real manhood means. As a good father, you will be the first man to pursue your daughters heart. Sons and daughters learn to be husbands and wives from watching fathers and mothers.

Teach Your Children Values

Children Learn What You Live. Values & Behavior are gifts you give through modeling

Bad behavior shapes your kids values also

Do as I say AND as I do Follow me as I follow Christ. (1 Corinthians 1:11)

Values are caught rather than taught.

Model Proper Ways to Handle Conflict

Handle your emotions and behaviors Communicate with respect and fairness

Keep the goal of making the situation better in view

Violence is never the answer Value and respect the views of your family members

Resolve conflicts by working with mom and children

as a team.

Take Responsibility for Your Words and Actions

People are responsible for their own words and actions
You and your childrens mother both have a role in starting

conflict and in resolving it. When you learn which words and actions hurt each other, it will help you both learn how avoid and resolve future conflicts. The power of life and death is in the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21) The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of ones life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6)

Fire Starters and Fire Dousers

You!
You always. You never.

Using I language
When you do (say) ____,

You make me feel.

25 years ago, you said. Not keeping to the

conflict at hand. Blame shifting

I feel I am sorry. That is my fault. Limiting discussion to the present conflict A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Teach Your Children Early and Often about Healthy Relationships

Ask questions about your childrens relationships with

others. Be direct in your advice to them. Make sure that others (friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, other adults) treat your children with the respect they deserve. Make sure children give others their rightful respect.

Show Love
When you show love and respect, your children will

feel more secure. Do special things with mom, do special things with each of your children. Say the words, I love you each and every day. Daily hugs, kisses, and affirming words fill our tank. Fill their tanks every day.

Teach Your Children How to See Things Through the Eyes of Others
Teach your children how to respect the views of other

people, even when they disagree. Empathy and understanding keeps arguments from turning into fights at home. The Golden Rule works: Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31)

Teach Your Children How to Cooperate

Working with others is vital to solving problems, and

completing tasks that require planning. Playing games with your children is a great way to teach cooperation. Working with mom on family schedules, everyday problems and conflicts is good practice.

Practice Compassion
When the mother of your children has pain, anxiety or

other challenges, be willing to offer help without control through compassion, sympathy and protectiveness. Showing the difference between helping and controlling will teach your children a valuable lesson No quid pro quo. "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. (Luke 6:32)

Learn from Your Past

The way your dad treated you, or did not treat you, has

shaped you into the kind of dad you are. Be aware of how you were treated affects the way you treat your children and their mother. Learn from the good and bad lessons you received. Having this understanding will serve as the starting place to learn new ways to handle and resolve conflict.

Look Forward to the Dad and Helpmate You Will Be

Even if you have made mistakes in the past, you can

change. You setbacks are getting you prepared for your comeback! Make a decision to line up with Gods plan for your fatherhood, let God be a Father to you. The beginning is to become a son of the Father; the Holy Spirit will teach you all things, and guide you into all truth. (John 16:13) .Including getting professional help.

Last Word