SMTP ake Pulp.THE | WORKS PETRONIUS ARBITER, Tranflated by feveral Hands. ||With a KEY by a Perfon of .Honour,| AND ALSO His Lire and CHARACTER, | By Monfieur St, EVREMONT. . . Che Fourth Coition. To which is added, Some other of the Roman Posts, viz. Ce , - tullus, Tibullus and Propertive. And Tranflations|.| - from ‘the GREEK of Pindar, Anacreon and Sappho, ry With a Poem on TELEMACHUS, By the Duke of Devonsuirez; Andan Essay on PoeTRy, by: Jounx Duke of Buckinenam.| The whole Adorn’d with CUTS. [ LONDON, Primed for Sams Buteco, and Soldiby F. Morphew near Stationers-Hall, and Fa, Wasdward in Scald ‘Alley, againlt Stocks-Market. 1713.Si 0G 0 ee Su suse SSE SSG ue pa Oncerning the Difseulty of ‘Tran. US) flating this Author I fhall fay exit | nothing, tho’ the French Trane eB) flator has beftow'd half bis Preface to enforce it, becaufe if the Diffeulty was greater than the Undertakers could well 80 through with, or vanquifh with Reputa; tion, the Infamy is not leffen'd, but their Folly much magnify d. Befides, this Ver, fion bas already been receiv'd with fuch fuc- cefs, that the Book{eller bas thought it worth his while to venture a new Impreffion, by fe- veral Hands: In fort, both the Profe and Verfe is fo much improv'd, that this may juft- by be [aid to be wholly new; befides a Third Part never before made Englifh. . Having faid in few wards all that was nes ceffary as to the Tranflation, I fhall come to the main point of this Péaludium, which és, to remove fome Reflettions on the Original ; a 2 andThe Prerace. and to give fome few Remarks upon its Author. There are fome People that are prepoffe{s'd with a Prejudice againft the Works of Petro. nius Arbiter, not from their own Reading, or Kiowledge of the Matter, but from a fort of traditional Calumny, that the Devotees have rais d againft him. But fuch I defire to per- ufe the Life of Petronius without prejudice, and what I bere {hall offer in bis Defence a- Sainft thofe Cenfures which unfair Criticks or grofs Ignorance have lad upon him. We bave nothing to fear from any Charge on the Defect of his Wit, and the Purity of bis Stile, his Fame for that is but too well efta- blfi'd all Europe over, and bis Party every where too numerous to apprebend an Attaque "from that fide, for I may venture to affert, that Petronius is not much lefs admiy’dnow, than be was in ancient Rome; for our Age, by an admirable circulation of Temper, bas very much of that of the time in which our Author liv'd, and of which be has left us fo agreeable a Draught. This general Inclination to Petronius is not confin'd to thofe learned Men of my Ac- quaintance, but reaches all {uch who have e- per difcover'd any ju/t clam to Knowledge andThe Prerace and a good Tafte; becaufe there is a fort of particular Sympathy betwixt thofe Perfons of Quality who love Petronius, and the Know. ledge of the Belle Lettres. For be, of all the Ancients, feems only to have known, and to have had a Tajte of that true Gallantry, which at this time finifhes the Charatter of Politene/s, With fuch Addrefs he attaques the Defeéts of the Underftanding and Wit,-or the Frailties of the EXeart, in that Painting which be bas loft us of the Manners of bis Age, that he every where keeps up his Force and B- nergy, according to the different Charaéters of his Perfons introducd. ‘Thefe and bis other admirable Qualities gave bim fuch a Value with the Prince of Conde, a Man of Spirit and Wit, that he maintain’d feveral Learned Gentlemen to read Petronius to him, . But to omit nothing that is neceffary to compleat the Defence of our Author, we muff enquire further than in bis Life, into the Spirit with which he wrote this Satyx, what Defign he bad, and bow be bas execu- ted that Defign, The Men of Wit among the Greeks and Romans. always affum'd the Principle of that Sect. of Philofophy . A3Z.. whichThe PReFace which was moft agreeable to bis Temper and Genius. AW the Authors that have wrote of Petroniiss, affure us, that he was of the Seét of Epicurus, which Opinion they found an feveral Paffages of bis Satyricon, which feem agreeable to the Doctrine of that Phi- fofopher. But that is but a Problema. tick Opinion, for from the very fame Rea- jon we may conclude, that be was of all and every one of the Sets; becaufe we find all their different Opinions in bis Works : The cnly Proof this gives as, is, that his Wie bov'd to indulge it felf witha Liberty in Writing. cae ~ But fuppofe that he was an Epicurean, ‘we ought not to look on him with an Eye of that Injultice, which the Vulgar generally doon Epicutus himfelf, whofe Sentiments: are much more pure than is commonly ima- vind. The Morals of that Philofopher draw their Principles from Right Reafon ; and be. was. far from the ufual imputed Abfurdi- ties of paffing bis Life in a perpetual De- bauch: On the contrary, he obferv’d fuch adeverity in bis Pleafures, in bis Endea- vours to deliver Mankind from the tyranny of the Paffions, that ‘Seneca was oblig’d toThe Preracs fay much to the advantage of that Philofo. pher, That he had given his Followers . not one Precept, but what was confor. mable to Honefty and Juttice. This Teftimony which Seneca. (who was “bimfelf a Stoic by Profeffion) gave bim, was a Condemnation of the Seét oppofite to E- picurus, and fuffciently difcover'd their Va- nity. For the Principles of the Stoics, which would be admirable in the Mouth of-a Chriftian, are entirely ridiculous in that of thofe Philofopbers ; Nor can: that Moral claim any Advantage, which- dethrones, as I — may fay, the Divinity, and fets Man in the Seat of Jupiter, thofe who held, that Pain was a Good, and Pleafure-an Evil, and who divetted our whole Lives through Pain and Aufterity, bad only exceffive Pride for their Virtue, and for their fapream Good nothing but a.vain Name, and-Chimeri- cal Glory : Inflead of which, the Morals of Epicurus were founded on good Senfe, which taught the Pagans, that the foveraign Good was to have a long Life with Indo- lence and Pleafure. a Since it is by no means reafonable to expect a Chriftian in the. Per fon of Petronius, we. - A4 ought_ The Prerace ought to be fatisfy'd if we find him an ho: neft Pagan ; 2 Man of good Senfe, who reafon'd and lid according to the true Prin- ciples of Natural Knowledge, which leaves neither room for Hope or ‘Tranfgref- fion. The manner of bis Death alone may jopifie this Opinion. His Death, indeed, is the moft noble of any of all thofe, which Antiquity fo much admires. In it you cannot find either Fear, or AffeCtation, Defpair, or Pride. Tacitus, very near bis time, defcribes him to us dying with the fame Tranquility in which be li’d. The Deaths ‘of Socrates, and that of Cato of Utica, which are the two moft celebrated of thofe Ages, in no meafure approach that of Pe- ‘tronius. The great Philofophical Dif- courfes which the firft made, and the Trea- tife of the Immortality of the Soul, which the other more than once had recourfe to, only fhew us bow they were oblig’d to put off that Terror, which their approaching Fates advane'd. dt is remarkable, that Tacitus does not venture to fay, that Pecronius was a Volup- _ tuary 5 but only, that be adapted his Con- duét to his defire of pleafing the Emperour ; : andThe Prerace, and we can much lefs conclude, that bis Man- ners were corrupt, becaufe he drew the De- bocheries of Nero and his Court. If we give our felves leave to refleét, that this man- “ner of Writing was the Mode of the Age he liv’d in, and that be gave himfelf the Air ‘of a fevere Philofopher, who with Free dom lays open the Vices of bis Times, and explains é'ry thing by its Name , as Cice- ro, in bis familiar Epiftles, fays of the Stoics, Placet Stoicis {uo quamque: rem - nomine appellare. And the fame Cu- ftom in the greateft part of the Authors, who have wrote in bis way, ought to con- vince Pofterity, that they ought to entertain no fufpicion of bis Libertinifm. Thus Martial fay:, Lafciva eft nobis pagina vita proba, that if his Epigrams had the Air of Debochery, yet his Life was re- gular. And Catullus almoft to the fame. purpofe affures us. Nam caftum decet effe pium Poetam Ipfum; Verficulis nihil neceffe eft. That it is of no manner of neceflity that the Poet’s Verfes be chafte, provided So . hisThe Prerace. his Life be fo, And Petronius him/elf, be- ing apprebenfive that bis Writings might in- cur fome fuch Cenfures in bis Time, prevents their Objection in a manner, that fhou'd in- form them, that be Wrote not by a Spirit of Corruption, but by the difguft of a Court Philofopher ; who had been offended by the Diforders of the Emperour and bis Fa- vourites, whom he expofes to their own View in a moft Satyrical manner. And this 4s fo plain, that in bis moft lively Delcripti- ons of their Debaucheries, he fo qualifies and fweetens the Images by the Terms and Exprefions, .that at firft Modefty cannot be hook by its and be employs:none of thofe grols Words which the Authors we bave named are é'ry where full-of, and which the Latin Tongue allows a certain liberty of ufing, tho’ the Modefly of our Language will not permit it, ‘Tho Fulgentius tells us, that he wrote feveral Books, particularly one call d Eulci- us or Eultois, a Tra againft a-certain Ad- vocate, whom be calls Cerberus Forenfis ; and a Poem, entituled, Albucia, againft bis Rivals ia a Lady of that Name, with whom be was very much in Love 3 but-this. Satyr againftThe Prerace, againft Nero is all that the injuryof Times has left ws. This way of agreeably mixing Profe and Verfe was invented by Varro, which, as Aulus Gellius informs us, be call'd Menippean, from Menippus the Cynic Philofopher; becaufe Menippus, before, bim had treated of things ferious in a bur. lefque or bantering ftile or manner. This Kind was calPd noixt Satyr, to diftinguifh it from the Satyrs in equal Verle. We have een in the foregoing Age, in France, a Me- nippean Satyr; an Author of that time ba- ving defcrib’ d the Corruptions of the Court of Henry IIL. in an Allegoric Fiiftory, call d, The Ifles of the Hermaphrodites, It is therefore plain enough, that this Piece of Petronius is a Spectes of Roman Satyr, which gives us a Draught of Rome, or rather of the.Court of Nexo, of bis proper Perfon, and loofe and abandow'd Life. But Fortune permitting not this admirable Piece to come down to us entire, we have from-time to time made riew difcoveries of parts of it in fhort, this valuable. Treatife came to us only by piece-meal ; and webave had from pure Antiquity handed down to us only fome par- ticular Fragments, which were prefery'd by theThe Prerace. the Studions, feletted ont of fuch places as pleas'd them beft. In proces of time, about Forty or Fifty Years fince, the Story of Tri- malchio’s Feaf was made perfect by the Fragments found in Dalmatia; at laf?, at _ the taking of Belgrade, we got the ref, which made the whole Work compleat, as it now appears in she Englifh Tongue. Is there any thing among all the Latin Authors near fo fine as the Hiftory of the Ephefian Matron? or any thing comparable to the Letters of Circe and Polyenos? or any thing better turn’d, or more gallant, than the Converfation and Addrefs of that Lady, both in ker Difappointment and Joy? And where can we find aConfidant more accom- pli(?'d than Chrifis? She may be an Exam. ple to all her Profefion even to our days. Her firft Converfation with Polyenos is wonderfully ravifhing, but the Simplicity and Naviety is not to be imitated. All the Learned agree, That this Roman Satyr is in its kind the moft valuable Re- mains of Antiquity. It is a furprizing thing to find what an extent of Wit the Au- thor bas difcover'd; and bow be bas given us fo many different Characters. When he is ~— DeclaimeThe Preraceg. Declaiming, you fee all the Air and Stile of a Declamator 5 when he Philofophizes, he is fententious, and gives us charming Moral Reflections; when he plays the Poet, we can find no Verfes to compare with his. There never was a Rapfody fo. pleafantly put together, as whatever he puts into the Mouths of his Speakers: The Debochee ery where maintains bis Charatter, and the Whores are always of a Piece : The Freed. men always fpeak like Men without Edu- cation; and the Slaves ne'r lift their Thoughts or . Exprefiions above the bumble level of their Condition ; The Lovers fpeak with equal Gallantry and Tendernefs, In fort, he fuftains the Characters of all forts of People with fo univerfal a Genius, as Petronius Arbiter ; and fills bis Satyr with a vaft variety of agreeable Images judi- cionfly difposd. After what we have faid, it is no wonder to find fo many Authors {peaking of bim with fuch Applaufe; We find Tacitus a trae Fudge of Merit, giving Petronius a great deal. Pliny, Terentianus Maurus, Plutarch, St. Jerome, Macrobius, Sidonius, Apol- linaris, Ifidore of Seville, Petrus Crinitus, Turne.The Preface, | Turnebius, Scaliger, Juftus Lipfius, Cae faubon, and many other Authors of the fore- moft Rank, have celebrated the Prailes of Petronius Arbiter. Above thirty Grammarians of all Nati: ons have made Comments spon this Satyr, tho’ it muft be freely own'd, that the greate/t part of them bave by no means been able to penetrate into. the diffcult places of him, which they have endeavour'd to explain; nay, they have render'd_feveral of them more ob- fenre than they found °em in their Author : They often run their Conjecture fo far, that like an Ignis facuus, they but lead you quite out of your way. There are another fort of Learned Men, who have taken a Fancy to prove, that the Pecronius mention d by Tacitus, was not the Petronius who wrote the Satyr under our confideration ; and, that it was not wrote on the Court of Nero: But certainly thefe Men of Leicers have fufpended their Pene. tration while they have been veading this Au- thor, when they con'd doubt ofa thing fo evident as this; for we every where through the whole Saryt difcover, and plainly fee the agreement with the Manners of Nero, the CaftomsThe Prerace, Cuftoms of thofe Times. We bere find Se. neca, Lucan, Silia, and the Emperour’s. Freed-men, This you will more plainly: fee by the Key to the Names of the Perlons of this Satyr. But Tacitus bimfelf points. out this Satyr, when be mentions the Book fent Nero by Pettonius juj? before bis Death , for be fays, ovr Author defcrib'd una der the borrow’d Names Debochees, aban don’'d Women, and the Vices of that Prince; as is binted in the Life of Petronius, As. for bis calling him C. Petronius, it was 2 Miftake of the firft or later Tranferibers, in putting aC, for aT, which is plain from a Paffage of Plutarch to this purpofe—~ As whenever you reproach Debochees. with their Infamy, as Titus Petronins did, Nero, And by this other of Pliny ———. Titus Petronins a Man of Confular Dig- nity, on the point of Death, by reafon of the Hatred which Nero bore him. But we no where find any mention of two Petronius’s in the time of that Emperor, and much lefs can we make two of the Name, who loft their Lives by the Hate of Nero. "Tis therefore evident, that the Petronius mention'd by Tacitus was oe Titus,The Preracn Titus, fince it is confirm’d by Plutarch and Pliny. But Petronius, and the Poets we have nam d, are not the only People who have made ufe of fuch a liberty .of Stile ; But - we may juftifie their Prattice by the Exam- pleof many grave Authors, as the Mode of the Age. . Let us caft an Eye to Sueto.. nius, Dion Caffius, Lampridius, Oro-. fius, Xiphilin, who all take. a pleafure to paint in lively Colours the Vices of Nero,: Domitian, Heliogabalus, all whofe Pi- Elares they bave left as. If I foould pufh this Defence farther in this particular, it is no dificult matter to prove, that the very Fathers of the Church fometimes fpeak the fame Language, and imploy fuch Figures, Images, and Ex-. preflions, as feem moft proper to infpive a Horrour of Vice. E Veneno Salus, TheOF Perronius ARBITER Written by Monfieut St. Evremont; FMade Cray by Mr. The, Brown, Vrs Perronius wasa Reman Knight, des feender! from that Braach ofthe Fimify . of the Perroaias’s, which derird thelr Original froma the Sabizes, and who gave fo many great Mca to the Service of the Roman Republick. We cannot douse bue he was brought. up with the fame pradear Care chat they then‘employ’d ac Ruime, is the Education of Children of Quality, and that tis Genins was continually exerct’d aad‘cul:ivated i the ate fatamentof polite Learning, cven from hisvery Youth; furia thofe things the Reman were 34 - trict and fevere as the Grech. Jerre c was alfo naturt ly amd more put cylarly iactiad” o the Study of good Literature; and it’saprir- os . a. entii The Life of ent that heexcell’d init, by the: Ingenuicy and’ Politenefs he has difcover’d in his Writings. . Whenhe had compleated himfelf in the firft Rudiments in Learning, he made his appearance at the Imperial Court of Claudiws, but his great Affiduity there was no Impediment to the chief defign of perfeding himfelf in the Liberal Sci~ ences, and therefore employ’d his Igiftre Hours in making Declamations, which was the cuftoin of thofe times, in order to exercife and enable their young Men ot the firft Quality to {peak in Pub- ‘lick, for’ which purpofe they had Scrools to De- claim in, and by this fuccefsful method, furnif’d themfelves with fo many famous Oratours, both in their Senate and Armies; to the great advantage of their Republick. . The Court,of Claudius was then the very Seat or Manfion of Pleafures; for the Emprefs Mdeffa- ina employ’d all her Cares gnd-Thoughts to make it fo, in accommodating it with all imaginable Delights and Recreations, which fhe more eafily accomplifh’d, by having a great Afcendant over the Perfon and Inclinations of the' Emperor 3 for hebeing a weak Prince, comply’d with every thing, provided they accommodated him witha ’ plentiful Table, for he was an extreme lover of ' ~ good Rating, and of drinking Wine even to ex- cef§; and his Courtiers following the Example of their Prince, Debauchery was no lefs familiar with them. : : Petrowius becoming a Courtier under a Reign where the manner of living was agreeable to his ‘Temper, he alfo became infenfibly Voluptuous; tho” at the fame time it was obferv’d, that he took no delight inthe brutal Pleafures of Love, like Mefakina, nor in thofe of the Table and Drunkennefs with Clsudivs5 only in a gallant and delicate ‘manner took arelifh of both, rather to gratifie his Curiofity than his Seafes. In this mannerPetronius Arbiter. ili imanner he employ'd a part of the Day in Sleep- ing, and dedicated the. whole Night to Pleafure and Bufinefs. His Houfe was the Rendezvous of | the better fort of the People of Rome: He pafs’d ‘away his time agreeably with thofe that vifitéd ‘him, and with others was celebrated for Jutrigues, Petronius alfo procus’d himfelf a Reputation by an agreeable Employment, and in a method of a@- ing eafily, readily and freely, and his natural way of difcourfing. One might then reprefent him in a continual exercife of Wit in Converfation, in the moft charming Pleafuresot the Table, pub- blick Sights, Gaming, and in {pending his Eftate, ‘not like a Prodigaland Debaofhee, but likea nice ‘and learned Aruft in the Science of Voluptuouf- nefs. , oY - When Petronias had thus pafe'd away his Youth, ina Life of fo much Softnefs and Tranquility, he took a Refolution, to convince’ thoie that doubted of the extent of his Mind and Qualifica= tions, that he was capable of the firft and chiefeit Employments in the Government; for putting an Interval to lis Pleafures, he accepted the Of fice of Pre-Conful OF Bithyaia; went into that Pro- Yincé, Where he difcharg’d all the Duties of hig Placed with great Applaufe; bue having put a Werisd to that exercife of his Parts, and returding ‘ame, Nero, who fucceeded Claudius in the Expire, in recompence of the Services, made him Conful. This new Dignity gave him a great and keady Accefs té the Emperor, who at firft hon- our’d hit with hisBfteem, and afterwards with his Prieudihip, in acknowledgment of the fump- tuons- Entertainments he fometimes gave that Friace, to.refrefh him when fatigued with Bufi- nels, 42° TheEEE iv_ The Life of The time of Petronivs’s Confulate being” come , to a Conciufion, after having laboured in qneft of Glo ary, withont quitting the Court, . he reats fum’d bis firft meaner of living, and whether in= Pro acceded on his own Incliaation,or a “telire to tie ne foon became one oth: Be nperor’s * ceable to", AiUSy $ psa of the "autho nity of dee’, ht be acceptable, gave him the - ry as Deiig Mafter aad Co trollerin thofe Aifairs. Kero, in the frit pet of his Reiga, afted likes a very wife Prisce, and apply’d himfelf with, care to the Government of the State: However” Petronius renembred, that he was naturally in-; clin’d to Luft dnd Senfuality, and therefore likes anable Politician, being in poffeflion of his Pria-4 ce’s Mind, he feafon’d it with honeft Delights, aad- -pracur *d him all the Charms imaginable, in, order toremove the thoughts of {eeking aftert others, which peradventare would have been! more Ciorderly, and to be dreaded by the Re * Thin 198 contian’d in this pofture while the! Emperor kept within thebounds of Moderation, d ed chearfully under him, as Jv} Pleafures, ordering him Shows, Games, Comedies, Mufick, Feafts, pleafant Seats, in the Conatry, with delicious Gardens, charm-; ing Lakes, and all th at mig sht contribute towards mperor fome time after complying 2LaFe, chane’d hisCondu®, not only: Goversing the Enipire, but alfo int is owa Perfo. He gare ear to the! her than thofe of Petronius; nto Debauchery, abandon’d. himfeliPetronius Arbiter. -¥ bimfelf to his PaMions, and became as morofe and wicked aFrince,as before he had been pleafant and ccuitable. . Rao was a learned Prince, of which he had a feticient, Proofs from his Youth 5 fer at contastd ane much embaratyd. feallo lowd Men of Wit, and had Ccurtiers rear kim, who fcilowirg the’ corruption of the Conic, treated Svzeer like a Pedant, and could 1 fufler that he-fhould Preach to them the x- cacife of Vertue and Modefty, because they had imbib’d an Gpinion, that he hinvelf did not live Uhea Peiloforker in that particular: Fhus continuing iequently to yidicule him, ic at length infianated isto the Ber peror’s Mind, and expos’d him to his Contempt, which being joy’d with hisown Knowledge of the unjait ways by which he had acquiv’d the ismeife Riches he was poffeld of, his Coutempr grew futo Hatred, audhis Hate ac lat caused the Ruin of Seneca oO And now indeed Perrosies faw with forrow, that the Emperor began to hide bim&lE won, him, aad fometimes to then him, end chit, ale lowing his own corrupt Inclinations, he was ‘growu utrerly debaucl’d, and forgot what he ow’d to his Imperial Dignity, that he would frequently ran wild upand down the Strects, |and into wicked Places, outraging all he met, and | would alfo offer Violeacies to Rerun Ladies of the bef Quality, . The Favour to which Petronius was rais’d had alfo drawn upon him the Jcaloufe of thote who pretended, as well a8 be,to the Grace and Favour of the Prince, and, among others, thatot Ts. . gillinus, Captain of the Guards, who was a date a3 gZcTousvi The Life of gerous Rival. This Maa, of obfcure Birth and corrupt Manners, had ina fhort time acquir’d a great power over the Hmperor’s Genius, and as he perfe@ly knew his blind fide, began ferioully to contrive the Ruin of his Competitor, and by fuch means, as "twas. thonght would alfo have ceftroy’d the Empire. : . The choice and delicious Pleafures invented by _Petronius grated the grofs Debauches of Tigillinn:, and forefeeing that the Credit Pretronius had with the Emperor would always be an Odftacle to his Defigns, he therefore endcavour’d to roflels himfelf of the Heart of the Prince ; and findiag himfelf prevail by degrees, he foon engag’d him inthe foulef& Brutalitces, Ir’strue, "twas ho difficult thing to fecceed in this attempt, for finding a Nature wholly dif posd, he quickly, and with little trouble, fe- duc’d him to embrace fuch Pleafures, as were neither approv'd nor advis’d by Petromius, which were entirely dropt in order to remove his Ri- val; for Nero had already conimitted Parricide, by murdering his Mother, and no fooner heark- en’d to the Perfrafionsof Tigellinus, but he figna- liz'd his Power, by putting Sylle and Rubellins Plautusto death, who were both Perfons dreaded by them for their celebrated Vertues, and being. highly efteemed and in favour with the People. _ Afterwards, Furyand Brutality render’d them felves Miftreffes of bis Heart to fach an excels, that all manner of Cyimes were perpetrated by im. - - Whes the Emperor had confirm’d himfelf in thefé Diforders, our aucient Favourite, by the Artifices of the new one, found himfelt almoft without Employment near the Prince, and Nero himfelf could not endure fo nice a Witnefs of his dnfamias, nor give him fo free an entrance into his’ Pleafures as he formerly enjoy’d. Tis,Petronius Arbiter, - vii ” ‘Tigillinus ferving himfelf of thefe Difpofitions, ” omittéd nothing that might fatisfie the Deftres of his Prince, by the magnificent Feaits he provid- ed; and as his Rival (according to Tacitus) much furpaf’d himin the Science of Pleafures, one. might conclude, without fear of being deceiv’d, that thofe which Petronius order’d were of another Nature, and had nothing of thofe diforders in them that were feen in one of the Fealts which that Hiftorian relates as an Example of all the reft,waich he defcribes in this manner: They pre- vided a ftately Peaft on the Lake of Agrippa; ina Veffel cover’d with Plates of Gold and Ivory; the Rowers were ‘plac’ in their Ranks, which they took according to their Age.and “Experience in Debauchery. They had fent to the very ends of the Harth for the rareft Batables. The Lake was ede’d with Porches, in which were great num- bers of Chambers, fil’d on one fide with Women of Quality, who proftituted themfelves to the fir comers,and the other with naked Courtizans ‘in a thoufand lafcivious poftures; at Nightap- pear’d ia all parts furprizing Illuminations, the Woods and Palaces round‘ about ecchoed with Conforts of Mulical Inftruments and Songs adapt- ed tothe Feaft. To conclude this grand Debauch ina famous Action, Nero was married a little af- ter, to one of the moft corrupted Wretches of this Troop, named Pythagora, and that publickly, with all the accuftom’d Ceremonies.’ They put . upon the Emperor’s Head the Efpoufed’s Vail, sent him two Aufpices, affign’d him.the Marriage- Portion, adorn’d the Nuptial Bed, lighted Blame - beaux, and to conclude the Marriage, permitted that to be feen to the open view, of all the Com- pany, «which the Shades of Night hide from the, Eyes in the molt lawful Pleafures.. a4 | Pejre-vii The. Life of Petronius being extremel y dif gufted at thelor? rours ke faw, invenfisly «iti ex himfelf from Court, and heir ing of a mild and. nienter prizing Nature, faffer *d things to run in the train they aticmpting to re-eftablifh shad ler them. iouno€ oer. tire that he took his Pen in Hand to compare this Sen7, which fo refents the Nature and “CharaGer of nd fonder the Namesof Lehauehees dnd , decry" all'the Vices of this Prince vl ‘rom nal pont ibility aps favonr: td knowing that the Proce Ne ewas inclining to Cuelty,, he ine finuared, that Pe was foo familiar with , not to bedipt in Fifo’s Confsiracy; and cad having, fuborn’d ove cr betronines 2a ft his Mafter, to deprive him g shimfelé, they puttae , grat por of his! Bowe icksin Fi Estas rs for the Vicious sannot = of fuck? Sy hots fight. abeminabic Pradticess ’dthe Adcufation ae ito be apprehend. r made a Voyage reproach nes thes therefore F fave gainft Petrerin ed at Cure, whea the Emp thither, where he wasoue ofthe Company: But as it requir'd forme time to deliberate, whether they ought to-pura Man of bis-c sufideration to Death, without clearer Ficufs béing guilty - of the Crimes he feed charg’d witit; he was fo. + extreamly difgulted, and alfo weary aPliving one der the Deminatioa of fuch a detcfable . Brine, . . » thas 4,300 eiderd h“4+ Petronius Arbiter. ix. that fecing himfelf fo long a time made the Sport of his Capriccs, he refolv’d to " wourite. i Hermeros, a very impudent Freed-man of Tris malchios. : Habinnas, an inferiour Magiftrate, who, accoms panied by his wife, went toTrimalchioat the latter’ endof the Repaft, with attendance; and in the- Majelty of Prator, as one who defign'd to build a Meufoleum, of which he had laid the Plan accords _ ing to his Genius: Whichis 4 piquant piece of Raillery, defign’d by the Author to {coff at Nero's intentions, to eret an Eternal Monument to his own Memory. . . Scintilla, Wife of Habinnas, under which appell- ation you have a Charaéter of thofe fuperficial Women, that have no folidity in them. ; , . Eumeler ; . . A KEY _ Eumolpasybéfides bis being a Poet, and in a fore Jorn Equipage, was a great Debofhee, and had fuffered many Difgraces uader this Name; the Author reprefents the managemement of Nero ia making Verfes, in which he was fo ftrongly con- ceited of his ownAbilities, that he put to death all that fucceeded in that Art, better than himfelf. Another Bnd was, to give himfelf the liberty of reprefenting Nero under different Characters, alt ridiculous, and under different Names, the prin: cipal whereof were Trimalchio. Eumolpis, and Po» AUS, y Corax, Servant to Ewmolpus, , Lycas, Captain of the Ship, a very debauch’d Perfon, who provok’d the Anger of the Gods. Doris, Wife of Lyca: and Miftrefs of Excolpizs. Tryphena, a perfedtly fine Courtizan, belov’d of Lycas, and to-whom there happen’d pleafant Ads | ventures with Encolpins and Gito. ‘ Efiws, a Paffenger in the Ship commanded by Lycas,who caus’d.all the troubles that befel them. Polyanos, a Name taken by Encolpius, difguifed like a Slave in Crotoza under which.Name Pe- tronius defcribesan Adventure that happen’d to Nero with a Roman Lady, The Character of Polye- aos is extremely fine; and might have done Nero honour, ifthe Author had not firft reprefented * him under the vile Perfon of a Slave, which part this Emperour often acted, ia running about the - Streets ‘in the Night, and frequenting infamous Places, which fhew’d his Impuiffance, and doubt- lefs, was a great mortification to him, to find his Weakneffes in this kind fo openly difcovered.” Further we have reafonto believe, that Petro- nins alfo fhew’d how eafily he cowd embellifh his Work, and doshimfelf Honour by his excellent Wit, which fhines in all thefe incdmparable De= fcriptions. : : . Girce,. 4 Lady of Crotona, amorous of Polya, _ OFA KEY: by whom it may be reafonah'y conjetur’d,’ that ‘the Author. would-be uaderfload of Sta, a Roma. Lady,who was married to a Sezator, and banift’d, as you heard already ia the Life of Perrovius, une der fufpicion of revealing Nere’s Secrets; out of grief for what happew’d to the Auchor - For if this Priace drowa’d in Rebruchery, and who, without fhame, made himfifa Spectacle of con- tempt in the midit of Rene, conld ke conceri’d to fee his Pleaftres tura’d to Rid ‘cule ta this Satyr; there is great appearance, that toc Pidure of his Weaknefs ta this Inflauce touch’d him moft fentie bly; and by confequence, that the Adventure had rather relation to Silia, than any other. Chryfs, Waitinz-woman to Cirze,and her Confi- dent.This Name is Greek, sid figaifics Doreaor fine, an Epithet given to:Verus,and was voluatas rily taken by the ancient Courtiz2ns. Frojelenos, a Sorcerer, that Chrys led to Polyee nds. ; : “ Extothea,a Prieftels of Priapass ” ' Philumeta, another Lady cf Crotonia, who fomec times ferv'd her felf of her Beauty to get Viliters, and upon the Reputation of Ewzz-/pas’s being rich prefeated him with herSon and Daughter, wha were both very young and very handfome, thar they might profit by his good Jnftrnétions, Un this Name Eurmelpus, Petronius defcrittas Neva’s Wovitates Srupri, as Tacitus fays, new-invented ways cf Whoring aad Filthinef, . The Places where thefe Adventures pafs’d, are Naples and Crotora, under whofe Names the Aue thor chofe to draw the natural Portraiture of Rome, : THEInt PROSE and VE naa ‘WITH ‘The Fragments recover dat Bia, . in the Year 1 688. Mate Enel ly Mr: WILSON ofthe Middle. Temple, and Jeveral others, now refolv'd to be as good as my Word, being opportunely met; not only to improye our “Learning, but to make merry with pleafant Tales, and a free Converfation, . B Formerly promis’d you an Ace . : countof my Adventures, atidam ~ Pabricins.2° Th WORKS of Fabricius Vejento bas already, with a world of Wit, exposd the Juggle of Religion, and withdl difcover'd with what Impudence and Ignorance Priefs pretend to be infpir'd: But are not our wrangling Pleaders poflefs'd with the fame Frenzy, who harangue their Au- dience? -Thefe Wounds I receiv'd in defence of your Liberty ; this Eye was loft in your Service;.give me a Hand to lead me to my Children, for my wounded Hams are too feeble to fupport me. a Yet even this might pafs for tolerable, did it put young beginners in the leaft way to well-fpeaking: Whereas now, what with the irregular {welling of Matter, and the empty rattling of Words, they only gain this, That when they come to appear in publick; they think themfelves: in another World. - And therefore I look upon the young fry of Col- legiates as likely to make the moft promifing Blockheads, becaufe they neither hear nor fee any thing that is in ufe amongft Men: But a company of Pirates with Chains on the fhoar; . Tyrants iffuing Proclamations to make Chil- dren kill their Fathers; the Anfwers of Ora- cles in a Plague-time; that three or. more Virgins be facrific'd to appeafe the angr Gods; dainty fine Words.without any Sub- ftance, like a Dith prettily. garnifh’d. without any Meat in it, and every thing fo done, as if “twere all Spice and Garnith. - ‘Such as are thus bred can no more judge - aright, than thofe that live in a Kitchin not ftink of the Greafes Give me, with your fa- : : vour,Pérronius ARBITER. vott, leave to fay, ‘twas you fittt loft the 00d Grace of Speaking; for with light idle gingles of Words, to make fport; you have rought Oratoty to this, That the fabtance thereof is become invalid and effentitiate, Our Youth were itot confin’d to this way of declaiming when Sophocles and Enripides influenc’d the Age: Nor yet had any Gar- ret-Profeffor debauch'd theit Studies, when Pizdar and the riine Lyrick Poets dutft not attempt the inimitable Numbers of Homer : And that I may not detive my Authority from Poets only, ’tis certain neither Plato hor Démofthenes ever put in practice thefe affected Declamation$. Their chafte Ora- tions were neither ttrgid, painted, or adul-- terate, but had all the Ornaments and Charuis of a Natufal Beauty. : This windy and irtegular way of babling came lately out of Affz into Athens s and hia- ving, like fotne ill Planet, blalted the afpiring Genius of their Youth, at once corrupted and put a period to all true Elaquettce: After this, Who came up to the-height of Thueydides 2 Who reach’d the Fathe of Hjpe- sides? Nay, there was hardly a clean Verfe, but all were of the fame fttain, and died. with théir Author: Painting alfo had. the fame fate, after the boldnefs of the Egyptians ventur'd to bring fo great dn Art into Mi- ‘hiature. Ot ae At this and thie like rate T was’ ufion a time declaiming, when one Agamemnon made dp to us, and looking fharply on a Perfon B2 whom4 The WORKS of whom the Mob with fuch diligence gave attention to, he would not fuffer me to de- claim longer in the Portico, than he had {weated in the School; “But, young Man, “ faid he, becanfe your Difcourfe is beyond “ the common apprehenfion, and, which is * not often feen, that you are a lover of * Underftanding, I won't deceive you: The * Matters of thefe Schools are not to blame, “ who think it neceflary to be mad with “ mad Men: For unlefs they teach what “ their Scholars approve, they might, as “ Cicero fays, keep School to themfelves: “ like flattering Parafites, who wen they “ come to great Mens Tables, ftudy no- “ thing more than what they think may be “ moft agreeable to the Company, (being “ fenfible they thall never effect their De- “ figns, unlefs they firft charm the Ear) “ fo a Mafter of Eloquence, Fitherman-like, “ unlefS he firtt baits his Hook with what “ he knows the Fith will bite at, may wait “ Tong enough on the Rock without hopes © of catching any thing. . “ Where lies the Fault then? Parents “ ought to he tharply reprehended, who are “ unwilling their Children thould obferve a “ fri Method in their Studies; but in this, “as in all things elfe, they are fo fond of “ making a Noife in the World, and in fuch “ hafte to arrive at their Withes, that they “ hurry Youth into the Publick e’re they “have well digefted what they have read, Sand put Children, before they are paft . * theirPrerRontvus*ARBITER 5 * thei Sucking-bottle, into the Lifts of Elo.: quence; than which, by their own Con- “ feffion, nothing is harder to attain: “ Whereas if they would fuffer them to “come up by degrees, that their Studies “ might be temper'd with grave Lectures. “their Affections fafhion’d by the DiGates “ of Wifdom ; that they might work them- “ felves into a Maftery of Words; and “ for a long time hear, what they're in- © clind to imitate, nothing that pleasd “ Children wou’d be admird by them. “ But now Boys trifle in the Schools, young * Men are laugh'd at in Publick, and, © which is worfe than both, what ill Ha- “ bits are foolithly affum’d in. Youth, we “ refufe to acknowledge in Age. “And that I may not be thought to * have condema’d Lwciligs’s manner of Wri- “ting, I will alfo my felf give you my © Thoughts in Verfe. By Liberal Arts would you acquire Renown, _ Aad rife to Power by Honours of the Gown? Siri i your Life, of Converfation chafte, Far feove the Court with juft precaution bafte, The Hanghty Great but very rare attend, Nor drink too deeply to oblige a Friend. Let no foft Vows your blooming Youth engage, And flye the \u{cious Accents of the Stage, Whether the Bard of fair Brifeis Sings, Of ftern Pelides and the Fate of Kings, . B3 Or6 The WOR K S of Or wounded Gods, the ivemortal Veefe infpire Atrides Wrongs, or burwt Scamander’s Ire : Let Homer’s Mufe your carly Studies guide, Aad largely drink of that enchanting Tide. Next let Philofophy enplay your Thought, And Maxines lear the Wife Athenian * taught, From thence A frefh Career, with rapid Courfes run, And equal hie + oppos'd great Philip's Sow.. WhileI was wholly taken up with Agamem- vow, 1 did nat obferve how Afcgltos had given me the flip, and being ftill intent upon his Difcourfe, a great crowd of Scholars fill'd the Portico, to hear, (as it appear'd afterwards) an extemporary Declamation, of 1 know not: whom, that was defcanting on what dga- memnon had {aid ; while therefore they ridi- cul’d his Advice, and condemn’d the method of the whole, I took an opportunity of get- ting from them, and ran in quelt of Afcyltos s Bat the hurry I was in, with my ignorance where our Inn ftood, fo diftra&ed me, that what way foever I went, I return’d the fame, till tir'd in the purfwit, and all in-a {weat, T met an old Herb-woman: I befeech you Mother, fays 1, do you know ‘where~ abouts I dwelt 2 Pleas'd with the humour.of the queftion, Why frould I wot 2 anfwer'd’ fhe; ‘and rifing up, went on before me: 1 ® Socrates. + Demefthenese thoughtPerRonius ARBITER 7 thought her no lefs than a Witch: But ha- ving led me into a bye Lane, the threw off her Pyebal'd Patch’d Mantle, amd here, fays the, you can't want a Lodging. _As I was denying I knew the Houle, I ob- ferv'd a company of Beawx reading the Bills oer the Boxes, on which was infcrib’d the Name of the refpective Whore and her Prices and others of the fame Funétion naked, {cut- tling it here and there, as if they would not, yet would be feen: When too late I found mny felf in a Bawdy-houfe, curfing the Hag that had trapan‘d me thither, I cover'd my Face, and was ju making off through the midft of them, when in the very Entry 4- feyltos met me, but as tired as my felf, and in a manner dead; you'd have {worn the fame old Woman decoy'd him there. I could not forbear laughing, we faluted each other, and Task'd him what bufinefs he had in fo {candalous a place? he wip'd his Face, And if you knew, reply'd he, what bas happen’ to me As what, fays 1. He faintly reply'd; When I had rov'd the whole City without finding our Inn, the Majter of this Houfe came up to me, and obligingly proffer'd to be my Guides fo through many a crofs Lane and blind turning, baving brought me to this Houfe, be drew upon me, and preft'd to a clofer Ingagement. Tne this Afflittion the Whore of the Cell alfo demanded a Reward for the ufe of ber Apartments and that loofe Fellow laid fuch violent Hands " me, that bed I not been too Strong for bin, I had got the worft of it. firong for bin, oe PeEy The WOR KS of While Afeyltos was telling his Tale, in come the fame Fellow, with a Woman, none of the leaft agreeable, and, looking upon Afcylios, entreated him to walk in and fear nothing, for if he would not be Paffive he might be Active: Fhe Woman on the other hand prefs'd me to go in with her. We fol- Jow'd therefore,and being led among thofe lit. tle Apartments, we faw many of both Sexes imploy’d in the Boxes, * fo that we conclu- ded all of them had drank a Love Potion. * _ We were no fooner difcover'd, but they woud have attack’d us with the like Im- pudence, and in a trice one of their number with his Coat tuck'd under his Girdle, laid hold on 4fyltos, and having thrown him crofs a Couch, would have charg’d him in the rear: I prefently ran to help the under- moft, * and uniting our forces, we made No- thing of the troublefome Fool*. Afeyltos went off, and flying, left me expos'd to their Violence; but thanks to my Strength and Courage, 1 got off without Injury.’ ~~ Thad almoft traverft the City round,* when in the dusk of the Evening I faw Gito a€ the Bench of our Inn *; 1. placed my felf by him, and enquir'd what Afcyltos had:got us for Dinner? the Boy fittingdown, began to wipe away the Tears that {tood in his Eyes I was much conicern’d at it, and ask'd: him ‘the occafion; he was flow in ‘his anfwer, and feem'd unwilling to inform me; but mix- ing ‘Tbréats with my Entreaties, “Twas that Brother ox, Cousrogne of your's, faidshe, that cone ingPerronrus ARBITER, © 9 ing ere while into our’ Lodging, woit'd have viae Lated my Virtue: When I vy 4 ott, be drew his Sword, and if thon art a Lucrcece, faid he, thon haft met a Tarquin. [heard him, and pointing at Afcyltos, what fay'ft thou, thou Catamite,whofe very Breath is infections ? Afegltos at firtk pretended to be mightily forprizd, but prefently putting my Hand afide, in a higher Voice, cry'd out, Mut yax be prating, thou Lafcivious Cut-throat, *, who was condemn'd for uurdering thine Hoft *, and fevd only by the breaking of the Rope? You make a noife, you Night-Pad, whofe top Miftrifs was but aBawd. On what account did you and I heep Company formerly 2 Upon the fame,] fuppofe, theBoy isadusttted the honour of yourConverfation. And who but you, isterrapted I, gave me that flip in the Portico? Why, what a wife Maz of Gotham, continu'd he, muft I have -beete, where Iwas dying for bunger, to hear Senten- ces, forfooth, as much to the purpofe asthe ratling of broken Glaffes, or the expounding of Dreams? by Hercules, thow wert by wuch the greater Rogue of the two, who to get a meals Meat, did not blufp | io commend aninfipid Poet. When at laft, turn- ing from Scolding to Laughing, we begaf§o - be in a better humour, and to talk of-our Af- fairs with a little more fedatenefs. But a fenfe of the late Injury ftill fticking in my Stomach, Afeyltos, faid I, 1 find we hall never agree together, therefore let’s di- vide the common Stock, and each of us fet up for himfelf :-You area piece of a Scholar, vo : an10 The WORKS of and I'll be no hinderance to yqur Projeds, but think of fome other way; for otherwife “we fhall run into a thoufand Mifchiefs, and become fcandalous all over the Town. Afeyltos was not againft the Projects And ‘fince we have promis'd, faid be, as Scholars, to fup together, let's husband the Night too; and to worrowm I'l get we a new Lodging, and fome Comrade or other. / Tis Nonfenfe, faid I, to defer what we de- fire: I bad for a confiderable time Intentions to part with Afegltes, looking upon him as a Perfon who too narrowly obferv'd my Actions; but a ftronger Motive to ic was, that I might renew my old friendthip with Gito. Afeyltos taking the Affront, impatiently, without anfwering, flew away in a fury: I was too well acquainted with the weak- nefs of his Mind, and the violence of his Love, not to fear the effeds of fo fudden a breach, and therefore made after him, both to obferve his Defigns and to prevent thems but Jofing fight of him, I wasa long tiie in purfuit of him to no purpofe. When I had fearch’d the whole Town, | return’d to my Cellar, where, the Ceremo- nygpf Kiffes being over, I got my Boy to a cBbfer Enibrace, and enjoying my withes, . thought my felf happy even to Envy: Nor had I done when A4fcy/tos Role to the Door, and forcing the Bolt, found us diverting our felves; upon which, clapping his Hands, be fell a laughing, and turning me about ; What, {aid he, wojt reverewd Gentleman, what werePerronius ARBITER 1 were gow doing, my brother in Iniquity? Nor ‘was he content with Words only, but un- ‘tying the Thong that bound his Wallet, he ‘pelabour’d me heartily, and mingling Re- proaches with his Blows, s you like this, der fire a fecond parting. oo * Being thus (urprized, [ took little notice * of the Injury, but politickly turn’d it off * with a laugh; for otherwife I muft have * come to an Engagement with my Rival: © Whereas fweetning him with a counterfeit ‘* Mirth, I brought him alfo to laugh foe “ company: Azd you, Eucolpius, began he, * ave fo wrapt in Pleafures, you little confider * bow fhort our Money grows, and what we have © left will turn to no account: There's nothing * to be got in Town this Summer-time, we fall. * have better luck in the Country ; let's vifit our £ Friends. Los * Neteflity made me approve his Advice, ‘as well as concea] the {mart of the Lath 5 * fo loading Gito with our Baggage, we left * the City, and went to the Houle of one Ly- — * curges, a RomanKnight ; who, becanfe 4: © feyltog had formerly been his Comrade, en- * tertain’d us handfomely; and the.Compa- * ny we met with in the place, made our En- © tertainment the more agreeable: For, firft * there was Tryphena,a very beautiful Woman, * who came with one Eycas, the owner of a ‘ Ship, and Mafter of a fmall Seat that lay : contiguous to the Sea, "© The Delight we receiv'd in this place 6 a : was more than could be expreft, tho’ Ly- ee © curgus’s TETAS He RH ee ROT IEEE ENA oS ATOR my RD ERAT RA atte em esa2 TW ORKS of © curgws's Table was thrifty enough, you mutt, © know we were all promifcuoutly imploy'd * in Affairsof Love: The fair Zryphena pleasd © me, and readily inclin’d to my withes; * but I had fearce given her the Courtefie * of the Houfe when Lycas ftorming to be * thus nickt in his Amours, accus'd me at. © firft of underhand-dealing ; but foon from * a Rival addreffing himfelf as a Lover, he * pleafantly told me, I muft repair his Damae * ges; and ply’d me hotly: But Tryphenaha- ving my Heart, I could not lend him an ¢ Ear, The refufal made him the fharper; he * follow'd me wherever I went, and getting * into my Chamber at Night, when Entreaty * did no good, he fell to downright Violence; * but Iraisd fach an out-cry, that I wak'd * the whole Houfe, and by the help of Ly- * curgus, got tidof him for that time, “© At length perceiving Lycargus’s Honfe * was not for his purpofe, he would have _ * perfuaded me to his owns; but I rejecting * the proffer, he made ufeof Trypheza’s pow- * er over mes and fhe the rather perftiaded © me to yield tohim, becaufe the wasin hopes * of living more at liberty there. I follow’d © therefore whither my Love condutted me 5, * but Lycurgus having renew'd his old Con- * cern with Afcyltos, would not futfer him to * abfent hhimfelf: At laft we agreed, that he * fhou’d (tay with Lycurgus, and we go with * Lycas: Moreover it was concluded, that e- very one of us, as opportunity offer'd,fhould, pilfer what he could for the benefit of the - common Stock. . © Lycas s © 6PerroNius ARBITER, 13 © Lycas was overjoy'd at my Confent, and © {g haftned our departure, that, taking leave © of our Friends, we arriv’d at his Houfe the * fame Day. * But in our Paffage he fo order’d the mat- * ter that he fat next me,and Tryphene next to * Gito, which he purpofely contriv’d, to thew * the notorious Lightnefs of that Woman ; * nor was he miftaken in her, for fhe pre- * fently grew amorous of the Boy :-I was * quickly jealous, and Lycas fo exaflly re- * mark’d it tome, that he foon confirm’d my * {ufpicion of her. On this I began to. be * more condefcending to him, which made © him all Joy, as being affur’d the Unwor- * thinefsof my new Miftre($ wou'd beget my * Contempt of her, and refenting her flight, © I thould be more eafily induc'd to receive * him favourably, * Softood Affairs while we were at Lycas’s: * Tryphena was defperately in love with Gites . * Gio again as wholly devoted to her; I cat’d little for the fight of either of them; and Lycas ftudying to pleafe me, found me every day fome new Diverfion:” In all which alfo his Wife Doris, a fine Woman, * fttove to exceed him, and that with fo much 'gaiety, that fhe prefently expell'd * Tryphena from my Heart: I gave her the * Wink, and fhe return'd her Confent by as . wanton a Twincle ; fo that this dumb Rhe- totick going before the Tongue, fecretly convey’d to each other our mutual Inclina- tons, a T- ¢ € © ¢ ra nnian14 Te OKRS of | rd Cr n nen * Tknew Lycas was jealous, which keptme Tongue-ty’d folong, and the love he bore his Wife made him difcover to her his in- clination to me: But the fir opportunity we had of talking-together, ‘he related to me what fhe had leatn’d from him ; and I frankly confefs'd it, but withal told her how abfolutely averfe I had ever been to't: Well then, quoth the difcreet Woman, we muft try our Wits, according to his own Opinion, the Permiffion was one’s, and the Poffeflion another's, * By this time Gito had been worn off his Legs, and was gathering new ftrength, when Tryphene return’d to me, but difap- : pointed of her expectation, her Love chang’d toadownright Fury; and, all on fire with following me tono purpofe, fie got into my Intrigue both with Lycas and his Wife: She made little reckoning of his Wantonnefs with me, as well knowing i¢ wou'd hinder’ no Grift from coming to her Mill: But for Doris, fhe never left till fhe had found out her private Amours with me, and difco- ver'd them to Lycas; whofe Jealonfie being fuperior to his Love, ran all to Revenge s but Dors, advertis'd by Zryphena’s Woman, to divert the Storm, forbore any clande- {tine Meetings. * As foonas I perceiv'd it, having cuts'd the Treachery of Tryphera, and the Ingra- titude of Lycas, U began to think of retiring; and Fortune favourd me: For a Ship con- fecrated to the Goddefs Ips, laden with ® richPerronius ARBITER 16 tich Spoils, had the day. befqe ran upon the Rocks. mo. * Gito and I laid our Heads together, and ~ he was as willing as my felf to be gone; for Tryphena having exhaufted his ftrength, began now not to be fo fond of him. Early the next Morning therefore we march’d to- wards the Sea, where with the lefs difficulty we got on board the Veffel, becanfe we were no ftrangers to Lycas’s Servants, who at that time took care of her: They ftill ho- nouring us with their Company, it was not atime to filch any thing; but leaving Gito with them, I took an opportunity of getting into the Stern, where the Image of Jfés tood, and ftrip’d her of a rich Mantle, and Silver Trimming ; and allo having torn’d other good Booty out of the Mafter’s Cabin, I {tole down by a Rope, unfeen of any but Gito; who alfo gave them the flip and fneakt after me. * As foonas I faw him I fhew’d him the Purchafe, and both of us refolv'd to make what hafte we could to Afeyltos, but Lycur- gus’s Boufe was not to be reach’d the fame » day: When we came to Ajey/tos we thew'd him the Prize, and told him in fhort the manner of getting it, and how we had been the meer make-game of Love: He advis'd usto prepoflets Lycurgus with our Cafe, and make him our Friend ere the others could * feehim and withal boldly to affert, That . the ill ufage of Lycas was the only caufe why we ftole away fo haftily.; which when Ly. , . _ eurgits '¢ 5 a a te EN ate A ae n en wane a 6 © i c © 6 € aaa wn anne16 Th WORKS of curgus came go underftand, he would at all times protect us from our Enemies. Our flight was unknown till Tryphena and Doris were got out of Bed ; for we daily at- tended their Levy, and waited on them while "they were drefling; but, when contray to our ufual cuftom we were found miffing, Ly- cas fent after us, and efpecially to the Sea- fide, for he had heard we made that way, but not a word of the Pillage, for the Ship lay fomewhat to Sea-ward, and the Mafter had not yet return'd on board. , But at laft it being pofitively known we were run away, and Lycas becoming uneafie at our abfence, fell ina defperate paflion with his Wife, whom he fuppos‘d to be the occa- fion of our departure: I pafs over what Words and Blows he gave her, knowing not the particulars: I'll only fay, Zryphena, the Mother of Mifchief, had put Lycas in the head, “twas probable we had taken Sandu- ary at Lycurgus's, where fhe perfwaded him to go in queft of the Fugitives, and promis'd to Beat him Company, that the might load us with jut Reproaches. The next day they accordingly fet forward, and came to his Houfe ; but we were out of the way: For Lycurgus was gone to a Fefti- val in honour of Hercules, held at a neigh- bouring Village, and had taken us with him, of which when our Adverfaries were infornrd, they made what hatt they could after us, and met us in the Portico of the Temple, The fight of them very much difordered us : LycasPergonris Aknirern, 19 ‘Lycas eagerly complained of our flight to Ly- curgas, but was received with fuch a contra- ‘Ged Brow, and fo hauglity an Air, that I ‘took Courage upon’t, arid opening my Throat charg’d him with his lafcivious Attempts ‘upon me, as well at Lycurgus’s as in his own ‘Houfe ; and Tryphena endeavouring to ftop my Mouth, had her fhare of the Infamy ; for I fet out her Harlotry to the Mob, who gather'd about us to hear the Scolding : -And, as a Proof of what I faid, I thew’d ‘them poor limber-Ham‘d Gite, and my félf ‘alfo,whom vicious Practices had even brought ‘to our Graves, The Shout of the Mob put our Ene- mies fo out of Counténance, that they went off heavily, but contriving a Revenge 5 an ‘therefore obferving how we had put upon | Lycurgus, they: went back to expe& him at ‘his Honfe, and fet him right again: The : Solemnity ending later than was expeGed, ‘we could not reach Lycargus’s that Night; cand therefore he brought us to a half-way : Houfe, but left us afleep next Morning, :and went home to difpatch fome Bufinefs, : where he found Lycas and Tryphena waiting . for him, who fo order’d the matter with : him, that they prevail’d with bim to deli- er us up. Lycargus, naturally barbarous nd faithlefs, began to contrive which way ~ to betray us, aud fent Lycas to get forte ; Help, whilft he fecurd us in the Vil- c - Thither18 Th WORKS of Thither he came, and at his firlt entry treated us in the fame manner as Lycas had done: After which, wringing his Hands to- gether, he upbraided us with the Lye we had made of Lycas, and taking Afeylios from us, lock’d us up in our Chamber, where we lay, without fo much as permitting him to fpeak in our defence; bue carrying him to his Houfe, he fet a Guard upon us, till he himfelf fhould return. On the Road Afeyltos did what he could to mollifie Lycargus ; but neither Entreaties mingled with Love, nor Tears, could do any good upon him: It came into our Comrade’s Head to fet us at Liberty by other Methods; and being all on fire at Lycurgus’s Reftinefs, refusd to lodge with him that Night, and by that means the - more eafily put in execution what he had been thinking on. The Family was in their dead Sleep when Afeyltos took our Baggage upon his Shoulders, and getting through a Breach in the Wall, which he had formerly taken no- tice of, came to the Village by break of Day, and meeting no one to ftop him, bold- ly enterd it, and came up to our Cham- ber ; which the Guard that was upon us had taken care to make faft, but the Bar being of Wood, he eafily wrench’d ‘it with _an Iron Crow, and waken’d us; for we foundly fhor'd, in fpight of all our ill For- tune. : : OurPérkonius ARBITER, 19 Our Guard had fo over-watch'd them felves, that they were fall’n into a dead - ‘Sleep, which was the Reafon we only wak'd at the breaking of the Door. To be fhort, Afeyltos came in, and biiefly told us what he had done for our fake: On this we got up; and as we were rigging our felves, it came into my Head to kill the Guard, and rifle the Village; Itold 4fcyltos my Mind: He liked the rifling well enough, but difap- provd the other Propofal, and gave us out ‘defired Liberty without Blood, for being ac- quainted with every corner of the Houfe, he pick’d the Lock of an Inner-rooi where the Moveables lay, and bringing us into it, we ftole what was of moft value, and got off while it was yet early in the Morning ¢ avoiding the common Road, and not refting till we thought our felves out of danger. Thén Afeyltos having gotten heart again, began to amplifie the Delight he took ir having pillag’d Lycurgus; of whofe miferable- _nefs he complain’d with juft reafon ; for he _had neither paid him for bis Nights fervice, ‘nor kept a Table that liad either Méat of Drink on’t, being fuch a miferable Scoundrel, that, notwithfanditig his infinite Wealth, he deny'd himfelf the common Neceflaries - of Life. A ternate Streanis cur? Taritalus Surround, : Whofeflate ring Surge with blufhing Fruits abound. _ €3 The20 The WORKS of The wanton Banquet with malicious bafe, Flies frou the Wretch that perifhes to tafte : Such is the Mifer’s Fate, who ‘nidft his Store, (Fearing to ufe) 3 wiferably poor. Afeylios defign’d for Naples the fame day, had T not acquainted him how imprudent it was to take up there, where, according to all probability, we were in likelihood to be fought after: And therefore, faid I, let's keep out of the way for the prefent, and, fince we have enough to defend us from want, ftronl it about till che Heat be over. The Advice was approv'd, and we fet forward for a pleafant Country Town, where we were fure.to meet fome of our Acquaintance that were taking the benefit of the Scafon: But we were fcarce got half way, when a fhowre of Rain difcharging it felf upon us like Buckets, forc’d us into the next Village ; where entring a Houfe of Entertainment, we faw a great many others that had alfo firuck in thither to avoid the Storm, The throng kept us from being taken notice of, and gave us the opportunity of prying here and there, what we might filch ia a Crowd ; when Afeyltos, unheeded of any body, took a Purfe from the Ground, in which he found feveral picces of Gold; we leap'd for Joy at fo fortunate a beginning; but fearing left fome or other might feck after it, we flunk out at a Back-door, where we faw a Groom fadiing his Horfes; but, as having forgot ome-Perronres ARBITER 21 fomewhat, he ran into the Houfe, leaving behind him an Embroider’d Mantle faftned to one of the Saddles: In his abfence. I cut the Straps, and under the covert of fome Out-houfes, we made off with it to a neigh- bouring Foreft. Being more out of danger among the Thickets, we were .contriving where we fhould hide the Gold, that we might not be either charg’d with the Felony, or robb’d of it our felves: At laft we concluded to few it in the Lining cf an old-patcht Coat, which I threw over my Shoulders, and entrafted: the Care of the Mantle to Afeyltos, with an intent to get to the City by Crofs-ways: But as we were going out, we heard fome-body on out left hand fpeak to this purpofe: They thall not efcape us; they came into the Wood; let’s feparate our felves and beat about, that we may the better difcover and take them. _ This put us into fuch a fright, that Afeyltos : and Gifo fled thro’ Briars and Brambles to- . wards the City; but 1 turn’d back again in - fuch a hurry, that without perceiving it, the . précious Coat dropt from my Shoulders; At laft being quite tir’d, and not able to go any - further, I laid me down under the theleer of aTree, where I firft mift the Coat : Then Grief reftor'd my ftrength, and up [got again, to try if I could recover the Treafure ; 1 ‘ wander'd backwards and forwards to no | manner of purpofe; till {pent and wafted . With toil and forrow, 1 got into'a Thicket, : where having tarried four Hours, and half : C3 dead22 The W 0 R KS of dead with the horrour of the place, I fought the way out; but going forward, a Country - Man came in fight of me: Then had I occa- fion for all my ftock of Confidence ; nor did it fail me: I went up roundly to him, and making my moan bow I had loft my felf in the Wood, defir'd him to tell me the way to the City: He pitying my Figure (for I was as pale as Death, and all bemir’d) ask’d me, if I had feen any one in the Wood? I anfwer'd, not a Soul— on which he courteoufly brought me into the High-way, where he met twoof his Friends, who told him, they had travers'd the Wood thro’ and thro’, but had lit’upon nothing but a Coat, which they fhew’d him. It may eafily be believed I had not. the Courage to challenge it, tho’ 1 knew well e- nough what the value of it was: This affli- Ged. me more than all the re(t; however, be- wailing my Treafure, the Country-man not heeding me, and Fecblenefs growing upon me, I flacken'd my pace, and jogg’d on flower than ordinary, It was longer e're I reach’d the City than [thought of ; but coming to the Inn, I found Afegltos halt dead, ftretcht upon a Straw Pallat, and fell on another my (elf, not able to uttera word: He miffing the Coat, was in a great diforder, and haftily demanded of. te, what was become of it: I, on the other hand, fcarce able to draw my Breath, refolv’d him by languithing Eyes, what my Tongue would not give nie leave to {peak : At length recovering by little and little, I plainly told = pe eS Ea ee AT him tedPeTrRonius ARBITER. 23 him the ill Fortune I had met with: But he thought I jefted, and tho’ the Tears in my Eyes might have been as full Evidence to him as an Oath, he’ yet queftioned the truth of what I faid, and would not believe but I had amind tocheat him. During this, Gito ftood as troubled as my felf, and the Boys fadnefs increas'd mine: But the frefh purfuit that was made after us, diftratted me mof. I opened the whole matter to Afcyltos, who feem’d little concern’d at it, as having lucki- ly got off for the prefent, and withal affir'd himfelf, that we were paft danger, in that wé were neither known, nor feen by anys: However, it was thought fit to pretend a Sicknefs, that we might bave the better Pre- tence to keep where we were: But our Mo - nies falling (horter than we thought of, and Neceflity enforcing us, we found it high time to fell fome of ‘our Pillage. : It was almoft dark, when going into the Brokers Market, we faw abundance of things to be bought and fold; of no extraordinary Value, ‘tis true, yet fuch as might be fafe- -ly difpofed of at that time by the Perfons who ftole them, We alfo had-the Mantle with us, and taking the opportunity of a blind Corner, fell a thaking the Skirt of it, to fee if (0 glittering a Shew would bring us _4 Purchafer: Nor had we been long there, e’re a certzin Country-man, whom I thought I had feen before, came up to us, with a - Woman after him, who beginning to infpeé the Mantle more narrowly, as on the o- C4 thera4. ThWORKS of ther fide did Afcyl#os our Country Chapman's Shoulders, they prefently ftartled him, and ftruck him dumb: Nor could I my felf be- hold ‘em without being concern’d at it, for - he feem'd to me to be the fame Fellow that. had found the Coat in the Wood, as in truth he was: But Ajcyltas doubting whether he might truft bis Eyes or not, and that he might aot do any thing rathly, firft came nearer to bim as a Buyer, and taking the Coat from. his Shoulders, began to cheapen, and turn it more carefully: Othe wonderful vagaries of Fortane! for the Country- man had not ex- . amined a Seam of it, but carelefly lookd on it as.a Purchafe for a Beggar. _ Afeyltos feeing the Coat unript, ‘and the Perfon of the Seller contemptible, took me afide from.the Crowd: And don’t you fee Brother, {aid he, the Treafure I made fach fhoan about is return'd? That's the Coat -- withthe Gold in’t, all fafe and untoucht : What therefore fhall we do, or what courfe fhall we take to get our own again ? s.was now ‘comforted, not-fo much that I had: feen the Booty, but had clear’d my felf of the Sufpicion that Jay upon me, and was by: no means’ for going about the Buth, but lownright bringing an Action againft ‘him, That if the Fellow would not give up the Coat to the right Owner, we might recover it by Law, Law bears the Name, but Morey bas the Power The Cale is bad mhene’er the Client's Poors ThoFart L¥age 24.Perronius AgBiTER, 9 Thofe firitt-life'd Men that fem above our World Ave oft too modeft to refift ou Gold. ' So Fuffice, like other Wares, are fold s And the grave Judge that nods upon the Laws, Wak d by a Bribe, fiziles, and approves the Canufe. Afeyltos on the other fide afraid of the Law, Who, faid he, knows us in this place, or will - give any Credit to what we fay? I am clear for buying it, tho’ we know it to be our own, and rather recover the Treafure with a little Money, than embroil our felves in an uncer- tain Suit ; but we had not above a couple of Groats ready Money, and that we defign'd fhould buy us fomewhat to eat. Left there- fore the Coat fhould be gone in the mean time, we agreed, rather than fail, to fell the Mantle at a lower price, that the Advantage we got by the one, might make amends for what we loft by the other. As foon therefore as we had f{pread open the Mantle, the Woman the itood muffled by the Cotintry-man, having pryingly taken notice of fome tokens about it, forcibly. laid both Hands on’t, and fetting up her Throat, cry’d out, Thieves, Thieves! We on the other part were very much fut- priz'd at the Accident, yet left we thould be wanting to our felves in this Extremity, we got hold of the tatter'd Coat, and as {pitee fully roard out, They have robb'd us of it. But our Cafe was in no wife like theirs, and the Rabble that came in upon the Out-cry, — ridicul'd,26 Th WORKS of “ridicul’d, according to their manner, the weaker fide, in that the others made claim to a rich Mantle, and we to a ragged Coat, fearce worth a gcod Patch. At this Afeyltos could hardly keep his Countenance ; but the noife being over, We fee, faid he, how every one likes his own beft, Give us our Coat, and let them take the Mantle, The Country-man and the Woman likd the exchange well enough, but a fort of Petti- foggers, moft of whofe bufinefs was fuck Night Pradtice, having a mind to get the Mantle in their own Cuftody, as importunely required, that both Mantle and Coat fhould be left in their Hands, and the Caufe fhould be determin’d on the Morrow: For it was not the things alone that feem’d to be in difpute, but quite another matter to be en- quir’d into, #o wit, a {trong fufpicion of Rob- bery on both fides. At laft it was agreed to put both into fome indifferent hand, till the Right was de- termin’d ; when prefently one, I know not who, with a bald Pate, anda fiery Face fall of Pimples, a pettifogging kind of a Solicitor, fteps from among the Rabble, and laying hold on the Mantle, faid, He'd be Seeurity it fhould be forth-coming the next day: when in truth his Intention was, that having gotten it into Huckfters hands, it might be fmugeled amongit him and his Companions, . as believing we would never come to own it, for fear of being apprehended for (tealirig it. For our part we were as willing as he ;- and : anPerronius ARBITER 97 an Accident befriended both of us: For the Country-man thinking fcorn of it, that we demanded to have the patcht Coat given us, threw it at Afcyltos’s Head, difcharging us of. every thing but the Mantle, requiring that ta be fecur'd as the only Caufe of the Difpute, Having therefore recover'd, as_ we thought, our Treafure, we made all the hafte wecould to the Inn, and having fhut the Door upon us, made our felves Merry, as well with the jadgment of the Rabble as of our Detractors, who with fo much circumfpection had re- ftor’d us our Money, While we were ripping the Coat and taking out the Gold, we overheard fomebody asking mine Hoft, what kind of People.thofe were that jut now cfine in: And béing Qartled atthe queftion, 1 went down to fee what was, the matter, and underftood that a City Ser- jeant, who, according to the Duty of his Of-. fice, took an account of all Strangers, had feen a couple come into the Inn; whofe Names he had not yet Regifter'd, and there- fore enquired of what Country they were, and what was their way of living. — But mine Hoft gave me fuch a blind Ac- count of it, that I began to fufpe&t we were not fafe there; whereupon, for fear of being taken up, we thought fit to make off for the prefent, and not to return back agaia till it was late in the Night, but leave the care of our Supper to the management of Gito, We28 =ThWORKS of We had refolv’d to keep. out of the broad Streets, and accordingly took our Walk thro’ that quarter of the City, where we were like- ly to meet leaft Company ; when in a narrow winding Lane, which had no Paffage thro’, we faw, 2 little diftance before us, two hand- fome well-dreft Ladies, and followed them ata diftance to a Gtigege?; which they entred, and from whence we heard an odd humming kind of a Noife, as it came from the hollow of aCave: Curiofity alfo made us go in after — them, where we faw a number of Women, as mad as if they had been Sacrificing to Bac- ehus, and each of them an Amulet ( the En- fign of Priapws ) in her Hand. More than that, we could not get to fee; for they was no fooner fenfible of our being amongft them, but they fet up fuch a Shout, that the Roof of the Temple fhook again, and withal en- deavoured to lay Hands on us; ‘but we fcam- per'd away, and made all the halte we could to our Inn. : : ‘ We had fcarce eaten the Supper which Gito had got ready for us, when a more.than: ordinary knocking at the Door put us into another Fright ; we look’d as paleas Death, -and in fear demanded who was there? An- . fwer was made, Open the Door and you'll fee: While we were talking, the Bolt dropt off and fell down of its own accord,. and the Door miraculoufly flew open, on which, a “Woman with her Head veil’d came in upon us, the very fame who a little before was with the Country-man in the Market: And : what,PetTRoNius ARBITER, 29 what, faid fhe, do you think to put a Trick upon me? Tam Quartilla’s Maid, whofe Sa- eréd Recefs you fo lately difturb'd : She is at the Inn-gate, and defires to {peak with you: You need not be uneafie, the neither blames your Inadvertency, or has amind to refene . it, but rather wonders what God brought © {uch civil Gentlemen into her Quarters. We were filent as yet, and gave her the - hearing, but not the leaft inclind to grant any part of her Requefts, when in came Quartilla her {elf, attended with a young Girl, and fitting down by me, fell a weep- ing: Nor here did we put in a word, but ftood expecting what would be the event of thefe Tears which the commanded:at her dif- cretion. At laft, when the Showre was over, fhe difdainfully turn’d up her Hood, and wringing her Hands together, What Impu- dence, faid the, is this? or where learnt you thefe Shams, and that Slight of Hand you have fo lately been beholden to? By my Faith, I am forry for ye; for no one be- held what was unlawful for him to look upon, but went off feverely punifht: and fincerely our part of the Town hath fo many Deities in it, you'll fooner meet with a God than a Man: Don't believe I come here with any Sentiments of Revenge, I am rather affect- ed with Compafficn for your Youth than an- gry at the Injuries you have done me, which, - believe, were not done with a Defign, but unawares you had the Misfortune to perpe- trate them, and an inexpiable abomination. For30 The WO KR S of For my part, it troubled me all Night, and threw mie into fuch a thaking, that I was afraid Thad gotten a Zertien Ague, on which Ttook a Remedy to have made me Sleeps but the God appeared to me, and commanded me to rife and find you out, as the likelieft way to take off the violence of the Fit. Yet Tam not fo mich in pain for a Cure, but that a greater Anguifh {trikes me to the Heart, and will undoubtedly make an end of me, for . fear, in one of your youthful Frolicks, you fhould declare what you faw in Priapus’s ERAGE, and difclofe the Myfteries of the Gods amongft the Vulgar. Low .as your Knées, I therefore life my Hands tye, that you neither make a Jeftof our Night-wor- thip, nor difhonour the Rites of fo many Years, which not every one, even among® our felves, is throughly acquainted with, After this the fell a crying again, and with many 2 pitiful Lamentation, fell flat on my Bed; when f, at the fame time, between Pity and Fear, bid her take Courage and af- fare her felf, that we would neither divulge thofe Holy Myfteries, nor, if the God had prefcrib’d her any other Remedy for her A+ gue, be wanting freely to affift in the Cure, even with the hazard of what was deareft to us, At this Promife of mine, becoming niore chearful, fhe fell a kiffing me thick and three- fold, and changing her Tears into Laughing, fhe comb’d up fome Hait that hung over my Eyes with her Fingersé And I, faid the, ani ; FriendsPerronius ARBITER, 3t Friends with you, and remit the Injury 1 in- tended againft you ; but if,you fhon’d refufe me the Medicine I entreat of you for the A- gue, Ihave thofe that will be ready by to Morrow, who fhall both vindicate my Re- putation, and revenge the Affront you have put upon me. Contempt’s uncivil, 10 Command is rude ; Love does no Force upon the Fair intrude, The bef Revenge is, to neglett an Ill, The Wife forgive, or Kiffing kindly Kill. - Then clapping her Hands together, fell into fo violent a fit of Laughter, that the gave us reafon to apprehend fhe had fome defigns againft us; the Woman which came in firlt, and the Girl that accompanied Quartilla were in the fame humour. Their Mirth feemed fo odd and unnatural, that we who faw no. reafon for fo fudden a change, ftood amaz‘d, and fometimes.lookt upon the Women, and fometimes upon one another, . During thefe Tranfadions, faith Quartilla, T have commanded, That no Fleth alive be - permitted to come into this Inn to day, that I may be at liberty to receive the Medicine for my Ague without interruption. Afeyltos was ina little confufion, but I was fo furprizd, that I had not power to utter a word: But the Company put mein heart a- gain, for they were but three Women, and ifthey had any defign, muft yet be too weak : to32 Th WORKS of to effectit again(t us, who if we had nothing more of Man about us, had yet that Figure to befriend us: We were all ready for the En+ gagement, “and I had fo contriv'd the Order of Battle, that if it muft come to a Rencounter I was to make my part good with Quartilla, Afeyltos with her Woman, and Gito with. the Girl. While I was thus conttiving the matter, Quartilla addrefs'd her felf to me to cure her of het Ague, but finding her felf difappoine- ed, the flew away in a Paffion, and returning, in a little while, commanded fome Perforis in difguife forcibly to convey us into a more magnificent Palace. Here all our Courage fail'd us, and nothing but certain Death feem‘d to appear before out Eyes. . When I began, If, Madam, you defign to be more fevere with us, be yet fo kind as to difpatch us quickly, for the nature of our Offence is not fo heinous, that we ought to be rack’d to death for it: Upon which her Woman, whofe.Name was Pfyche, {pread ‘a Carpet on the Floor, and fell examining the infide of my Breeches, but her Labour was loft, all was quite gone. Afeyltos muffled bis Head in his Coat, as having had a hint given him how dangerous it was to take no- tice of what did not concern him: In the “ mean time Pfyche took off her Garters, and with the. one of them bound my Feet, and with the other my Hands, AsPirronrus ARBITER, 33 - As IT lay thus fetter’d, Madain,’ faid 1, this is not the way to miake mé capable of cu. ting your Ladies Ague: I grant it, anfwer'd Pfyche, but 1 have a Dofe at hand will infal- libly do it + dnd thereapon fhe’ brought me alufty Bow! of Swtyrioz, (a Love Potion ) - and fo metrily fan over the wonderfal Effeds of it, that fie induc’d nie to drink the great- éft part of it off: But becaufe Afcyltos had - flightéd her Addreffes, fhe finding his Face tirn’d from her, thtew what was left upott his’ Back. . oe Afeyltos petceiving the Affait was over, Am not I worthy, faid hé, to get a Sup? And Pfjche fearing my Laughter might dif- cover Hier, clapped her Hands, and told him, Young-mian, 1 made youi an offer of it, but your Friend heré bas joft now drank it alk up. . Ps itfo, fays Quartilld, {miling vety agree= ably, and has Excolpins gulp'd it all down? At laft alfo even Gio laugh’d for Comipany; at what tinié the young Wench flung het Arms about his Neck, and meeting no refi- ftatice, half fmothet’d hith with Riffes. , _ We would have ecry'd out, but thete was fio one near to“help us: arid a8 I was offer ing to bid’ém keep the Peace, Pfjche fell 4 pricking the with Her Bodkiti: On the o? thet fide alfd, the yourig Wench half ftifled Afeyltos with a Dith-clout the bad rubb’d in the Bowl: BD. bally;34 Th WORKS of _ Laftly, came leaping upon us an unraly Fellow, in a rough Mantle ftuck with Myr- tle, girt about him; and one while almoft ground us to Powder, and otherwhile dif- obligd us with his’ Kifles, till Quartile, bolding her Staff of Office in her Hand, dif- eharg’d us of the Service; but not without having firlt oblig’d us to Swear, that fo dread- fal a Secret fhould go no further than our felves. Then came in a Company of Wrefts lers, and rub‘d_us over with the Yolk of an Egg beaten to Oil: When being fomewhat. refrefh'd, we put on our Night-gowris, and were led into the next Room which had three tich Beds.in it, and the reft of the Enter- tainment as fplendidly fet out. The word was given, and we fate down; when having: whet our Appetites with an excellent Anti. paft, we treated our felves with the choiceft. Wine; nor was it long e’er we fell a nod. ding. Is it fo, quoth Qzartilla, can ye fleep when ye Know it is the Vigil to Priapus? At what time Afcyltos {noaring fourdly, and Pfycbe not forgetting the difappointment the had met with, black’d his Face, and {cord his Shoulders with a burnt-Stick’send. For my own part, being over-harra(é'd with the Mifchiefs I had fuffer'd, I could not get a wink of Sleep, nor was the reft of the Fa- mily, whether. within doors or without, ina much better condition ; fomelay up and down at our Feet, others*had run their Heads a- gainft a Wall, and others lay dead afleep agcrofs the Thrtefhold: The Lamps alfo ha- vingPerrontus ARBITER 35 ving drank up all their Oyl, gave a weak and — glimmering Light, At this infant got in a couple of pilfering Rogues to have ftolen our Wine; but while they fell a fcuffling among fome Silver Veflels that ftood upon the Table, they broke the Earthen Jarr that held the Wine, and overthrew a Table with fome Plate upon it, and at the fame time alfo a Cup falling off the Shelf on P/yche's Bed, broke her Head as fhe lay fatt afleep; upon which the cry’d out, and therewith difco- ver'd the Thieves, and wak’d fome of the Drunkards:' The Thieves on the other hand finding themfelves in danger of difcovery, threw themfelves on one of the Beds, and fell a {noting as foundly a8 the reft. The Uther of the Hall being by this time got awake, put more Oyl into the dying Lamps; and the Boys having rub’d their Eyes, re- turn’d to their charge, when in came a Wo- man that play’d on the Harp, and ratling ita Strings rouz'd all the reft: On which the Ban- quet was renéwd, and Quertilla gave the Word fo go on where we left off (Drinking): ” The She-Harper alfo added not a little to our Midnight Divetfion. At laft bolted in a moft fhamelefs Rafcal, void of Grace both in Words ahd Adtion, and truly worthy of the Houfe wherein he was; who having compos'd him(elf in an affedted manner, uttet’d thefe Verfes. D2 - - @36 The WORKS of O Yet! to Love's myfterions Feaft repair, The Old, the Young, the Ugly, and the Fair, T invade each other with foft melting Lips, With kind Embraces, and with aifive Hips. Having done with his Poetry, he fmear'd our Lips with loathfome Kiffes, then getting on our Bed, he tugg’d ftoutly ta have turn'd us out of it, but our Refiftance render’d his Endeavours altogether fruitlefs. Great crops of Paint hung like Gam on his Fore- head, and came trickling down the wrinkles of his Cheeks like Rain on a naked Wall. Nor could I forbear Tears any Jonger, but being brought to the laftExtremity, I befeech you, Madam, (fays1) have you commanded us to be fmother’d ? ~ When gently clapping her Hands together, A very witty Gentleman, faid the, a Man of excelfent Parts! what, don’t you know thefe fort of People are always toying? Upon this, that my Companion might not ’fcape better than my felf, By your Integrity, Ma- dam, faid I, does Afcyltos alone keep Holy- day among us? HN Is it fo, faid the, even fet him have his fhare too: And therewith the Rafcal chang’d hiscourfe, and turning to Afcyltos,with Tricks and Humours almoft beat him to Pow- der. Gito ftood laughing all the while, till he had well-nigh fplit himfelf ; which Rae hhaPevrronrus ARBITER 37 zlla perceiving, with much Curiofity enqui- red whofe Boy he was, and I telling her he was my Comrade, Why then, faid the, has he not kift ‘me? And fo calling. him to her, the fell to kiffing him fmartly ; this young Gentleman, fays the Old Lady, may. do well enough for a Whet, and get me an Appetite to Morrow; but baving made fo full a Meal already, it is not my way ta put a Churl upona’Gentleman. With that — Pfyche came tittering to her, and having whi- {per’d fomething in her Ear, You are-in the. right on’t, quoth Quartile, twas well thought ons and fince we have fo fine an opportunity, why thould not our Pasazychis partake with us?. And forthwith was brought in a pretty young Girl, that {eem'd not to be above Se-; ven. Years of Age, and. was the fame that came into our Ian with Quartile: All appro- ving the Defign, and defiring the Confum- mation, a Match was ftruck up between the Boy and her. For my part { ftood amaz’d, and. affor’d them, That. neither Giso, a mo- deftLad, wasable to undergoe fuch a Drud- gery, or the Girl of yearsto receive it. Is that all, quoth Quertilla? Is fhe lefs than 1 was when: I firft enter'd ont? I vow, by all that’s good, I can’t remember that I ever was a Maid ; for when I was in Hanging-fleeves, I went to Creep-moufe with little Boys; and as I grew in Years, | entertain'd my felf with bigger, till I came to the Age you fee ; and. truly I think hence came the Proverb: D3 Shel38- Te WORKS of She'll bear biae a Bull that bore hint a Calf Fearing therefore my Comrade might fu- tain a greater Injury by my delay, I got up to celebrate the Wedding. ~ And now Pfyche put a Flame-colour'd Veit upon the Girl’s Head; a Satyr led before with a Flamboe, and a long Train of drunken Women fell a fhouting, and dreft up the Bride-chamber; Qyartil/a all a-gog as the reft, took -hold of Gito, and drage’d him in with her: But truly the Boy made no refiftance ; nor feem'd the Girl frighted at the Nantie of .Matrimony. When therefore they were lock¢ up, we ftood at the Chamber-Door ; and Quartilla having waggithly flit a Chink in the Door, as wantonly lookt.thro’ it ; nor con- tent with that, pluckt me to be a Witnefs of ‘their Diverfion, and when we were not peep- ing, fhe turn’d her Face to. me, and would fteal a Kifs, SP The Jade's fulfomnefs had fo tir'd me, that 1 began to devife which way to get off. ¥ told Afcyltos my Mind, and he- was well pleafed with it, for he was as willing to get rid of his Torment, Pfyche > This might ealily haye been done, if Gito had not been lockt up in the Chamber; for we were refolv’d to take him with us, and not leave him expos'd unto the mercy of ‘an Ii-houfe. While we were contriving how to bring about our Defign, ‘it fo happened that Pannychis fell ‘out of Bed, and drew Gito after her, with- 8 , oe ‘ one PNJ Lage ©Perronits ARBITER 39 out being hurt, but the Girl gota fmall Knock — as the fell, and therewith made fuch a Cry, that Quartilla, all in a Fright, ran headlong in, and gave us the opportunity of getting off, and taking the Boy with us; when with- out more ado, we flew to our Inn, and gete ting to Bed, paft the reft of the Night with- outFear. — - But going ont the next Day, whom thould we meet with, but two of thofe Fellows that robb’d us of the Mantle, which Ajeyltos per- ceiving, he briskly attack’d one of them, and having difarm’d and defperately wounded - him, came id to my Affiftance, who ‘was preffing hard upon the other ; but he behav'd himfelf fo well, that he wounded us both, altho’ but flightly, and got off himfelf with- out fo much as a Scratch: And now came the third Day, on which ° we were invited to an Entertainment .at - Trimalchio's, where every one might fpeak his Mind: But having received fome Wounds, we thought it convenient to withdraw to our Inn as faft as we could, and our Wounds not being great, we cured them as we lay in our Bed with Wine and OyI. _ But the Rogue whom Aféyltos had hewn down, layin the Street, and we were in fear of being difcovered: while therefore we were penfively confidering which way to avoid the impending Storm, a Servant of Agansemuon's interrupted our Fears: And don’t you know, faid he, with whom you are to Eat to Day ? Triwalchio, a trim finical Humourift has a D4 Clock49 Th WORKS of Clock in his Dining-room, contriv’d. on pur- pofe to let him know how many Minutes of his Life he has loft, We therefore drelt our felves carefully, and Gio willingly taking upon him the part of a Servant,.as he had hitherto done, we bad him put our things together, and follow us to the Bath. "Having in the mean time dreft our felves, we rambled up and down we knew not where, and being refolv'd to give our {ilves all the Diverfion we could, {truck into a Tennis- Court, where wefaw an old Bald-pated Fel- Jow in a Carnation-colour'd Coat, playing at Ball with a company of Boys; nor was it fo much the Boys, tho it was worth our while to obferve them, that engaged our Attention, as the Mafter of the Houfe himfelf in Pumps, who altogether toffed the Ball, and never frac it alter it once came to the Ground, at had a Servant by him with a Beg full .of them, and enough for all that play’d.- . ” We obferv’d alfo other new things; for ‘jn the Gallery ftood two Eunuchs, -one of whom held-a Silver Bafon, the other counted the Balls; not thofe they kept toffing, bue fuch ‘as‘fell'to the Ground. While we .ad- mir'd the Humour, one Menelaxs came up to us, and told us, This is the Gentleman you inuft fup withal to Night, and that we had {een the beginning of our Entertainment... As he was yet: talking, Trimalchio, the vainelt Man alive, fnapp'd his Fingers, at which fign the Eunuch held the Bafon to. him as-he Was playing 5 then calling for Water, hedip- Bel phas . Pott te OY ped aePerronius ARBITER, 40 | ped the tips of his Fingers in it, and dry'd them on the, Boys head. “Twould be too long to lay open the whole Scene: We went into the Hummums, and being prefently in a Sweat, we defcended into a Cold Bath; and while Trimalchio was anointed from Head to Foot with a liquid Perfume, and rabb’d clean again, not with Linnen, but the fineft Flannel, his three Surgeons ply’d ftoutly fome Bottles of rich Mufcadine ; but brawling over.their Cups, Trivalchio {aid it was his turn to drink ; then wrapt.up in a Scarlet Mantle, he was laid on a Chair, fupported by: fix Servants, with four Lacqueys dreft in rich Liveries run- ning before him, and by his fide a Sedan, in which was carried his Darling, a Squinting and Blear-ey'd over-grown Boy, mofe ill- favour'd and ugly than his Mafter Trimalchias who, as they went on, kept clofe to his Ear. with a Flagellet, as if he had whifper'd him, and made him Mufick all the way. Wondere ing, we follow'd, and, with Agamemnon, ar- riv'd:at. the Gate,-on which hung 4 Tablet with this Infcription: WHATEVER SERVANT GOES OUT WITHOUT HIS MASTER’S LEAVE, SHALL RECEIVE A HUNDRED - STRIPES; Tn the Porch (tood the Porter in a Green Livery, girt about with a Cherry-colourd Girdle, cleanfing of Peafe in a Silver Char- ger; and.over-head hung a Golden Cige “coe . wit42 Th WORKS of with a Magpye init, which faiuted usas we entred: But while 1 was ftaring at thefe No- velties, I had like to have broke my Neck backwards ; for on the Left Hand, not far from the Porter's Lodge, there was a great Dog in a Chain painted on theWall, and over him written ia Capital Letters, TAKE CARE OF THE DOG. My Companions - could not forbear laughing; but I recolled- ing my Spirits, pur{ued my defign of going to the end of the Wall; it contain'd the draught of a Market-place where Slaves were bought and fold, with Bills tackt upon them fhewing their Price: There was alfo Trimal:bio with a white Staff in his Hand, and Minerve with a Train after her entring Rome: A little farther was reprefented after what manner he had learnt to caft Account, -and: how he was made Auditor ; all exquifite- ly painted, with their proper Explanations ; and at the end of the Gallery Mercury was difcovered lifting him by the Chin, and pla- cing him on a Judgment-feat, Fortxze ftood. by him with a Corzucopia, and the three fatal Sifters weaving a Golden Thread. . ‘T obferved alfo towards the lower-end of the fame place a Troop of Light-horfemen, with their Commander exereifing them; as alfoalarge Armoury, in one of the Angles of which ftood a Shrine with Houfhold Gods in. Silver, -a Marble Statue of Veaus, and alarge: Golden Box, in which it was faid he kept the: firft Shavings of his Beard. We enquired of. the Servant that had the charge of thefe things,Petronivs ARBITER. 43 things, What Pictures thofe were in the mid- dle? The Viads and the Odyffes, faid he; and on the left hand are two Pieces of Sword. playing. We could. not beftow much time to confider them, for by this time we were come to ‘the . Dining-room, inthe entry of which fate the Steward infpe&ing Accounts: But what I moft admir’d, were thofe bundles of Rods, with their Axes, that were faftned to the fides of the Door, and ftood, as it were on the Brazen Prow of a Ship, on which was written; CINNAMUS, STEWARD OF catus POMPEIUS TRIMALCHIO, A MAN OF QUALITY. : Under the fame Title alfo hung a Lamp with two Branches, from the Roof of the. Room, and two Tablets on either fide of the Door ; of which one, according to the beft of my remembrance, had this Infcription, THE THIRD AND ‘SECOND OF THE » KALENDS OF JANUARY, OUR Pa-. "TRON CATUS EATS ABROAD. On the other was reprefented the Courfe of the Moon, and the Seven Stars; and what Days were Lucky ot Unlucky, each diftin- fen by an Imbofs'd Stidd from one ano- f cre : Full‘44. ThWORKS of Foll of this Luxury we were now entring the Room, where one of his Boys, fet there _ for that purpofe, call’d aloud to us, AD- VANCE ORDERLY. Nor is it to be doubt- ed, but we were fomewhat concern’d for fear of breaking the Orders of the place. But while we were proceeding accordingly, 4 Ser- vant ftript of his Livery fell at our Feet,: and befought us to fave him from a Whip- ping, alledging his Fanle was no great mat- ter, and that he had only loft fome Cloaths of the Stewards in the Bath, which were. hardly worth Eighteen-pence. , - We returned therefore in good Decorum, and finding the Steward in the Compting- Houle telling fome Gold, ‘befought him to remit the Servant’s Punifhment: When put- ting ona haughty Face, It is not, faid he, the lofs of the thing which troubles me,. but-the Negligence of a carelefs Rafeal. He has loft me the Garments I usd to Feaft in, and which a. Client of wine prefented me with on my Birth- day, 29 Man can deny then to be right Purple, tho not the double Dyes. but let then be worth, what they will, I grant’ your Requeff Having receiv'd fo great Favour, as we were entring the Dining room, the Servant for whom. we had been Interceffors, -met us, and kiffing us, with many Thanks for the Kindnefs we had done, By and by, fays he, zou foall know, that the Wine which my Lord drinks of himfelf, is oftentimes in the difpof- tion of bis Servants. , . AtPETRONIUS ARBITER, ge . At length we fate down, when fome Gy pfie- Boys coming about us, poured Snow-water on our Heads, and others par’d the Nails of our Feet, with a mighty dexterity, and that not filently, but humming as it were to themfelves. I refolv'd to try if the whole Family was good at Singing ; and therefore called for Drink, which one of the Young- {ters asteadily brought me, with an odd kind of Tune; and in the fame humour was every one you asked for any thing. Then came in a fumptuous Breakfaft, for we were all feated but only Trimalchio, for whom, after a new Fathion, the chief Place was referv'd. Befides that, asa part of the Entertainment, there was fet by usa large . Veffel of Metheglin, with a- Pannier, in the one part of which were white Olives, inthe other black ; two broad pieces of Plate co- vered the Veflel, on the brims of which were engraven Zrizalchio's Name, and how many. ., Ounces of Silver they weighd, with little Bridges folder’d together, and on them Dor- mice, ftrew'd over with Honey and Pepper: There were alfo piping- hot Saufages on a Sil- ver Grid-iron, and under that Jarge Dam- fons, with the Kernels of Pomegranates. In this Condition we were when Trimalchia himfelf was waddled into the Chorus; and being ‘clofe bolfter’d with Neckcloths and Pillows to keep off the Air, we could not forbear laughing in fpight of our Teéeth: -For his-bald Pate peep’d out of 4 Scarlet Mantle, and over the load of Cloths he lay: + ‘under,46 ThWOK RS of under, there hung an Embroider'd Towel, with Purple Taffels and Fringes dingle dari- gle about it: He had alfo, on the little Fine ger of his left Hand, a large Ring of Gold, and on the extream Joint of the Finger next it, one leffer, which I took for all Gold 5 but at lat it appeared to be jointed together, witha kind of Stars of Steel: And that we tight fee thefe were not all his Gallantry, he ftripp’d histight Arm, on which he wore aGolden Bracelet, and an Ivory Circle, bound together with a glittering Locker, and a Me- dal at the end of it: Then picking his Teeth with a Silver Pin, I bad not, my Friends, faid he, any Inclination to have come among you fo - foon, but fearing my abfence might make you wait too long, I denyd my felf my own fatisfattion ; however, fuffer me to make an end of my Game, There followed hima Boy with an Inlaid Table and Chryftal Dice ; and I took notice . Of one thing more pleafant than the refts for inftead of black and white Counters, his were all of Silverand Gold. . In the mean while he was fquandring his Heap at Play, and we were yet picking a bit | here and there, a Cupboard was brought in with a Basket, in which was a Hen Carved in Wood, her Wings lying round and hol- low, as fitting on Brood; whetf prefently the Confort ftrook up, and two Sérvants fell a fearching the Straw under her, and taking out: fome Pea-hens Eggs, diftributed them round the Company: AtthisTrizalchio chang- ing Countenance, I commanded my. Friends, alPeTRonius ARBITER 47 faid he, the Tex to be fet with Peabens Eggs, and by Hercules, I've afraid they are half Hatcht » however we'll try if they ave yet fit to be Eaten, The thing we receiv'd wasa kind of Shell, of at leaft fix Pound weight, made of Pafte, and moulded into the Figure of an Egg, which we eafily broke ; and, for my own part, I was like to have thrown away my fhares for it feemed to me to have a Chick in it; till hearing a Gueft who usd to Eat at that Ta- ble fay, There was fome good Bit or other in the Egg-fbell 5 \ fearch’d further into it, and found a delicate fat Wheat-ear in the middle of a-well-pepper’d Yolk : On this Trimalchio {topped his Play for a’ while, and’asking the like for himfelf, declar’d, If avy of us would have more Metheglin, it was at our Services when of a fudden the Mufick gave the Sign, and the firft Courfe-was fcrambled away by a Company of Singers and Dancers; but in the. Buftle, it happening that a Dith fell on the Floor, a Boy took it up, and Trimalchia obferving the Action, gave him a Box on the Ear, and commanded him to throw it down again ; and prefently the Groom of the Cham- ber came witha Broom and {wept away the Silver Dith, with whatever elfe had fallen from the Table. . : : When prefently came in two long-haird - Ethiopians, with {mall Leather Bottles, fuch as they carry Sand in to ftrew on the Stage, and gave us Wine to wath our Hands, - but no one offer'd us Water. We all admiring the Finicalnefs of the Entertainment, Maw, fai48 Th WORKS of . faid he, is alover of Fuftice, and therefore let every one have d Table to himfelf; for having siore Elbow-roou, thefe nafty ftinking Boys will be le{s troublefome to us: And thereupon large donble-eard Veflels of Glafs clofe plaifter’d over, were brought up, with Labels about their Necks, upon which was this Infcrip- tion. . OPIMIAN MUSCADINE OF AN HUN- DRED YEARS OLD. While weé were reading the Titles, Trz- walchio clapped his Hands, and Alas, alas, faid he, that Wine fhould live longer than Man! Wine is Life, and we'll try if this bas liv'd éver fince the Confulfoip. of Lucius Opimius, "Tis right Opimian, and therefore make ready x that which I gave my Guefts pefterday was not fogenerous as this, tho’ they were Perfons of bet-- ter Quality that fupp'd with we. We drank, and admir'd every thing s when in came a Servant with a Silver Pup- pet, fo jointed and put together, that it turn= ed every way; and being more than once thrown upon the Table, caft it felf into feve- tal Figures; on which Trizealchio came out with his Poetry: Let's do what we can, ! This Life's but a Span, — Expofed to Trouble and Sorrows, TheiéPerronius ARBITER, 49 Ther drink my good Friends, , ' E’re our Merriment ends, For me nsay be dead by to Morrow, The Applanfe we gave him was follow’d with.a Service, but refpecting the place not fo confiderable as might have been expected: However, the Novelty of the thing drew every Man’s Eye upon it; it was a large Charger with the twelve Signs of the. Zo- diak round it; upon every one of which the Mafter-Cook ‘had laid fomewhat or other fuitable to the Sign: Upon Aries,.a fort of - Peafe which refembled a Rams-héads upon Taurus.a piece of Beef; upon Gert Rumps and Kidneys; upon Cancer a Coronet; upon Leo an African Egg, upon the Virgiz a lufty Boy; upon Libra a pair of Scales,’ in one of © which was a Tart, in the other a Cuftard ; upon Scorpio a Pilchard, upon. Sagittary a, Grey hound; upon Cepricora a Lobfter; up- on Aquarius a Goofe ; upon Pifces two Mul- lets; and in the middle a Plat of Herbs, cut like a green Turf, and over them an Honey- comb, During this,.a black Boy carryd about Bread in a Silver Oven, and with a hideous Voice, forced a Bawdy Song from a Boffoon that ftunk like Affe Fetida. a When 7rimalchio perceived we lookt awry on fuch courfe Fare, Come, come, {aid he; fall to, this is our ntannér of Eating. Nor had he fooner uttered thefe Words, than the fourth Confort {track up; at which the Waiters fella dancing; and took off the upper50 Th WORKS of upper part of the Charger, under which was a Dit of cramm’d Fowl, and thé hinder Paps of a Sow that had Farrowed but a Day before, well powder'd, and in the middle a Hare, larded with Finns of Fifh on both fides, chat it look’d like a Flying-Horfe sand on the fides of the Fith four little Images, that fpouted a Relifhing Sauce on fome Fith that lay near them, brought from the River Ex. ripus, , . “We alfo feconded the Shout begun by the Family, and: fell merrily aboard this; and Tyimalchio no \efs pleasd that our -felves, éryed Git, at which thé Mufick founding again, the Carver humour'd it, and cnt up the Meat with fach Antick Poftures, you'd have thought him a Car-man fighting to the Mofick of a Bagpipe. - oo - Neverthelefs Trigatchio in a“lower Note eryed out again Cut: 1 hearing the word fo often repeated, fufpecting there might be fome Joke init, was not afhamed fo ask him that fate-next above nie, what it méant? And he that had been often prefent at the like Ex- ‘preflions, You fee, faid he, bine that Carves about, bis Name is Cutter ; and as often as be fags Guts, be both Calls and Commands. - The Humcur fpoiled my Stomach for Eating; but turning to him that 1 might learn more, 1 talkt pleafantly to him at a diftance, and at laft asked him who that Wo- man was that fo often fcutled up and down the Room? ItPerrontus ARBITER §t It is, faid he, Triwalchio’s Wife, her Name is Fortunate, the counts her Morey by the Bufhel; but what fort of a Perfon think you fhe was a little while fince? Pardon me, Sir, you would riot have touch'd her with 4 pair of Tongs, but now, no one knows why or wherefore, fhe’s as twere got into Heaven ; and is Trimalchio's all ia all: \n (hort, if the fays it is Mid-night at Mid-day, ‘he'll be- lieve her. He’s fo very Wealthy, he can’t tell his Riches, but fhe has an Eye every . where ; and when you leaft think to meet her, the’s at your Elbow: She is 4 very Scold, and indifcreet, a meet Magpye in Beds whom fhe loves fhe likes, and whom fhe does not love the diflikes. . ‘ ’ Then for 7rimalchio,he has tore Lands than a Crow can fly over; Bags upoii Bags: There lies more Silver ini his Porter’s Lodge, than any -oné Man’s Eftate is worth, And for his Family, Hey-day, hey-day, there isnot (by Hercules) one tenth of them that know theit. Mafter. In brief, there is not one of thofe Fools about him,. but he.can change him into a Cabbage ftalk. Nor has he occafion to buy any thing, he finds all things at his own Door; Wooll, Fifi, Pepper; nay, Hens- Milk; look about you and you'll find it. Ina word, time was, his Wool was none of the belt, and therefore he bought Rams at Turenttum to mend his Breed ; as in like ‘tanner he did by his Honey, by bringing his Bees from Athens. It is not long fince but he ferit to the Indies for Mufhroom- . Ea Seed :52 The WORKS of © Seed: Nor has he fo much as a Mule that did not come of a wild AfZ. Do you fee all thefe Quilts? there is not one of them whofe Wadding is not the fineft Comb'd Wooll, of Violet or Scarlet Colour, dy’d in Grain, O happy Man! but have a care how you de- {pife thofe Freed Men, they are rich Rogues : Look on him that fits at the lower end of the Table, he has now the Lord knows what; and ‘tis notlong fince he was not worth a Groat, and carried Billets and Fag- gots upon his Back: So it is faid, but 1 know nothing of it my felf, but by hear-fay, either he got in with an old Hog-grubber, or had todo with an Izcubus, and found a Treafures For my part, I envy no Man, if I get any: thing, ‘it is a Bie and a Knock. He lately _ fet up this Proclamation. C. POMPEIUS DIOCENES HAS SOME LODGINGS TO LET, FOR HE HATH BOUGHT A HOUSE. But what think you of Him ‘who fits in the place of. a Slave? how well was he once? I do not upbraid him: -He was worth a Hundred Thoufand Pounds, but has not now a Hair of his Head which is not Mortgaged ; nor, by Hercules, is it his own Fault: There is not a better humour’d Man than himfelf; but thofe Rafcally Freed Men have cheated him of all: For know, when the Pot xo longer Boyls, and a Man's Eftate declines, farewel Friends. And what Trade do you . thin.Perronius ARBITER 53 think he drove ? He was an Undertaker, and _ by the Gains of that Employment eat like a Prince: He had his Wild Boars ferved up covered: All forts of Paftry, Fith and ’ Wild Fowl, and Cooks for each fort of Pro- vifion :-More Wine was fpile under his Ta- ble, than moft Men have in their Cellars a meer Phantafm: And when his Eftate was going, and he fear’d his Creditors miglit fall upon him, he made an Audion under this Title: JULIUS PROCULUS WILL MAKE AN AUCTION, AND SELL SE- VERAL GOODS HE MAKES N USE OF. The Dith was by this time taken away, and the Guefts, grown mellow, began to talk of what was done abroad, when Trimalchio broke in upon us, and interrupted the Dif courfe; leaning on his Elbow, This Wine, faid he, is worth drinking, and Fifh muft {wim but do you think I am fatisfied with that part of your Supper you faw in the Charger ? Js Ulyfles zo better known 2 what then ; we ought to exercife our Brains as well as our Teeths and thew, that we are no¢ only lovers of Learning, but uriderftand it : Peace be with my old Tutor’s Bones, who made me a Man amongft Men: No body can tell me any thing that is New to mes for, like him, I aim Mafter of the Pratticks, ER) This54 The WORK S of This Heaven that’s inhabited by twelve Gods, turns it felf into as many Figures ; and now “tis Aries: He that is born un- der that Sign has much Cattel, a great “deal of Wooll, isa Blockhead, a Brazen-face, and will be certainly a Cuckold: There are many Scholars, Advocates, and Horned Beafts, come into the World under this Sign. We applauded our Nativity-cafter's pleafante nefs, and he went on again: The whole Heaven is under Taurvs, and no wonder it bore Football-players, Herdfmen, and fach as can fhift for themfelves. Under Gemini are often foaled Coach-horfes, Oxen calv’d, and fach are born as can claw both fides. ¥ was born my felf under Cencer, and therefore ftand on many Feet, as having large Poffeffions both by Sea and Land, For Cazcer fuits one as well as the other; and therefore I put nothing upon him, that I might not prefs my own Geniture. “Under Leo, Spendthrifts and Bullies ; Under Virgo Women, Runagates, and fuch as wear Iron Garters: Under Libra Butchers, Apotheca- ries, and Men of Bafinefs: Under Scorpio, Poifoners and Cut-throats: Under Sagittary, fuch as are Goggle-ey'd, Herb-women, and Beggars of Bacon: Under Capricorn, poor belple{s Bafcals, to whom Nature bequeath'd Horns to defend themfelves: Under A- guariae, Cooks and Paunch-bellies: Under Pifces, Caterers and Orators: And fo the World goes round like a Mill, and is never witboyt its Mifchief, Men continually on , ith,PeETRONIUS ARBITER. §5 perith, But for that Tuft of Herbs in the middle, and the Honey-comb upon it, I” do nothing without juft reafon for it: Our Mother the Earth is in the middle, made round like an Egg, and has all good things ia her felf, like a Honey-comb. Moft Learnedly, we all cry’d; and lifting our Hands, fwore, neither Ptolemy nor Co- pernicus were to be compared with him ; till at laft other Servants came in and fpread Coverlets on the Beds, on which were Paint- ed Nets, Men in Ambufh with Hunting- poles, and whatever appertain‘d to Hunting: Nor could we yet telt what to make of it; when we heard. a great Cry without, anda pack of Beagles came and ran round the Table; after this Frolick was over, a large . Dith was fet before us, and in it a mighty Boar, with a Cap on his Head, (fuch ag Slaves, at their making Free, do ufually wear as tokens of Liberty) on his Tusks hung two Wicker Baskets, the one full of Dates, the other of Almonds; and: about him lay little Pigs made of Sweet-meats, as if they were at Suck: They fignified aSow — had Farrowed, and hung there as Prefents for the Guefts to carry home with them. To the cutting up this Boar, there came (nothe that had ferved up the Fowl as before, but) a two-handed Fellow with a {winging long Beard, Buskins on his Legs, and a {hort Embroidered Coat ; who drawing bis Wood- Knife, made a large Hole in the Boar’s Side, , out of which flew a number of Black-birds, oo E4 | which56 Th WORKS of which were caught in a trice as they flutter'd about the Room, by fome Fowlers, who ftood in réadinefs for that purpofe. On which, Trimalchio order'd to every Man his Bird ; and, See, faid he, What hind of Acrons this Wild Boar fed on : When -prefently the Boys took off the Baskets, and diftributed the Dates and Almonds among the Guelts. In the mean time, I, who had private Thoughts of my own, was much concerned, to know why the Boar was brought. in with a Cap-upon his Head ; and therefore havin {pun out the Thread of my Difcourfe, I to} my Interpreter what troubled me: To which he anfwer'd, a very Novice can explain to ou what it means, for there's no Riddle in it, ut ’tis as clear asthe Sun: This Boar ftood the Jaft of Yefter-night’s Supper, and difmifs'd by the Guefts, returns now as a Free-man among us. Icurft my felf for a Blockhead, and asked him no more Queftions, that. he might not think I had never before eaten with Men of Fathion. : , Before we bad made an end of our Dif- courfe, in came a handfome Boy with a Wreath of Vine-Leaves and Ivy about his Head, calling himfelf now and then Browns, another time Eyceus, and prefently he faid his Name was Ewbyzs, (feveral denominations of Bacchus) he‘ carried about with him a Salver of Grapes, and with a clear Voice, repeated fome of his Mafter's Poetry, at which Tr- walchio turning to him, Dionyfus, faid he, fe thou Liber, (i.e.) Free, (another Name of oo 2 Bacchus)Perronius ARBITER, 57 Bacchus) whereupon the Boy took the Cap from off the Boar’s Head, and putting it on his own, Trimalebioadded, Tou will not desi me, but I have a Father, Liber. We all praifed the Conceit, and foundly kiffed the Boy as he went round us. This Scene being over, Trialchio rofe up and went to the Clofe-ftool: we alfo being left at liberty withouta Tyrant, fell to fome Table-talk. When prefently one calling for a Bumper, TheDay, faid he,is nothing, ‘tis Night before a Gat can lick her Ear, and concluded it beft to go ftreight from Bed to Board.’ We have had a great deal of Froft, the Bagrio has fearce heated me: but a merry Bottle is Meat, Drink: and Cloaths: For my part, I have wound up my Bottom, the Wine is got into my Pericranium; 1 am down-right Dunfta- le—— . Then Selucus took up the Cudgels, And 1, faid he, do not bath every Day, for he where I ufe to bathe isa Fuller: Cold Wa- ter has Teeth in it, and my Head grows ‘every Day more wafhy than others but when I have got my Dofe in my Guts, I bid defiance to the Weather ; But, faith, I was at a Funeral, Cryfanthis has breathed his laft: Well, reft his Soul, bé was an ho- ~ neft Fellow, ‘tis not long fince we were drinking together, and methinks I talk with him now. Alas, alas! we ‘are but Bubbles, meer Mites, yet they have fomewhat in them; but we are meer emptinefs. . Yorn . ay58 Th WORKS of fay he would not be rul'd; yet not a drop - of Water or crumb of Bread went down his Throat for five Days : Well, but he is departed, fome fay he dyed of the Dottor, but I am of opinion his time was come ; for an honeft Phyfician is a great Comfort. However he was decently carried out of his Honfe with a rich Pall over the Coffin, and mightily lamented: He made fome of his Servants free; but his Wife feem’d little troubled. You'll fay again, he was not kind to her; but Women are a fort of Kites that will eat more than a Man can give them, and ald Love is foon cold. At this Péileros grew troublefome, and cry'd out, Let us remember the Living ; He enjoy’d himfelf whilft he liv'd, and ashe liv’d well fo he dy’d well; and what has he now that any Man moans the want of? He came from nothing, and to his dying-day would have taken a Farthing from a Danghil with hisTeeth ; therefore, as he grew up, he grew like a Honey comb. He -dy'd worth the Lord knows what, all ready Money. Bue tothe matter ; I haye eaten a Dog’s Tongue, . and dare {peak truth: He hada foul Mouth, was ail Babble, a very Make-bate, nota Man: His Brother was a brave Fellow, a Friend to his Friends,. of an open Hand, and kept a full Table; He did not order his Af fairs fo well at firft as he might have done, but the firt Vintage made him up again, for he fold what Wine he would; and what kept up.his Chin’ was the expectation of a . , Re-q Perronius ARBITER 59 Reverfion ; the Credit of which brought hitn more than was lett him, but his Brother tay king a Pett at him, devifed the Eftate to I know not what Baftard: He flies far that flies his Relations, Befides, this Bro- ther of his had Whifperers about-him, that were back friends to the other * But he fhall never do right that is quick of belief, efpecially in matters of Bufinefs and yet, ‘tistrue, he'll be counted wife while he lives, to whom the thing, whatever it be, is given; not that he ought to have had.it. He was, without doubr, one of Fortune’sSons; Lead in his Hand would turn to Gold, and without trouble too, where there are nct Rubbsin the way. And how many Years think you he liv’d? Seventy-odd 5 but he was as hard as Horn, bore his Age well, and as black as a Crow. , I knew him fome Years ago an Oil-man, and to his lat a good Womans Man s but withal fuch a Mifer, that, by Hercules, 1 thitk -he left not a Dog in his Houfe. He was alfo a gteat Whore-mafter, and a Fuck of all Trades, nor do I condemn him for’t, for this was the only Secret he kept to him- felf and carry’d with him. Thus Phileras, and Ganmiedes as follow- eth: Ye talk of what concerns neither Hea-. ven nor Earth, when in the mean time no Man regards the fearcity of Provifions: I could not, by Hercules, get a piece of Bread’ to Day; and how do you. think this came to pafs? Why the drought continues: For my part, I have not fill'd my Belly. this oo Twelye-60 = ThWORKS of Twelvemonth: A plague on thefe Clerks of the Market, the Baker and they juggle together, Claw meand [ll claw thee, which makes the poorer fort ftarve, whilft Rich Perfons make Holiday all the Year..Oh that we had thofe Lyons I now find here, when I came firft ofit of Afz, that had been to live: Theinner part of Sicily had the like of them, but they fo handled the Goblins, even Jupi- ter bore them no Good-will. I remember Safnius, when he was a Boy, he !lv’d by the Old Exchange; you'd have taken him for a Pepper-corn rather than a Man; where-ever he went the Earth parch’d under him; yet he was a Gncere honeft Fellow at bottom; one might depend on him; a Friend to bis Friend, and one you might boldly truft in the Dark. But how behav‘d-he bimfelf on the-Bench 2 He carry’d all things before him? made no ftarch’d Speeches, but was downe. tight, and acted himfelf what he perfuaded others to: But at the Barr he founded like a Kettle-drum, and never feign’d himfelf Sick forthe matter. 1 fancy he waslike a French- man in his Temper; for he was fo wonder- fnl civil, fo ready to falute us by onr Names, we imagin’d him one of us. In his time Bread was as cheap as Water, a Half-peny Loaf would have given a Man:a Breakfaft ; but now a Sheeps-head will fetch a Shilling:. Alas, alas! the times are every Day worfe and worfe, like a Cows Tail, we grow down- ward: And why all this> We have a Clerk ‘of the Market not worth a Ruth, and values te ‘ morePerronrus ARBITER, 61. more the getting of a Penny than the Lives of all Mankind: "Tis this makes him laugh in his Sleeve; for he gets as much Money in a Day as would purchafe an Eftate: I know. very well how ‘he got the Fortune he is Ma- fer of ; but if we were Men, he would not’ enjoy himfelf as he does; but now the Peo- ple are grown to this pafs, that they are Lyonsat home, and Foxes abroad: For my part, I have eaten up my Cloaths already, and if Corn holds at the rate it does, I thall, be fore’d to fell my Houfe and all: For what will become of us, if neither Gods nor Men have Mercy on us? Let me never ‘be happy I don’t believe all this proceeds from Hea- ven; for no body believes there is a God ; noone keeps a Faft, or values Fupifer of a Hair, but all ftop their Ears to good Advice, and only trouble their Heads about what they are worth. Time was when our Ma- trons went in Proceffion with bare Feet, and their Hair difhevel’d, then with fincere Minds . they pray’d to Heaven for Rain, and forth- with it rained by Pitchers-full; then, or ne- ver, were good times, every body’ was.in a - good Humour: Now we have no more Re- verence for the Gods, than for fo many Mice; they are bound Hand and Foot, and by rea- fon of our Irreligion and Prophanenefs, our ‘Fields and Meadows languish and are bar- ren, More civilly, 1 befeech you, faid Echiow the Conftable of the Hundred; the worfe Luck now, the better another time, faid the Clown6. ThWOKRS of Clown when he loft his brindled Hogs What falls not out to Day may happen to. Morrow s and fo Life pafles away. By Her- cules, 4 Country is faid not to be the better fot having thany People in it, tho’ ours at prefent labours under that difficulty, ‘but it is no fault of hers: We muft not be nice, Heaven is equally diftarnit every wheres were you ih avother place, you'd fay Hogs walked here ready drefs'd: Aad now I think on’t, we fhall Kave an excellent Show thefe Holy- days, a Fencing-prize exhibited to the Peo- ‘ple; not of Slaves bought for that purpofe, wut it will confift of Freemen. Our Patron Titus bas a large Soul, but isa very Devil. in his Drink, and cares not a Straw whieh: fide gets the better : I think I-fhould know him, for I belong to him; he’s of a right Breed both by Father and Mother, no Mungril. They are well provided with Weapons, and will fight it out to’ the laft: The Stage will . look like a Butcher's Shambles, and he hag wherewithal to doit; his Father left him a vaft Sum, what tho’ he make Ducks and Drakes of a thoufand Pound, his Eftate will never feel it, and he always carries the Re- putation of it. He has his Waggon Horfes, a Woman-Carter, and Glyco’s Steward, who was caught kiffing his Miftrefs; what a bu- ftle’s here between Cuckolds and Cuckold- makers! Bunt this Glyco a damnable Rich . Huncks, condemn’d his Steward to: fight with Beafts ; and what was that but to exe pofe and make a Beaft of himfelf > Where ‘layPetRonivs ARBITER 63 lay thé Servant’s Crime, who pérhaps wase- blig’d to do whiat he did >? She rather deferv'd to be brain’d, than the Bull that toffed hers but he that cannot.come at the Breech, thrafhes atthe Pack-faddle: yet how could Glyco expect Hermogine’s Daughter thonld make a good End? fhe'd have skin'd a Flint; dike begets | its like : Glyco might do what he would with his own; but it will bea Brand on biti as long as he lives ; nor can any thing bat Hell blot.it out ; however every Man's Faults ate to himfelf. T-perceive now what Entertain- ment Mammea is like to give us’; he'll be at Two-pence Charges for me and my Com- pany; which if he does he will put Narbanus clean out of Favour ; for you muft know, he'll live at the fall height; yet, in truth, what good has he done ug? He gave usa Company of .pittifal Sword-players, but fo old and decrepit, that had you breath’d on them, they'd have fallen flat on their Faces: f have f¢en many better at a Funeral Piles -he would not bé at.the charge of Lamps for them; you'd have taken ‘em for a parcel of Dunghil Cocks fighting in the Dark: one was a downright Fool, and gouty into the bar- © gain another Crump-footed, and a third half dead, and Ham-ftrang: There was one of them a Thracian, that made a Figure, and kept up to the Ruleof Fighting y but, ‘upon the whole mattter, all of them were parted, and nothing came of this great block-headed Rabble, but a down-right running away :° And yet, faid he, [made you aShow, and! clap amongtt64 Th WORKS of amongft the ret for Company but caft up the Account, I gave more. than I receiv’d ; one good turn’ requires another, You Aga- memnon (eem to tell me, what would that troublefome Fellow be at; becaufe you can {peak and not do, you are not of our Form, and therefore ridicule what poor Men fay; tho, fet afide your Book-learning, we know you are a meer Blockhead, Where lies the matter then? let me perfwade you to take a Walk into the Country, and fee our Cottage, you'll find there fomewhat to eat ; a Chicken, a few Eggs, or the like: The- bad Weather had like to have broke us all, yet. well find enough to fill our Bellies, Your Scholar, my Boy Cicero, is mightily iniproved, and if he lives, you'll have a Pu- pil after your own Heart; heis pretty forward already, and whatever {pare-time he bas, he: {pends it at his Book: He’s a witty Lad, well- featur'd, takes a thing without much Study, tho’ yet he is but fickly: I kilf'd three of his Lianets the other day, and told him the Weafels had eaten them; yet-he found: other things to play with, and bas a pretty knack at Painting : He has a perfe Averfion to Greek but feems better inclin’d to Latin ; tho’ the Mafter he now has humours him in the other; nor can he be kept to one thing, but is fill craving more, and will not take pains with any. There is alfo another of . this fort, not much troubled with Learning, but very diligent, and teaches more than he knows himfelf: He comes to our Honfe on Holi-PérkonrUs AkBIrTER, 65. Holidays; and’ whatever. you give him he’s. contented ; I therefore bought the Boy fome Ruled Books, becanfe I would have him get a fmattering in Accounts and the Law; it. Will be his own another day: He has Learn-: ing enough already, but if helofes what he has got I defign him for a Trade, a Berber, a Parfor, or a Lawyer, which nothing but the. Devil can take from him : How oft have I: told him, Thou art, Sirrah, my firk begot-: ten, and believe thy Father, whatever thou learnelt ‘tis all thy own: See, there’s Sit Clod-. pate the Lawyer, if he had not been a Scho- _lar be might have ftarved, of have hang'd himfelf; but now do but look upon his Pur- ple Robes, Tl warrant he thinks himfelf as: good as my Lord Chief-Juftice. Letters area: Treafure, and a Trade never dies,’ - To this, or the like purpofe, we were ban+ dying: it about, when Trimalchio retutn'd, and ‘having wipd the Ointment from his Face, and wafh’d his Hands, Pardon me, my Friends, faid he, I have been Coftive for feveral Days, and miy Phyficians were to feek about the matter, when a Suppofitory of Pomegratiate Wine, with Turpentine and Vinegar relievd me; and now I hope my" Belly may be afham’d if it keep rio better Order; for fometimes I have fuch a rumblin in my Guts, you'd think an Ox bellow'd; © and therefore if any of you has: amind to eafe himfelf, he need not bluth for-the mat- ter ;. there's not one of us born without fome defect or. other, and I think no Torment OF . greater66 Th WORKS of greater than wanting the benefit of going to Stool, which is the only thing even Jupi- ter himfelf can’t prevent: What do you grin, Fortunate, you that break me fo often of my Sleep by Night? T never deny’d any Man to do that-in my Room might pleafure him- felf; and Phyficians will not allow us to keep. any thing in our Bodies longer than needs muft; therefore if you have any further oc-. cafion, every thing is ready in the next Room: Water, Chamber-pots, Clofe-ftools, or what- ever elfe may be needful; believe me, be- iag hard bound, affects the Head, and di- fturbs the whole Body; I have known many a Man.loft by it, when they- have been fo modelt to themfelves as not to tell what they ailed. We thank'd him for his Franknefs, and the Liberty he gave‘us, and to fupprefs our Laughter, fet the Glafs abont again; nor did we yet know that in the midft of fuch Dainties we were, as they fay, to clamber another Hill ; for upon the flourifh of Mu- fick the Cloth being taken away,’ there were broughé in three fat Hogs with Collars and Bells about their Necks; and he that had the charge of them told us, the one was two Yearsold, the other chree, and the third full grown. I took it at firft to be a Company of Tumblers, and that the Hogs, as the man- ner is, were to have fhewn us fome Tricks, till Trimalchio breaking in upon my Expettation, Which of them, faid he, will you have:for Supper? for Cocks, Pheafants, and thetike, are uePiraonrus Anirik. 69 but Country Fare, but nly Cooks have Cop- pers will boila Calf whole. And therewith commanding a Cook to be call’d for, “he . prevented our Choice by-ordering him to kill the largeft, and with a loud Voice askd him, Of what Rank of Servants in that Houfe he was? to which he anfwering, Of the for- ticth : Were you bought, faid the other, or born in my Houfe? Neither, faid the Cook, but left you by Panfa's Teftatnent. See then, faid Trimalchio, that you drefs it as it thould be, or 'l fend you to the Galleys. Ori which the Cook being fenfible of his Powet, went into the Kitchin to mind his Bufinefs, . But Trimalchio turning to us. with a plea- fanter Iook, ask’d us if the Wine pleafed us, ifnot, faid he, Tl have ie chang’d ; and if it does, Jet me fee it by your drinking: I thank the Gods I do not buy it, but have every thing that may get an Appetite growing on my. own Grounds hard by the City, which no Man that I know of has but iny felf; and yet it has been taken for Burgindy and Chant« paigne. ¥ have a Project to joyn Sicily to my Lands on the‘Continent, that when 1 have a ifind to go into Africa, TE may Sail by my own Coafts, But prithee, Agamemztox, tell me what moot-point was it you atgued to. day 5 . for tho’ I plead no Caufes my felf, yet I have had a (hate of Letters in my time ; and that You may not think me out of Love with them now, I have three Libraries, the one Greek; the other two Latin; therefore, as you love me, tell me, What was the ftate-of the Que- Fa ftion :68 The WORKS of ftion: The Poor and the Rich are Enethies; faid Agamemnon : And what isPoor, an{wer'd Trimalchio 2? Spoke like a Gentleman, reply'd Agamemnon, But making nothing ‘ef the matter, If it be fo, faid Trimalchio, where lies the Difpute’? and if it be not fo, ’tis no- thiog, — Sn While we all humm’d ‘this and the like . ftuff, I befeech you, faid he, my dear 4ga- mennon, do you remember the Twelve La- bours of Hercules,.or the Story of Ulpffes, How a Cyclops put his Thumb out of Joint with a Mawkin? [ve read fuch things in Homer when I was a Boy; nay, faw my felf the Sybil of Cuma hanging in.a Glafs Bottle: And when the Boy. ask d her, Sybil, wat would you have? She anfwer'd, I would 1e. " . ‘~He had not yet ron to ‘the end of the Rope, when an overgrown Hog was brought tothe Table. We all wonderd at the Ex- pedition which had been usd, thinking aCa- pon'could not have been drefsd in that time: and what increas'd our Surprize was, this Hog feem’d Jarger than the Boar which was jaft now brought beforeus: When Trimalebio Jooking more intent upon him, What, what, faid be, are not his Guts taken out? No, by Hercules, they ‘are not: Bring hither, biing hither this Rogue of a Cook. And when the Fellow ftood hanging his Head before us, excufing himfelf, that he was fo much in hafte heforgot it. How, forgot it, cry’d out Trimalchio! Do you think he has given itno s easPerronius ARBITER. 69 Seafoning, is it neither pepper’d or falted > Strip him: When in a trice it was done, and the Gook was. plac’d. betwixt two Executionérs: We all of us began to. inter- ceed for him, as a Fault which might now. and then happen, and therefore begged his pardon ; but if ever he did the like, again, there was no body would fpeak for him‘s’ tho’, for my part, I think he deferv'd what he got: And fo turning to Agamsemnon’s Ear, This Fellow, faid-I, mutt be reckon’d a care- - Jefs Rafcal ; could any one forget to Bowel a Hog? I would not; by Hercules, ‘have for: . given him, if-he had €rvd me fo in the dreffing. of a Mackeril, . But Trimalchio, -it feems, had fomewhat elfe in his Head; for burfting into a Laughter, You, faid he, that have fo fhort'a Memory, ‘let's fee-if you can do your Office. On which the Cook; having put on his Coat again, took up a Knife, and pretending to tremble, ripp'd up the Hog’s Belly, from whence immediately tumbled out a heap of Hogs-puddings.and Saufa- es. Co te, After this, as it had been done of it felf, the Family gave a Shout, and cry'd out, Health and Profperity to Caius! The Cook alfo. was prefented with Wine, a Silver Cor ronet, and aDrinking-bowl, on a broad Co- rinthian Plate: which Agamemnon,more nat- towly viewings I-am, faid Zrimalchio, the a: Perfon that has the trae Corinthian Vele cls. st Sp SF ,70 Th WORK S of T expected that according to his ufual In- folénce, he would have told usthey had been brought from Corinth ; but be purfued his Difconrfe with more Difcretion :. And perhaps, faid he, youll ask me why I am the only Perfon that have them, And why the Copper-fmith from whom I buy them, is called Corivthus? and what is Co- viathian but what is made by Corinthus ? And to thew ‘you I am a Man of Letters, Fil'tell you from whence the Word Coriz- thian takes it Original. When Troy was tae ken by Hannibal a cunning mifchievous fort ofa Fellow, he gathered all the Gold, Silver and Brazen Statues together he could-find, and caafed Fire to be fet tothe Pile.. The . Statues melting, intérmixt their differtnt Me- tals together, of which the Goldfmiths made Candlefticks, Sconces and Salvers-; fo that Corinthian Veflels ate a Mifcellany of ‘Gold, Silver and Brafs; but neither this Or: that Metal in particular, patdon me what I'fay’; Llike Glafs Cups better, others are not of my Opinion: If Glafs was not fo brittle, I would rather have it than Gold ; but ifow ‘tis of a very inconfiderable value, oe : There was an Artift who'made Glafs Vef- fels fo tongh and hard, that they were’ no more to be broken than Gold and Silver ones: It-fo-happen’d, that the fame Perfon having made a very fire Glafs Mag, fit-for no Man, as he thought, lefs than Céfar him- felf, he went with his Prefent to the Enipe- ‘Four, and had admittance; both the GiftPetronius ARBITER 94 and the Hand of. the Workman was com- mended, and the defign:of the Giver accept- ed. This Artift, that he might turn the ad-- miration of the Beholders into aftonifhment, and work himfelf the more into the Empe- ror’s favour, beg’d the Glafs out of Cefa's Hand ; and having received it, threw it with fitch a force againft a paved Floor, that the moft folid and firmeft Metal could not but have received fome hurt thereby. Cejar alfo was equally amaz’d and troubled at the A@ion; but the other took up the Mug from the Ground, not broken but only a little buldg’d, as if the Subftance of Metal had puton the likeriefs of Glafss atid there- with taking a Hammer out of his Pocket; he hammer'd it as if it had been a Brafs Kettle, and beat out the Bruife: and now the Fel- low thought himfelf in Heaven, in having, as he fancied, gotten the Acquaintance of Cefar, and the Admiration. of all Mankind ; But it fell out quite contrary to. his. expecta tion: .Cefar asking him if any one knew how to make this malleable Glafs but him- felf, and he anfwering in the Negative, the Emperor commanded his Head to be ftruck off ; For, faid -he, if this Art were once known, Gold and Silver will be of no more efteem than Dirt. As for Silver, I affect it s I have-feveral Water-pots more or lefs, whereon is the Story how Caffedra kill her Sons, and the dead Boys are fo well Embofs'd, you'd think them teal. “T have alfo a drinking Cup left:me by . . F4 an’72 Th WORKS of - an Advocate of mine, where Dedalus puts - Niobeintothe Trojan Horfe, as al{o that other of Hermerotes, that they may ftand as an Evidence there is truth in Cups, and all this Plate is Mafly ; nor will I part with what I underftand of them at any rate. ’ While he was thus talking, a Boy let fall a Cup ont of his Hand ; on which, Trialchio Jooking ‘over his Shoulder at him, bad “him "be gone, and kill himfelf immediately ; for, Maid ‘he, thou art carelefs and.mind’t not what thou art about. The Boy hung his . Lip, and befought him ; but he faid, To what end dof thou intreat me, as if I requird fome difficult matter? I only bid thee ob- tain this of thy felf, that thou be not care- lefs ‘again: But at laft he forgave. him upon our Entreaty. ‘Hereupon the Boy run ‘round the Tableand cry’d, Water without doors, and Wine within. We all took the Jeft, but more efpecially Agamennon, who knew on what account he had been invited thither. ‘ . Triaalchio in the mean time hearing him- felf .comménded, drank more heartily and was metrier. than before ; and being within an Ace of quite ont, Will none of you, faid he, defire my Fortuzata to Dance > Believe me, ‘there’s to one leads up a Country Dance with a better Grace? And with that flon= tithing with’ bis Hand, he begaii to a& the part of a‘Scaramouch, the Family all the whilefinging, Youth it felf, woft exattly Youth it felf; and he had gotten into the middle a of the Room, “but that Fortunate whi(per’d. » hin,Perrontis Anpires, 3 him, and [believe told him, fuch Whimfies did not become his Gravity : Nor was there any thing moré unfteady than his Humour’; for one while he inclin’d to the Advice of Fortunata, and another while to his natural Inclination : But what difturb’d the Pleafure we took to fee her Dance, was his Notary’s coming in; who, as they had beet the Ags ofa Commton- Council, read aloud. The Seventh of the Kalends of Auguft, born in Trimalchio's Mannour neat Cumanum, thirty Boysand forty Girls: There were alfo brought from the Threfhing-floor into the’ Granary, Five hundred thoufand Buthels of ‘Wheat. The fame day broke ont a Fire in-a Pleafure- Garden that was Pompey’s, which firlt began in one of the Bayliff's Houfes, - How’s this, faid Zrivalcbio! when were thofe Gardens bought for me? The Year before, anfwered his Notary ; and therefore not yet brought to Account. At this Zrimalchio fell into a Paflion ; And whatever Lands, faid he, thall be purcbafed for me heteafter, if 1 hear nothing of it in fix Months, let them never, I order you, be charg’d or brought to any Account of mine, Then alfo were read the Orders of the Clerks of the Market, and the Wills of his Forefters, Rangers, and. Park- -keepers, by which they: difinhetited their Relations, and with ample praife of him, declared Trimalchio their Heir. Next that, were recited the Names of his Bay- liffs ; and how one of them that made - his Circuits i in the Country, turmd off his Wife. for NN74 The WORKS of for having taking her in Bed with a Barber, ' We were inform d alfo, that the Door-keeper of his Baths was turi’d out of Office ; that one of his Auditors was found defeGive in his Accounts, and that the Difpute between the Grooms of his Chamber was ended. At laft came in the Dancers on the Rope; and a Punch-belly’d ‘Blockhead holding out a Ladder, commanded his Boy to hop upon evety Round of it finging, and todancea Jigg on the top, and then to tumble through burning Hoops of Iron with a Glafs in his Mouth. Trimalchio was the only perfon that lik d this Diverfion, but withal, he faid, he did not admire it, for there were only two Sights he was defirous to fee, and thofe were Flyerson the High-rope, and Cock-fighting ; and that all other Creaturés and Shows were Trifles: For, faid he, 1 bought once a Sett of Stroulers, and chofe rather to make them Merry-Andrews than Comedians and com- manded my Bag-piper to Sing in Latin to them. : a, While he was chattering at this rate, a Boy chanc'd to ftamble upon him, on which the Family gave'a Shriek ; the fame alfo did the Guefts ; not for fucha Beaft, whafe Neck they could willingly have feen broken, but for fear the Supper fhould have an unlucky end, and they be fore'd to lament the death of the Boy. : a : Whatever it were, Trimalchio gave a deep Groan, and leaning upon his Arm asif it had been hurt, the Phyficians ran ‘thick about im,Perronius Arbiter, _ him, and Fortwzate amonghk the foremok with her Hair about he Ears, and a Bottle of Wine in her Hand, Mill howling, mifera- ble unfortunate Woman fhe was! Undone, the was undone, : The Boy on the other hand, ran under onr Feet, and befeech’d us to procure him his Pardon: But I was much concern’ fd, left our Interpofition might make but a fcurvey end of the matter ; for the Cook that had for- gotten to disbowel the Hog was ftill in my Thoughts. I began therefore to look about the Room, for fear fomewhat or other might drop through the Ceiling; while the Servant that had bound up his Armin white inftead of fcarlet colour'd Flatinel, was foundly beaten : Nor was I wrong in my ConjeGture, for in lieu of another Courfe, came in an Order of Trimalchio’s, by which he gave the Boy his Freedom, that it might not be faid, fo Ho- nourable a Perfon had been hurt by hisSlave, We all.commended the A@ion, and. from therice fell into a Chat of the inftability of ‘all Humane Affairs, You're in the right, (aid Trimalebio, nor ought this Accident to pafs . without Recording; and fo calling for the Journal, he commanded itto be Enter’d; and prefently, without much thinking, tumbled out thefe Verfes, ; "What's76 ThWORKS of What's leaf expelted falls into our Difh, * And Fortune's more indulgent than our Wifh Therefore, Bay, fill the generous Wine about. - This Epigram gave us an occafion to talk of the Poets, and Marfas the Thracian was thought moft deferving the Bays, till Fri- malchio (turning to one in the Company) 1 befeech you, faid he, tell me the difference between Cicero the Orator, and Publius the Po- et? for my part, I think one was the more Eloquent, the other the honefter Man; for what could be faid better than this? . To pleafe her Appetite crau'd Peacocks die, ¢ Whofe gaudy Plumes a modify Difh fupply. For ber the Guinnea Hew and.Capon's dreft : Now froking Rome grows weak with Luxury, The Stork it felf for Rome’s luxurious Ta ifle, Muft in a Cauldron build its bumble Neff. : To pleafe each Senfé to foreign Worlds we hafte, Perfume our Wines, aind by our Smell we Tafte, * Now Ceylon Spice ; Anchovies Spain beftows: For us the Orange and the Limon grows, Ta fetch Cavier we found Geneva’s Lake, Aud our own Shoars luxurioufly forfake,:-.\ The Grecians Oyl, the Germans Hams afford: Calabria Wine, to cheer the wanton Lord. High-relifo'd Sauce, unknown in happier times, We fetch from Spain and Sunbarat Indian Chimes. BansPerronivus ARBITER, 77 NN Bambooes and Mangoes loaded Nature waffe, * Decay our Strength, yet urge the wearied Taftes But now we are talking, which, in the O- pinion of the Learned, are the moft difficult Profeffions to underftand? I. think a PhyGi- cian and a Banker: A Phyfician, becaufe he knows a Man’s very Heart, and when the Fits of an Ague will return; tho’ by the way, Ihate them mortally; for by their good will I fhould be always taking one Slip-fop or other: And a Banker, becaufe he'll find out a piece of Brafs, tho’ ’tis plated with Silver. “There are alfo brute Beafts which are labo- rious; to Oxen we are beholden for the Bread. we eat; and.to Sheep, for the Wooll that makes us fo fine. But, O horrid! we both: eat the Mufton, and make us warm with the Fleece. I take the Bees for Divine Creatures; they give us Honey, tho’ ‘tis faid they (tole it from Jupiter, and that’s the reafon why they Sting: For where-ever you meet any thing that’s {weet, you'll ever find a Sting at the end of it. ° He went fo far as to exclude Philofophers from Bufinefs, while the Memoiis of the Fa- mily were catrying round the Table, and a Boy, fet for that purpofe, read aloud the Names of the Prefents appointed for the Guelts to carry home with them. Wecked Silver, what can it not do! Then a Gammon of Bacon was fet on the Table, and above that feveral . fharp78 ThkWOKRS of fharp Sauees, a Night-cap for himfelf, Pud- ding-pies, and I know not what kind of Birds : There was alfo brought in a Rundlet of Wine, boiled off to a third part, and kept under Ground to preferve its frength: There were alfo feveral other things I can give no accountof; befides Apples, Scallions, Peaches, a Whip, a Knife, and fome Prefents had been ‘fenthim; as Sparrows, aFlye-flap, Raifons, Athenian Honey, Night-gowns, Judges Robes, dry'd Pafte, Fable-books, with a Pipe and a Foot-ftool: After which came in a Hare and a Sole-Fifh: And: there was alfo a Lamprey, a Water-rat with a Frog at his Tail, and a bundle of Beets. We langh’d at thefe Whims; there were five hundred more of them which I have now forgot: But when Afcyltas, who could not keep his Temper, fhakd-his fides and laught at every thing foheartily, that hewas ready tocry, aFree-man of Tiizalchio’s that fate next above me, grew hot upon’t: And what, faid he, thouSheep, what do you laugh at? does not this Magnificence of my Mafter pleafe you? you're richer than he, forfooth, and eat better every Day; by the God of this place, had I fate near enough you, I would have hit you a Box on the Ear before now: A hopeful Scoundrel, that mocks others; fome rafcally Night-walker, wot worth the very Urine be makes; and fhould I throw a Charm- ber-pot on his Head, he knows not where to dry himfelf. 1am not,by Hercules, quickly ans gry, yet Worms are bred even in tender le Ic-Perronius ARBITER. 79 He laughs, and what Jeft does he laugh at} what Wooll did his Father give for the Bants ling? Is he a Rowan Knight? Iam the Sort of a King. How came I then, fay yon, to ferve another > In this 1 humour’d my own Fancy, and had rather be a Citizen of Rowe, than a tributary King, and now hope to be- have my felf fo, 4s to be no Man's Jeft. walk like other Men, undifguiz’d, and can {haw my Head among the beft, for I owe no Man a Groat: I never had an Adion brought againft me in my life, nor can any. Man, abroad.or at home, fay to me, Pay me what thou oweft, I have purchafed a pretty Farm in the Country, and have every thing fuitable to it: 1 have twenty Perfons in Fa- mily, befides Dogs: I ranfom’d my Bond- Woman, left another fhould wipe his Hands on her. Smock ; and between our felves, the coft me more than I'll tell you at prefent, I was made a Captain of Horfe without buy- ingmy Commiflion, and hope to die in fach a manner, that I fhall have no occafion to blufh in my Grave : But you that are fo in- quifitive concerning others, never confider your felf: Can you fee a Mote ‘in another Man’s Eye, and not perceive a Beam in your: own? Your Mafter then is ancienter than your felf, an’t pleafe him; but yet thou, whofe Milk isnot yet out of thy Nofe, that canft not fay Boh to a Goofe, muft you be making Obfervations? Are you the wealthier Man? if you are fo, Dine twice, and Sup twice in a Day; for my part,-1 value my Credit80 Th WORKS of Credit more than Treafures: Upon the whole matter; where's the Man that ever -dunn’d me twice? ‘Thou Pipkin of a Man, more limber, but nothing better than a Strop of wet Leather, I have ferv’d forty Years in this Houfe, and came into it at Man’s Eftate; this Palace was not then built, yet 1 made it my bufinefs to pleafe my Mafter, a Perfor of Honour,. the parings of whofe Nails are more worth than thy whole Body. I met feveral Rubs in my way, but, by the help of my good Angel, I broke through them all: This ts truth) it is as eafieto make a Hunt- -ing-horn of a Sows Tail, as to geti his Family. What makes you in the ~vnnps now, like a Goat at aheap of Stones? ~ - On this Gito, who ftood behind him, burft out a laughing ; which the other taking no- tice of, fell upon the Boy; and, Do you, faid he, laugh too, you curl-pated chattering Magpye? Are thefe Holy-days? why how now, Sirrah, is it the Month of December 2 Are you come to Age yet, I pray > What would this Skeleton dropt from a Gibbit, this Crows-meat, be at? Til find fome way for Jupiter to plague thee, and him that taught thee no better manners, or never let me eat a good Meal’s-meat again: I could—Sirrah, but for che Companies fake I-{pare thee, tho’ either we are mightily in the wrong of it, or they are Sots themfelves that carry no better a Handover thee; for without doubt the Pro- verb is true, Like Mafter like Maz, 1am hot by Nature, and.can fcarce contain my felf; . give