Assessing Acceptability in

Translated Children's Books

Tiina Puurtinen
University of Joensuu

Abstract: The purpose of the study outlined in this article is to compare the
acceptability of style in two contemporary Finnish translations of L. Frank
Baum's The Wizard of Oz with special reference to the effect of sentence struc-
ture on acceptability. For the purposes of this study, acceptability is defined in
terms of the norms and expectations prevailing in the language and style of Fin-
nish children's fiction which include the requirements of a high degree of read-
ability and natural style. The hypothesis is that the use of complex nonfinite con-
structions in one translation decreases readability and consequently lowers
acceptability, whereas the other translation is expected to be more readable and
acceptable due to its natural, dynamic style characterized by simple finite con-
structions. The syntactic structures relevant to the readability of the translations
are analysed with the help of two linguistic models: a modification of phrase-
structure grammar and a propositional model. Three empirical tests, i.e. a cloze
test, subjective assessment and a reading test, provide information about the
readability and acceptability of the translations.

Résumé: Le présent article se propose de comparer l'acceptabilité du style de

deux traductions contemporaines du Wizard of Oz (L. Frank Baum) en finnois,
et d'examiner en particulier les effets produits sur elle par la structure phrasti-
que. L'acceptabilité est, en l'occurrence, définie en termes de normes et d'atten-
tes linguistiques et stylistiques imposées par la littérature finnoise pour enfants,
dont les exigences en matière de lisibilité et d'un style naturel sont élevées. Une
hypothèse est avancée: l'usage de constructions complexes et non finies dans la
première traduction entraîne une baisse de la lisibilité et, corollairement, de l'ac-
ceptabilité, tandis que la seconde traduction atteint un niveau supérieur de lisibi-
lité grâce à son style naturel et dynamique, dont témoignent les constructions
simples et finies. Deux modèles linguistiques servent à décrire les structures syn-
taxiques: une version modifiée du modèle des règles symagmatiques, et un mo-
dèle d'analyse propositionnelle. Trois tests empiriques (un "cloze" test de lisibi-
lité, un jugement subjectif et un test de lecture) informent sur la lisibilité et l'ac-
ceptabilité des traductions.

Target 1:2 (1989), 201-213. DOI 10.1075/target.1.2.05puu

ISSN 0924-1884 / E-ISSN 1569-9986 © John Benjamins Publishing Company
202 TllNA PUURTINEN

1. Introduction

Research into translated children's literature has not been very comprehen­
sive in the past, having for the most part concentrated on adaptation1 (see
for example Klingberg 1977, Stolt 1978, Weinreich 1978, Shavit 1981, Reiß
1982). Considerably less attention has been paid to the adjustment of style
and readability to the reading abilities of the young readers, although it is
often mentioned in passing that special care must be, and often is taken
when writing or translating for this particular audience because of their
imperfect reading abilities and experience of life. The aim of the study out­
lined in the following is to compare the acceptability of style in two contem­
porary Finnish translations of L. Frank Baum's The Wizard of Oz, and
especially to draw conclusions concerning the effect of sentence structure
on acceptability. Comparison of these two translations made by Marja
Helanen-Ahtola (Oz-maan taikuri) and Kersti Juva (Ozin velho) is likely to
yield interesting results since both translations were published in 1977, have
the same function and the same target group, i.e. children aged 7-12 years,
and can thus be assessed by the same criteria. The source text, which is a
classic fairy tale published at the turn of the century, is written in an easy,
simple style. The Finnish translators can therefore be expected to produce
an equally intelligible text characterized by simple sentence structure.
The term "acceptability" was introduced by Toury, who criticizes trad­
itional source-text-oriented theories of translation for their normative and
directive nature and inadequacy as a basis for a descriptive study of transla­
tions, and suggests instead a target-text-oriented approach, first and
foremost to literary translation. According to Toury, a translation belongs
primarily to the target literary system. Every translation occupies a position
between two extremes, adequacy and acceptability. A translator who aims
at an adequate translation observes the norms of the source language and
the source literary polysystem, which may make the translation incompat­
ible with the linguistic and literary norms of the target system. The accept­
ability of a translation, on the other hand, is determined by adherence to the
linguistic and literary norms of the target system (or a section, like genre or
subgenre, of it). A translation is usually a mixture of, or a compromise
between these two extremes. A high degree of acceptability is attained
when the target text is maximally compatible with the recipient literary sys­
tem (Toury 1980: 35-57). In the present study, acceptability is defined in
terms of the expectations and norms prevailing in the language and style of
 ACCEPTABILITY IN TRANSLATED CHILDREN'S BOOKS 203

Finnish children's fiction. The requirements of a high degree of readability

(i.e. the text being easy enough for children to read and understand) and
natural, unaffected style can be regarded as prevalent norms of children's
literature in Finland.

2. Purpose of the Study

It is hypothesized that Helanen-Ahtola's translation of The Wizard of Oz

(henceforth referred to as MHA) has a lower rate of acceptability than
Juva's translation (KJ), because she tends to use complex nonfinite con­
structions, such as contracted sentences and premodified participial attri-
butes which exhibit low redundancy and burden the reader's short-term
memory. A great number of such constructions in a text decreases readabil­
ity (see Puurtinen 1987, 1989), which can be considered one criterion of
acceptability of children's books. Other nonfinite forms in MHA include,
for example, 2nd infinitive instructives and verbal nouns with the ending
-minen, which are not likely to have a crucial effect on the readability of
the text, but which tend to make the style seem formal and static. KJ,
on the other hand, is expected to be more acceptable due to its natural,
dynamic style characterized by simple finite constructions, such as subordi­
nate and coordinate clauses, which are explicit, redundant and thus easy to
process while reading. In other words, such constructions have a positive
impact on readability and consequently on the acceptability of the transla­
tion. The hypothesis is that the acceptability of MHA is low because of its
complex sentence structures and its generally static style, as against the sim­
ple sentence structures and dynamic style dominant in KJ. The purpose of
the study is to test this hypothesis.
The nonfinite forms in MHA are in many cases formal equivalents of
certain syntactic structures used in the source text. Formal equivalents of
this kind come into being when the translator chooses certain target lan­
guage forms or structures because of their formal correspondence to some
source language forms or structures with no regard to the possibly different
distribution and/or functions of these forms in the two languages in ques­
tion (Toury 1980: 74). This may result in deviations from the textlinguistic
norms of the target literary system. Two examples of formal equivalents to
be found in MHA are given below (examples 1 and 2), preceded by the
source text version and followed, for the sake of comparison, by the corres-
204 TllNA PUURTINEN

ponding expressions in KJ. The constructions referred to have been

italicized.
(1) . . . but surely there is no use for a Scarecrow stuck on a pole in the middle
of the river, (source text, no page number; past participle)
. . . mutta keskelle jokea seipään päähän joutuneella Variksenpelättimellä ei
todellakaan ole mitaan merkitysta. (MHA, 56; premodified participial attri-
bute)
. . . mutta sellaisesta variksenpelätistä, joka roikkuu kepjn nendssd keskelld
jokea, ei ole mitään hyötyä. (KJ, 56; relative clause)
(2) "Oh dear! oh dear!" cried Dorothy, clasping her hands together in dismay;
. . . (present participle)
- Kamalaa! Kamalaa! Dorothy huusi lyöden käsiään yhteen tyrmistyksis-
saan. (MHA, 18; 2nd infinitive instructive)
"Voi kauhistus!" sanoi Dorothy ja väänteli käsiään järkyttyneenä. (KJ, 16;
coordinate clause)
MHA ignores the fact that the English participles and their nonfinite Fin­
nish equivalents differ in usage and level of difficulty. Replacing participles
by their formal equivalents in Finnish tends to lead to heavy left-branching
structures which are not regarded as well suited for children's literature (see
Section 3 below). In some cases, of which the following two excerpts (3 and
4) serve as examples, the use of complex sentence structure in MHA can­
not, however, be attributed to formally equivalent source text structures:
(3) Towards evening, when Dorothy was tired with her long walk and began to
wonder where she should pass the night, she came to a house rather larger
than the rest, (subordinate clause)
Iltapuolella, pitkasta taivalluksestaan väsyttyään ja alettuaan pohtia, minne
voisi käydä yoksi, Dorothy saapui kaikkia muita suuremman talon
kohdalle. (MHA, 25; contracted sentence)
Kun ilta alkoi lähestyä ja Dorothy rupesi väsymään pitkästä kävelystä ja
miettimään, missä hän viettaisi yon, hän saapui muita selvästi suuremmalle
talolle. (KJ, 23; subordinate clause)
(4) . . . and although he had no heart he knew it was wrong for the wildcat to
try to kill such a pretty, harmless creature, (infinitive)
Vaikka Tinamiehella ei ollutkaan sydanta, se tiesi, etta villikissa ei saisi yrit-
taakaan tuollaisen soman ja vaarattoman olennon tappamista. (MHA, 62;
verbal noun)
. . . ja vaikka Puunhakkaajalla ei ollut sydänta, hän tiesi että villikissan ei
olisi pitänyt ajaa takaa moista herttaistaja harmitonta otusta. (KJ, 63; infini-
tive)
 ACCEPTABILITY IN TRANSLATED CHILDREN'S BOOKS 205

With the exception of the brief discussion of formal equivalents above, the
alternative syntactic structures in KJ and MHA are not compared to source
text structures because the focus is on the comparison between the transla­
tions, not between each translation and the original work. The following
linguistic analysis is thus restricted to differences between KJ and MHA.

3. Linguistic Analysis

Two linguistic models, which give more detailed information about the
structure and content of sentences, are applied to the analysis of sentence
structures relevant to the readability of the translations. The first model is
Yngve's slightly modified version of the phrase-structure grammar (Yngve
1960: 444-446; Bloomfield 1969 [11933]; Chomsky 1972 [11957]). With the
help of constituent structure rules, a few pairs of sentences or phrases from
the translations are described by constructing tree diagrams representing
the hierarchical structure of the sentences. The model seems to be well
suited for the description of premodified participial attribute constructions.
The cognitive complexity of premodified participial attributes can be seen
as a result of the direction of branching. A participial attribute with several
premodifiers is a clearly regressive or left-branching structure which places
a greater burden on the reader's short-term memory than a progressive or
right-branching structure (see example 5). A concrete measure of this bur­
den is the depth value of the sentence which can be calculated from the tree
diagram. The tree diagrams thus give a concrete picture of the difference
between participial attribute constructions and corresponding relative
clauses: a progressive structure is easier to process because the reader can
move forward along the branches without having to keep more than the
immediately preceding word in short-term memory.
(5) Two tree diagrams illustrating a premodified participial attribute construc-
tion, i.e. a regressive structure (MHA), and a relative clause, i.e. a progres-
sive structure (KJ). In order to find out the depth of a sentence or phrase,
the branches of each node must be numbered from 0 to n-1, where n is the
number of branches from that node. Numbering is started from the right.
Then the depth of each terminal node can be calculated by adding up the
numbers written along all branches leading to that terminal node. The high-
est of the depth values of the terminal nodes is the depth of the whole sen-
tence or phrase (Yngve 1960: 450-451). The depth of the MHA construction
is thus four, the depth of KJ only one.
206 TllNA PUURTINEN

a tree full of fine fruit (source text)

maukkaitten hedelmien painosta notkuvan puun (MHA, 54)
puun joka oli t´ynnä maukkaita hedelmiä (KJ, 54)

MHA: KJ:

However, Yngve's model fails to cast more light on the complexity of

contracted sentences as against corresponding subordinate clauses. The sec­
ond, propositional model, adopted from Meyer (1975: 25-43), is regarded
as a more fruitful method for the analysis of the amount of information in a
sentence and the way in which this information is expressed, i.e. for discov­
ering the number and organization of propositions. Several experiments
have indicated in the past that reading speed and comprehension process
are to a great extent influenced by both the number of propositions in a text
(Kintsch and Keenan 1973: 257-274) and by syntactic complexity (Foss and
Lynch 1969: 145-148, Clark and Clark 1977: 56). The propositional content,
which is discovered through Meyer's model, is obviously quite the same in
both translations, but they employ different methods to convey this con­
tent: finite constructions typical of KJ express the propositions more
explicitly than MHA's nonfinite constructions. In order to account for this
difference, Meyer's model is supplemented by traditional grammar. The
lexical propositions and rhetorical propositions or relations of a few
excerpts from KJ and MHA are extracted according to the model (see
example 6), and the number of propositions and the number of signals of
rhetorical propositions is compared with the number of finite verb forms in
each translation. It might be assumed that the more extensive the proposi­
tional content of a sentence is, the more clearly it should be conveyed to the
reader by using finite constructions rather than very compact expressions,
 ACCEPTABILITY IN TRANSLATED CHILDREN'S BOOKS 207

and by employing specific signals, such as conjunctions, to express rhetori­

cal propositions. It appears that while the translations have similar proposi-
tional contents, they differ in the number of finite verb forms: MHA,
abounding in contracted sentences, contains fewer finite verbs than KJ. The
prevalence of finite constructions in KJ is likely to facilitate reading and
comprehension.
(6) The propositional content and the number of finite verb forms and signals
of rhetorical propositions (italicized) in two alternative translations of a sen­
tence from The Wizard of Oz.
When Dorothy stood in the doorway and looked around, she could see
nothing but the great gray prairie on every side. (source text)
Seisoessaan ovensuussa ja katsellessaan ymparilleen Dorothy saattoi nähdä
joka puolella vain aavan, harmaan preerian. (MHA, 11)
Kun Dorothy seisoi ovella ja katseli ympärilleen, hän ei nähnyt muuta kuin
suurta harmaata preeriaa joka puolella. (KJ, 7)
1. Dorothy stood in the doorway
2. Dorothy looked around
3. She could see nothing but the great gray prairie on every side
4. Setting time: when... (arguments: (1+2), 3)
5. Collection: and (arguments: 1,2)
three lexical propositions
two rhetorical propositions
MHA: one finite verb; one signal of rhetorical proposition
KJ: three finite verbs; two signals of rhetorical propositions
The less complex nonfinite forms of MHA are not analysed linguistically
since neither of the two models would help to elaborate their qualities. As
mentioned previously, these forms may not be essential to the degree of
readability but contribute to the static impression of style.

4. Measurement of Acceptability

4.1 Readability Test

The linguistic analysis seems to suggest that there is a difference in readabil­

ity, and hence in acceptability, between the two translations. But in order
to check the validity of this claim, it is necessary to conduct a few empirical
tests. A high degree of readability being considered one precondition for
acceptability in children's books, a readability test may prove enlightening.
208 TIINA PUURTINEN

Among the various readability testing methods, the cloze method best
suits the purposes of the study. Readability formulas, which are usually
based on word or sentence length and familiarity of vocabulary, are dis­
carded here because they completely ignore the syntactic structure of texts.
Moreover, these formulas have been developed for the study of informative
and not literary texts. Various formulas have nevertheless been used in the
past to compare the readability of literary translations and source texts
(Dye 1971, Klingberg 1977: 48-74). Traditional reading, comprehension
tests are rejected because of the risk of subjectivity in asking questions and
accepting answers. The cloze method has generally been accepted as an
objective and reliable measure of ease of comprehension (see e.g. Nida and
Taber 1969: 169, Enkvist and Kohonen 1976), although there has been
some disagreement about what exactly it measures: according to some
researchers (Chihara et al. 1977, Bachman 1982), cloze relies on global
comprehension, while others (e.g. Alderson 1979, Shanahan et al. 1982,
Markham 1988) claim that cloze is primarily sensitive to sentence-level pro­
cessing difficulty. However, making a distinction between syntactic and
global relationships (or micro- and macrostructure) in the material of this
study is not essential, since the effect of sentence-level or subsentence-level
complexity to be examined here is spread over a larger space, reducing the
readability of the entire text. Cloze is based on redundancy, which is an
important component of readability: increased redundancy in a message
facilitates understanding, whereas decreased redundancy makes the mes­
sage more difficult to understand. It is assumed that complex sentence
structures, such as contracted sentences and participial attributes, contain
less redundancy and therefore result in lower readability than correspond­
ing simple, finite constructions. In finite constructions the predictability of
the lexical items is high and hence the items are easy to comprehend in the
context.
The results of a previously arranged standard cloze test (in which
words are deleted at regular intervals; cf. modified cloze2) show that the
translations differ in readability (see Puurtinen 1987: 52-62). The test com­
prising five pages was made from the seventh chapter in the translations by
omitting every sixth word. The hypothesis was that the subjects performing
the cloze test derived from MHA (text B) would receive poorer marks than
those performing the other test derived from KJ (text A). The subjects of
the experiment were 9 to 10 year-old schoolchildren, who performed the
test in their class hours. They were divided into two groups, group A (19
 ACCEPTABILITY IN TRANSLATED CHILDREN'S BOOKS 209

pupils) receiving text A and grpup B (19 pupils) receiving text B. The test
papers were marked on the basis of the first three pages with 103 gaps (be­
cause the original five-page-long test turned out to be too long for most of
the subjects) using both narrow scoring (only the original omitted word was
accepted) and broad scoring (synonyms were accepted). Both scoring
methods produced similar results, which are presented in diagrams 1 and 2
below.
The scores of group B are on the whole lower than those of group A.
All answers of all subjects taken together, the proportion of right answers
in group A after narrow scoring is 50.8% and in group B 37.4%. The differ­
ence between these percentages, i.e. 13.4 percentage points, is significant
(p<.001). When broad scoring is applied, the proportion of acceptable
answers is 79.8% in group A and 61.5% in group B. The difference this
time is 18.3 percentage points.
Diagram 1. Cloze test results Diagram 2. Cloze test results
after narrow scoring after broad scoring

group A group B !

score score

The horizontal axis illustrates the scores rounded off to the nearest ten and the vertical
axis shows how many subjects obtained a given score.

The cloze test results indeed indicate that MHA has a lower degree of
readability than KJ. But the question arises whether it is really possible to
210 TIINA PUURTINEN

pinpoint the reason for this difference, as a standard cloze test measures the
overall understanding of a text and not the effect of separate factors on
readability. Is it justifiable to conclude that lower readability in MHA is
caused by the frequency of complex constructions? One might also suspect
that random deletion happened to favour text A, making it easier for the
subjects to complete than text B. But the test results for text A and text B
differ so much that this cannot be a sheer coincidence. Furthermore, since
the only significant difference between KJ and MHA is the complexity vs.
simplicity of sentence structures, this difference must have a noticeable
effect on readability. Consequently, it can be concluded that KJ is more
readable than MHA and thus more acceptable, conforming to the linguistic
norms of Finnish children's literature.

4.2 Subjective Assessment

Another way of testing acceptability is to have the translations assessed by

adult subjects. The general plan of the test to be carried out is as follows:
The same chapter of KJ and MHA will be presented to two groups,
each comprising 20 subjects, who will be requested to describe their general
impression of the text and to list stylistic features that they possibly find
irritating and unsuitable for a children's book, as well as to mention the
text's positive qualities. Finally, they will be asked to make their judgement
of the suitability of the text for the young target group on a six-point scale
marked from totally unsuitable to highly suitable. While KJ is supposed to
receive favourable comments on natural style and simple syntax, MHA is
expected to be criticized for nonfinite and complex sentence structures.
This method will reveal whether the readers really find the frequency of
complex constructions in MHA disturbing and whether even simpler non-
finite forms, such as 2nd infinitive instructives, are regarded as unsuitable
for the style of children's fiction.

4.3 Reading Test

A general requirement for children's books is that they should be fit to be

read aloud fluently. A third testing method will be used to find out whether
the translations meet this requirement:
A group of subjects will be instructed to read an excerpt from KJ and
MHA on tape, imagining that they are reading the story to a child. The
 ACCEPTABILITY IN TRANSLATED CHILDREN'S BOOKS 211

recordings may indicate the sentences or clauses that cause hesitation,

stumbling, repetition, or slowing down of reading speed. According to Nida
and Taber (1969: 172), this procedure is one of the best tests of a transla­
tion. However, it is likely to reveal only minor differences between KJ and
MHA, since the density of complex structures in MHA is probably not so
great as to create marked difficulties for fluent adult readers.

5. Conclusion

The three testing methods discussed above will provide data about the
readability of the translations, readers' reactions to their different styles,
and suitability of the texts for being read aloud. It will be interesting to see
to what extent the test results correlate with each other. The results will
finally be compared to collected information on the expectations and lin­
guistic norms concerning Finnish children's fiction in order to establish the
level of acceptability of the translations with respect to those expectations
and norms. The principal aim of the study is to show that sentence structure
and dynamic vs. static style are the primary determinants of acceptability in
translated children's literature.

Author's address:
Tiina Puurtinen • Savonlinna School of Translation Studies, University of
Joensuu • PL 48 • SF-57101 SAVONLINNA ■ Finland

Notes
1. Adaptation in this connection refers to those changes in the translation that result from
differences between the source and the target cultures or, in a wider sense, to versions of
adult books revised for children (Reiß 1982: 12).
2. In modified cloze words are omitted according to a predetermined principle and not at
regular intervals. This technique is often employed in language proficiency tests. Enkvist
and Kohonen (1976: 3-4) state that modified cloze does not measure overall comprehen-
sion of a text, but some more limited factor.
212 TIINA PUURTINEN

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